Bonus: Lasers & Feelings

Bonus One Shot!

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In this very special bonus episode, the crew plays Lasers & Feelings, a one-page TTRPG developed by John Harper. Vibe with the group as they attempt to save the 'verse from alien brain worms in a hilarious, off-the-wall session.

Meet the Crew:

• Jeff as Game Master

• Brian as Quip Kwazaar

• Stephanie as Neon Serenity

• Doja as EW7

• Scott as Zayda Stellar

• Show Transcript

  [00:00:00] Welcome to the Dark Star Venture Casts Bonus one Shot where the episodes are longer, the editing is looser, and guest stars hide behind every corner in the wild west of one shots. Anything is possible and our heroes are set to explore those very possibilities just as soon as they get their shit together on tonight's adventure cast,

  why don't you walk your pretty little tush over to that console and just type any type away.

  Yeah. No full porky pig in it. We got, we got nothing on the

  bottom. Tri Quarter comes back with alarming levels of horniness. What I meant to say was, blossom

  Ow. Owie my ankle

  To strap in for a bonus sized episode. This is the Dark Star Adventure Cast.

  Welcome back to Dark Star Adventures. Tonight we have a very special episode for you. We'll be taking a pause from our [00:01:00] normal plot, leaving the intrepid adventurers of the scapegoat in space for just a moment to play lasers and feelings, a great one. Sheet RPG by John Harper. It's actually for free if you go check it out on itch io.

  Uh, donations appreciated. So, tonight we are joined by our regular cast, some who have played this before. Some have not, so we will be reviewing the rules. Who here, uh, hasn't played it? I have not. Scott has not Everyone else. He's already like pretty familiar with it. That's good. Good.

  I think so. Yeah.

  Little bit. So, uh, for our listeners, if you go to itch.io and look up Blas and Feelings, you can download the one sheet for free and you can see exactly what we are playing. So this is what it says. You are the crew of the Interstellar Scout Ship Raptor. Your mission is to explore uncharted regions of space, deal with aliens both friendly and deadly, and defend the consortium world against space dangers.

  Ooh, captain Darcy has been overcome by the strange psychic entity known [00:02:00] as something else leaving you to fend for yourselves while he recovers in a medical pod. So there's a couple steps here. We will first create characters, then we will create the ship, the Raptor. Then we'll go over the rules about how to roll dice and how to play the game.

  And then we will create the space adventure where we randomly roll a threat that wants to do something, uh, and the something which will something and now make more sense when we get there. And then I'll quickly go over the rules about, as a game master, how to run this game, and then we'll dive into it.

  This is not a pre-planned game. I didn't write anything down. This is all about creating an uh, a cooperative, collaborative adventure on the fly with your friends, which is what it's all about. So players, we'll now create characters. Let's just go through this together. You're each gonna choose a style for your character.

  So you can be an alien, an android, you can be dangerous, a hotshot, intrepid, savvy, or sexy. And no, Scott, you cannot be a [00:03:00] sexy alien. You have to be an alien or sexy. 'cause it has to do with what skills you can use Later on.

  I am gonna be a hot shot. Ooh. Kind of like a Han Solo hotshot. Or, I mean, it'll, it'll come into clarity when you, when I tell you my choice for number two.

  Of course. Okay. I think

  I might go Android.

  Oh, okay. Again, crime. You can't be a sexy Android helix would be devastated. I know.

  I, I will be. I will be. Just a little curvy, but like apparently not sexy.

  Well, they said a little Kirby. I was like the video game character

  Boy. Wait.

  We said you can't be sexy.

  You can't be Kirby.

  My Android sucks up aliens and gains their powers. No,

  you don't know what you just did that. My new character.

  Yeah. No one's stuck in anything. We'll see you say that now. Okay, so I guess that means I will be the sexy one. As usual.

  As usual. Brian taking a hit for the squad, just

  for you

  guys. So, okay, so we [00:04:00] have a intrepid, a Android, a hotshot, and a sexy.

  So number two, you now choose, choose your role for your character. This is essentially your job on the ship. You can be a doctor, an envoy, an engineer, an explorer, a pilot, a scientist or a soldier. And then the combination of the two things are gonna essentially help decide, uh, what sort of like skills you can do, which we will decide on the fly.

  And we'll get into that a little bit later when we discuss the rules. Oh yeah. I'm a, I'm a hot shot Envoy, so I am

  sorry for claiming Explorer right off the bat.

  Yeah. I shot Envoy. Yeah. I'm like the ambassador who thinks he's the hottest shit, you know, I just closed a, a big peace negotiation. I can't be touched on top of my game.

  Top of the field. Yeah. Yeah. You're like the Wolf of Wall Street. No conflict can withstand my Envoy skills.

  I kind of picture

  you as like a John

  Ralphio from Parks and Rec. Just like closing deals. [00:05:00]

  Closing deals.

  When I looked at these roles, I will tell you that Envoy was the last one I would have associated with Hot Shot,

  but Oh no.

  Yeah, you knew you. It's almost, yeah, it's like, you know, really, you know, just really into those negotiations. Yeah. Making bills, stacking Also, I, I'm, you're a crypto bro. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

  You're out there trying to sell your coin and get people into your like betting app.

  I am channeling like a high powered sales, like bro.

  Mm-hmm. A little bit with it. Yeah. Yeah.

  Patrick

  Bateman. Full American. Psycho.

  Yeah.

  Okay, so now we have a explorer, an envoy. What else we got? Do you have something in mind? Do

  I can go either way. I'm literally, I was going Android because I can either be, uh, what's not Boba, the other one with the, with the cylinder face.

  IGD. Um, yeah. Thank you. Um, or I can go C3 po. I can go, I can go either way with this.

  Okay. I was thinking either like doctor or [00:06:00] scientists, so I think we're not even in the same wheelhouse. Oh, see, that's, I was sexy doctor. That's like from the truck stop. You're gonna be the sexy doctor. Yeah. I

  didn't do that on purpose, but yeah, I actually based the sexy doctor in the, at the truck stop on the cat doctor from lower decks.

  Oh, that's amazing. She wasn't, that doctor wasn't sexy. She was an addict. She was over the top OBT two. I was just trying to be cat doctor basically. Yeah. The fact that you were attracted to her had nothing to do with it. I wasn't. You forced that. Hang

  on.

  Wait. No, no, no, no. You were very attracted to the cat doctor and Brian.

  I mean, if I known, if I'd known she was a cat, then Yeah. Or, and Brian or, or Thorn specifically was really into like the station, uh, owner.

  Yeah. I don't, this is different from how I remember it, but Yeah. You know, you know, whatever.

  Well, it's all, it's all in the edit. You'll hear it when it comes out. Yeah.

  It's a good thing that it's recorded so that we can double check. Yeah. I spliced it all up. So it's just like, it's just copy. Like, I really love [00:07:00] Cat Doctor Thorn. You want a banana?

  Yes, please. Give me banana. So Thorn, you're going sexy, doctor. Uh, you know what? I am going to, man, I don't know. Sexy scientist has alliteration.

  It does. I'm going that, that alliteration is ss, so,

  okay. You got me? Yeah. Thank Dr. Don't do that. Don't do. No, no, no, no. Cut that. Cut that. Cut that. Take it outta the pod quick. Uh, okay. So number three. So you're gonna see, wait, wait. What's,

  what's do gonna be, yeah, which one did you pick? Yeah.

  Uh, I, I think I'm going to, we have nobody who can do the pew pew, so I'm probably gonna go Android Soldier.

  Sick. Is

  everyone walking? Murder Bot. Bot. I love Murder Bot. I love the novels too. They're so good. If, if anyone hasn't read the, the original novella, uh, all systems read. It's a great piece of literature. And I believe it was nominated for a Nebula, but then the final book of the series, or maybe the whole series like won, uh, like the Nebula, which I've read them all.

  They're great. [00:08:00] Show is very good too, but it's kind of short. It's only like 28 minute episodes.

  Yeah, I need to read the series.

  It's very fun. Uh, okay, so we have our murder bot. So now everyone will choose a number from two to five. A high number means you're better at lasers. Lasers are technology, science, cold rationality, calm, precise action.

  A lower number means that you're better at feelings, intuition, diplomacy, seduction, wild, passionate action. I made feelings sound better, but they're both great.

  It's just the way you said seduction. That said, I am, I am a two.

  I am also a two. Or do we have I five? Yeah.

  So you guys are both straight up feelings.

  Yeah. Yeah.

  Mm-hmm. Okay. Then I'm gonna go more lasers, even though I am sex seduction might have been one of my things. I don't think, I think I'm gonna go with like a. Four. Yeah, four. I mean,

  being sexy means that it's sort of effortless. You could be just focusing on your, your medical career and just, [00:09:00] you know, emanating like pheromones.

  Just beating guys off with both hands.

  What's the, uh, Silicon Valley joke? Yep. They have to optimize. Middle out, middle allowed, middle allowed.

  Actually, I'm gonna switch mine to three because I've earned like at least 30 merit badges at this point. So yeah, we're

  gonna go with three merit badge that requires merit badges, developers.

  We'll get there. We'll get there. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

  And I'm going for a, uh, full assassin Android soldier. Five.

  Damn. So you're like, here I go, killing again.

  That's all about those blazers. I mean, so, so your data before you get your emotion ship, like you don't have your emotion ship, you can't go.

  He's 88, like IG 88.

  Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

  We already went over this. Stop picking other robots. I picked, I picture him as a, there's so.

  What's ig?

  Yeah, but I wouldn't call IG 88 an Android. I would call him a robot.

  Yeah, he's a droid actually

  though. He's Why I know IG 80. Well, I, correct me if I'm wrong, Brian, 'cause you know Star Wars a lot better than me, but IG 88 is a [00:10:00] bounty hunter that you see for a moment in the Empire.

  Strikes back who was like, he's a liberated bot, right? Like he doesn't have his control trip or anything anymore. He's like

  sentient, basically.

  Yeah.

  Yeah. Aren't they all kind of, he's only in the movies for like reframes and I can name all those bounty hunters. Yeah.

  Moving on. Aw. Oh, I wanna talk about Star Wars all night.

  Uh, I think that's everyone, right? Everyone has their number. So step number four, give your character a cool space adventure name like Sparks McGee or something. So, uh, I think if you think about Futurama, I think Futurama has great cool space adventure names. Yeah. So like, oh, you can always use that as a reference, but stay away from names.

  Like, like, I don't know, David or something. Everyone's quiet. Was everyone gonna do David?

  I was originally gonna go for Not anymore. Well, no, no. I was originally go for Xenon, you know, the girl of the 21st century. Um, but then I went with Neon instead.

  Oh,

  neon Serenity.

  Neon Serenity. Yeah. [00:11:00]

  Also Xenon Girl of the 21st Century does hold up.

  Makes me think of Firefly

  Chicken

  de. Maybe Is that Delen? Because you were gonna do David before I shot,

  like

  Davo. I was like, well,

  I was like stellar. What's Stellar's not a name Tel though. Tel is

  a name like Tel Skarsgard. Yeah, I was

  thinking Tel Skarsgard. Well, you could do Stellar Stellar's a a stellar name.

  Alex. Like Stellar is a last name. Maybe. Lemme think of a first name.

  Um,

  you're a hotshot Envoy. Yeah. Naming things is like the

  worst.

  We could use a name generator.

  Yeah. Somebody else go. What? What are your names? Brian Doja. No, no, no, no.

  Scott. Don't let him pass the buck. Don't let him pass the buck you make of a name right now.

  Mr. Grant. Grant. Stellar. PT Griffin. You're just naming things that you looked at.

  I as I was coming up with names, actually went and looked at the periodic table to try and come up with something like Element related and [00:12:00] then drew Serenity on. 'cause like my characters, I'm just trying to pull out of my Sailor Moon nostalgia.

  Just random references.

  Mm. I'm Zeta Stellar. Oh, isn't that uh, will Smith's daughter?

  Oh my God,

  no. Zeta Stella, Catherine Zeta Stellar. She dips beneath lasers. Uh, who are we missing? Ooh, Android soldier. Ooh. No, I didn't think anyone would knew my workaholics reference, so I was just gonna blow. Oh, I did? Yeah.

  Uh,

  just to jump in here, I'm Kip Quasar. Oh, I mean, I didn't, but it's Kip Quasar Ki or Kip Kip with a p. You don't wanna be Kip? No, that's, that's literally a Futurama character.

  It is. Literally, yeah. Kip Kazar love it. We have a lot of, uh, very cosmic names.

  Also, Kip is spelled QUIP and Quasar is spelled K-W-A-Z-A-A-R.

  So quip, like you do a lot of quips and quasar, like quai cupcakes? No, it's

  pronounced

  Kip. Oh, Kip. But it's built Quip. We'll drop the U. [00:13:00] No, you can keep it. I'm not trying to police people's names here. I'm just trying to make fun of you guys. You cry unless their

  name's David, in which case, get the fuck out.

  If your name is David, I don't care if it's your character's name or your real life name. Get outta here. Get out. I will not know

  you're outta the name. We an Android name IG 88.1.

  I was 89. Uh uh. I'm not sure which order to do it. Uh, echo. Echo Whiskey seven. Uh, but everybody just calls me WW

  Oh no. Are you gonna do a George Bush accent the whole time?

  Oh my God. No. No. I could though. You love a Southern accent Way. Whiskey seven. That pro

  Bush shirt you're wearing is making me really uncomfortable.

  Well, Brian, what's with your shirt that just says nine 11 was justified. I got that at the Goodwill. You got that at the Goodwill? I, I'm wearing it inside out.

  I just don't have anything to wear. I like Echo. I like the Echo Whiskey seven. Yeah. So w [00:14:00] call you Eeu. UEU. Ew. Hey, go do, go check the perimeter. Eew. It kind of reminds me of, uh, what is it? Uh, what's that comedian? He talks about naming his kid like Megatron or something. Not Steven Lynch, the guy that is just like him but doesn't play guitar.

  He's in a bunch of movies.

  Nope.

  No. Can say

  it again.

  Moving on. He, okay. Everyone that's listening is going, it's this guy. How do they not know? He does like the alien and like pretends to be an alien. He name, he is like naming his kid. He's like, go clean your room. Oh man. If uh, you know who this is, uh, just shoot Stephanie a Instagram dm.

  I

  checked. She'll be our, she'll be our Instagram point of contact. The app that I'm not on and chat. Add some MAs

  it on. Oh shit. I'm not on Instagram either. I have a DSA Instagram so go ahead. I don't have any, so I don't have any social media, so No, me neither. Oh wait. Hit me up on Blue Sky at uh, dark Star Adventures and let me know who this comedian was.[00:15:00]

  So your equipment, you have a consortium uniform with built-in vac suit for spacewalk. Uh, and I think it should be Star Trek Color coded. So everyone should choose what department they're from and what color that is. And you also have a super sweet space phone camera, communicator, scanner thing with universal translator built into it.

  So that's the tri-quarter, right? Yep. Just whatever it needs to do it can do. And you also have a variable beam phase pistol set to stun usually. So there's a dial on it for stun and then you get into the kill range and there's no dial after you hit kill. Because kill means kill. There's no level one and level 10 of kill.

  The player's goal is to get your character involved in Crazy Space adventures and try to make the best of them. So this is a collaborative narrative game. So we're all sort of the game master, which is good for me 'cause I can just sit back and drink beer and eat ice cream and you guys can kind of GM yourselves.

  So the last thing you have to do is choose your character goal. So that could be become captain, meet sexy [00:16:00] aliens, shoot bad guys, find new world, solve weird space mysteries. Prove yourself or keep being awesome. Yeah. Or you can make up your own thing. So go nuts. Oh good. So everyone has chosen their style, chosen their role, chosen, their lasers and feelings number chosen, their cool space adventure name.

  They've learned about their equipment, they've chosen their goal, and now we're gonna meet the characters. Uh, Brian, you're first.

  Oh, okay. Sure. That's great. That what I wanted. Okay. So yeah, I'm Brian and I am playing Kip Quasar. So let me get into character for Kip Quasar. Um. Hello everyone. This is the sexy doctor of the Raptor Kip Quasar.

  Oh my

  God.

  I'm a slender humanoid with long silver hair, and I'm searching the stars for a cure, the acute osis that is plaguing the people of the Kappa Quadrant.

  Whoa. How tall is he? Um,

  like

  five. [00:17:00] Eh, nevermind. Okay. Not sexy. Aw. Why you gotta be

  like that? This guy would never survive on Tinder. He's actually not really interested in love.

  It's the pe like he, he doesn't even get it. It actually bounces right off. He's not particularly suave, but he's very good. Like he's easy on that. Okay. I love it. Um.

  I, uh, real quick, uh, Steph, do you mind if I slightly wrangle your character into my backstory? That's

  fine.

  Sweet.

  We'll make it work.

  It'll be fine.

  I, I, I don't think I'm gonna change anything. I, I, uh, for your, I just think I'm gonna, uh, do you want her to go

  first?

  No. Uh uh. Is it okay if, uh, I, you, you technically own me even though, uh, you, you might, may or may not actually be cool with it.

  You can't really own a droid man. That's

  exactly, yeah. Wait, wait.

  How come all of your car characters are connected to Stephanie's characters?

  Because sometimes I really need help with my backstories. [00:18:00]

  This is not one of those times. You guys, you guys are very old friends. You guys are like twinsies. Exactly. Oh

  God. Let's be in each other's backstories. No, thank you. Can you have a Q osis for me?

  Whose backstory can I be in?

  Everyone?

  Ryan, you're the sexy doctor. Everybody wants to be in your backstory. Exactly.

  Okay, let's Here at, uh, doge,

  I'm, uh, echo Whiskey seven. Uh, I, my goal is, well, oh boy. Here I go killing again. I am a red shirt on the Raptor. Um, not sure why the fleshy ones gave me a shirt. I don't really think I need one.

  Wait, you're just pure red shirt energy. Yep.

  Give him a gun in a red shirt and send 'em out there.

  Wait, wait. Yeah, we should talk about shirts. Brian. What? What color are you wearing? If we're doing like TNGI guess it's

  blue

  then, because you're like an envoy, right?

  No, I'm the doctor's.

  The doctor. You're the doctor who's, you're the [00:19:00] envoy.

  So you're wearing a skin tight catsuit. Yeah, it's, I, I've got white. Oh, oh, you're like the doctor from, uh, strange New Worlds. Yeah. Or the nurse, but we're not on me yet. And,

  and

  is is, is w even wearing clothes? He's wearing a

  red shirt. Yeah. He just said that he's been forced to wear a red shirt against, well, don't normally

  wear clothes, but they gave me a red shirt and said I had to wear it.

  Just imagine. I spray painted across him. I'm picturing a red shirt, no bottoms. He's Mickey Mouse in it. Oh hundred. He's duck it pokey pig in there. Oh yeah. Right. He's Donald ducking it. Mickey Mouse is the reverse, right? Yeah. Mickey Mouse has shorts on, but no shirt. I don't remember what this looks like.

  Yeah, he nips out. He nips out.

  Yeah. No full porky pig in it. We got, we got nothing on the bottom.

  Uh, well, I guess, wait, so, uh, w is owned by Stephanie's character.

  Oh. To, to be determined backstory, uh, incoming.

  Oh. Oh. Now this is the part where he pasts like an 18 page document. Exactly. No, I, we were playing just,

  [00:20:00] yeah, he heard about it last night.

  He spent all night on fanfiction.net submitting his story.

  Fanfiction net is in the past. Forgot

  I'm, I'm cutting deep with these s tonight. Um, okay. Well, so is your backstory gonna be explained by Stephanie? Uh,

  not necessarily. I don't really have much of a backstory beyond that at this point. Well, I think

  you can be, um, it might be fun if you were a, as one of my earlier badges, say like my Pluto badge, I had to make some kind of, uh, robot ai.

  And unfortunately, or fortunately, echo Whiskey seven appeared and I honestly don't know how to control this thing, but it's mine.

  Yep. It's, I was gonna go at the Gino. Uh, I, I just kind of follow you around, like always like, just trying to pick up. Mm-hmm. I, I, I sense you, you, you know something and I wanna figure it out.

  We're buddies. Follow each other. No, you follow me around as I try, as I work towards my batches.

  Okay. Well

  can we redo this one just to make sure?

  Yeah, [00:21:00] yeah. Well that this is the stuff you have to drop a note for Scott. Yep. If you wanna. That's what I've been doing. Thanks bud. Yeah. So, uh, just to rehash here, your, uh, wait, w is, backstory is gonna be explained by Stephanie right now, right?

  So I'm just gonna call on Stephanie.

  No, no. Debbie can come up with this. Can

  you just did kill it, get it in the I love it. Yeah. I don't know where we were and I'm actually not gonna cut any of this, so it's,

  oh gosh. Okay. Alright.

  That's the spirit.

  I'm kind of this one away chef. So keep notes. Intro. I'm Neon Serenity and I am on my last mission to earn my Sailor Scout merit badge so I can reach Pretty Guardian rank within the Cosmic Scouts Association.

  It's an organization that promotes loven justice throughout the galaxy by punishing evil. Part of my last badge though, to get my Pluto badge, I had to create this android, this AI thing, and that's how I ended up with Echo Whiskey seven over here. And, you know, I got the badge, it [00:22:00] worked out, but he, he's still, he's still working through a lot of things, so I, I'm, I'm keeping him with me on all of these trips just to, you know, make sure that he does what he's supposed to do.

  Is a, my little Android soldier, you know, it's pretty hard out here exploring 'cause I'm a very intrepid explorer, so he's kind of always gonna be right by my side. Make sure that we get back so we can keep protecting the galaxy.

  You just invented like a whole campaign. Yes. That sounds awesome. I love also killer, killer character voice.

  Steady. Thank you. Yeah, I was gonna say that too. It's, it's really reminiscent of like, uh, like younger anime characters like Ash Cutcher. I know.

  I'm trying.

  Oh my God, that's awesome. Okay, so, uh, and what's and what's your uniform color? Oh right, yeah.

  Obviously gold as a leader is a future leader of the Galaxy

  Gym leader,

  um, gym leader.

  'cause we do have badges, but no, just a leader in general. Do you not know anything about the [00:23:00] Cosmic Scouts Association?

  I don't. I'm hoping to be informed and, and I can't wait to learn. Have my eyes opened?

  Echo Whiskey seven W We'll have pamphlets for all of you. W remind me to make the pamphlets.

  I've already made them passing out pamphlets.

  Do they print on like a dot matrix

  outta your back? Right outta the back. Damn. I really love that, Steph. And maybe I'll steal it and I'll run a mini campaign. Yeah. Mini just then to run that idea. Mini campaign

  or it makes it into the main game.

  Oh wait, I don't know if it, it would be like a huge tone shift in the name of the moon.

  Froggy gets radicalized by the Cosmic Scouts Association. Yeah. It's

  like Who you, who are you? I'm Sailor Waa. Hell yeah. Okay. Next is

  Scott. What you got? All right. I'm Scott. Tonight, I'm playing Zaina Stellar. I am a hotshot envoy. My mission [00:24:00] is to become the most famous diplomat in the galaxy. I'm talking, getting on all the talk shows.

  I'm gonna write books, I'm going to publish self-help videos. I mean, I'm off a just phenomenal, uh, negotiation between the glands and the Flans, the two warring families that have been at each other's throats for millennia, it felt like. And I'm here now just to find the next conflict that I can resolve and, you know, get my face out

  there into the galaxy.

  Dude, love it. And I love Zeta Stellar. I really wanna sing the song every time. Catherine Zeta, stellar hot Envoy with a two. Uh, so just to recap, we have Zeta Stellar hotshot Envoy with a two Kip Quasar sexy doctor with a four neon serenity intrepid explorer with a three echo whiskey, seven, also known as w, an Android soldier [00:25:00] with a five.

  Now we're gonna move on to create our ship. So the ship is called the Raptor. Your captain is Captain Darcy. But like I've said before, he is been overcome by a strange psychic entity known as the something else leaving you defend for yourself. Well, he recovers in a medical pod. Now we're gonna create the ship.

  What is the raptor? So as a group, you will pick two strengths for the raptor out of fast, nimble, well armed, powerful shields, superior sensors, cloaking device and fighter craft. So you pick outta that and then we'll move on to choosing one problem that the ship has.

  Okay. I'm guessing we might need at least cloaking or shields because I don't think we have a pilot.

  Yeah, I think some. I think though it's also good to have like a defensive focused thing. I do like cloaking device.

  What about cloaking in sensors? Do you guys like that?

  I

  Sensors

  we're playing like a red October type of a situation in that case. Yeah. Right. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I

  like those

  two. Yeah, I like, I think those two combos could be fun.

  And we basically just need to avoid [00:26:00] conflict though.

  Well, don't forget what your imperative is. Get your character involved in crazy space adventures.

  Yeah, we gotta sneak into places and then yeah, once we're out of the ship, that's when W gets to work.

  Boy,

  I love killing

  so fast. Nimble, well armed.

  Powerful shields, superior sensors. Cloaking device. Fighter craft. What are we thinking? Fighter craft means we have a fighter craft. Not that we are a fighter. Craft. It means you are a fighter craft.

  Tristan. Oh. I thought it meant we had like X wings

  on board.

  Yeah.

  Well it doesn't really say, but you guys don't have a pilot, so I don't think that would help you.

  Yeah, we have a robot. Yeah, true. We can do anything.

  I'm mostly here for the pew pew.

  I like cloaking device and superior sensors. I think that could be fun.

  Perfect. Perfect for exploring.

  Agree. Okay, so the Raptor has a cloaking device and superior sensors. Now you must pick one problem. It has. The problems are fuel hog always needs energy crystals only one medical pod and Captain Darcy is in it.

  Horrible circuit breakers [00:27:00] in battle consoles tend to explode on the bridge. Classic, classic TG. That's what the enterprise has. Yeah, that's that's actually, that's every Star Trek. Yeah. Uh, or a grim reputation. Captain Darcy did some bad stuff in the past.

  Oh, interesting.

  So I like grim grim reputation. I think it also fits with us having the Coing device and sensors.

  If we're kind of like a spy ship, like he's doing some nasty shit.

  It's definitely having a murder robot

  look. Is it really murder if we're the good guys?

  Ooh, are we the baddies? I'm gonna write down that argument. That is a good one. Is it really murder? I think we're going grim, grim reputation. Grim rep works for me.

  Okay, cool. Lemme just note that down. We got that screw cred. We got that space cred. The Raptor has superior sensors, a cloaking device, and it has a grim reputation. I mean, a section [00:28:00] 31 ship. Now,

  if people ask why neon serenity is on the raptor, a ship with a grim reputation.

  Yeah, I was just wondering that.

  Yeah. Um, she's just gonna, you know, she's, she's always wanted to overcome something just really special, um, and just really wants to put her mark in the world. She, she thinks that'll, or she wants to put her mark on the galaxy and really prove that she's capable of being a pretty guardian within the Cosmic Scouts Association.

  So sometimes she might bite off more than she can chew. Um, in that case, in this case, it's by joining the Raptor is,

  well, I just go where I'm sent to solve diplomatic crises and they seem to pop up wherever the Raptor goes. So that's why I'm here.

  Any chance the scouts are looking for doctors.

  Is a very

  sexy doctor.

  Mm-hmm. Um, um, um, w give him a, give him a pamphlet

  literature.

  Mm-hmm.

  The dot, the dot matrix printer or whatever it's called, isn't dot Matrix, the [00:29:00] Space Balls. Android is

  from Reboot.

  It's also the name of the character in Reboot. Yep. Oh yeah. Reboot.

  This is good. This is a good robot name.

  Yeah, it's a great robot name.

  Um, okay, so the next thing that we have to go over is how to play the game. So specifically Rolling. Rolling. The dice is the name of the section on the sheet. So very simple game. It only has one mechanic. Couldn't be any simpler when you do something risky, specifically risky. If you don't do something risky, you don't have to roll.

  So everyone's good enough at their jobs to be able to exist. Everyone can jump, climb and shoot in a totally normal situation. It's when you're doing something risky. I like that. It separates it from other games in a lot of like egregious rolling. So when you do something risky, roll a 1D six to find out how it goes.

  Roll A plus 1D if you're prepared, and roll an additional plus 1D if you're an expert.

  So I assume you would tell us if we were one of those things at the time, right?

  Well, you will, you will explain your [00:30:00] preparation before the roll happens. So if you're like waiting for someone to get, like walk into a room, she can shoot them.

  You can be like, I hide beyond a couch and I brace my arm against the couch, right? So I say, you're prepared. You kind of have the drop on them, you're braced, you're good to go. Okay? Um, if you have the perfect equipment for a situation like perfect climbing equipment, the correct rope, you have all of the gear you need that safely climb, I'd say you're prepared, right?

  An expert is going to be based on your role. So if our Android tries to patch up someone in the field, they're not gonna get the expert bonus. But if our doctor does, they're gonna get the plus 1D. That makes sense. It's that simple. That's simple. And it says right here, the GM tells you how many dice to roll based on your character and the situation.

  Roll your dice and compare each dive result to your number. Remember, your number is two through five. A low number is a feeling, a high number is a laser. So if you're using lasers for this role, you wanna roll under your number. So if you're trying to hack something or heal somebody, or you know, anything technical at [00:31:00] all, if you're using feelings, you wanna roll over your number.

  So if you're trying to talk someone off of a ledge or like gain entrance to an area or you know, anything like that,

  negotiate peace treaty between two war and nations.

  You know, normal stuff. Yep. So, yeah. You can roll up to three dice. If none of your dice succeed, it goes wrong. The GM will say how things get worse if one dies, succeeds, you barely manage it.

  I will inflict a complication upon you or a harm or some sort of additional cost. If two dice succeed, awesome. You did completely average. No, nothing bad happens and you succeed. If you get three diced on a success, meaning you are prepared and you're an expert and all three succeeded counts as a critical success.

  I will tell you how you get some extra little sugar on top. I'll give you a little, a little loving, I'll let you know what happens. That benefits you even above and beyond what you thought was possible and you're wildest dreams. So it's like you try to steal a cookie. I'm like, you actually got two cookies.

  Like, oh shit.

  I don't know. I can imagine quite a bit [00:32:00]

  if you roll your number exactly. You have a laser feelings. You get a special insight into what's going on, ask the GM a question and I will answer you honestly some good questions. What are they really feeling? Who's behind this? How could I get them to blank?

  What should I be on the lookout for? What's the best way to blank? And then you can change your action if you want to. Helping assist roles which are necessary in any, uh, modern game. And it's oftentimes the lamest thing about a game, but I really like it in laser feeling lasers and feelings. You wanna help someone say how you're gonna help them and you roll if you succeed.

  Plus 1D. And that's how someone could get four ded to roll four dice. Yeah. Yeah. Some of us have played this before. None of us are experts. So I want to ask you guys what you think about this. It says if you roll your number exactly, you have a laser feelings. So if you're rolling three dice. What does that mean?

  So in my mind, that means that

  one of the dice is my number. Any of the dice. Any of the dice is my [00:33:00] number. It doesn't count as a a success, right? It does not count as a

  success or if it right laser. But

  then you can change your action if you want to and roll again. Yeah. So rolling more dice, more of a chance to get a laser feeling.

  That's right. Nice.

  If I rolled three dice, two of them succeeded and one of them was a, was a laser feeling, then I could, I could just like get my laser feeling info and then not change my action or roll again because I already succeeded. 'cause two of them did it. But if two of them failed and then I rolled a laser feeling I could change my action if I wanted to and then roll again.

  Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, that makes sense. Yep. Okay. Uh, so if there's no questions on that, we're gonna move on to the last part of the setup. This, I can't believe this was all set up. This was so much fun. I feel like we've just been playing the game the whole time. I'm now gonna create the space adventure and by create, I mean roll randomly.

  And for anyone wondering, we are using Foundry and we're playing through Forge hosting it. Uh, great service. I rolled a six on a 1D six. So the threat is an alien brain worm. Oh, alien brain worms, [00:34:00] plural. Even worse, alien brain worms want to pacify or occupy the ancient space ruin, which will fix everything.

  So in my mind, we need to help

  the space worms.

  Oh,

  oh. That's how I, that's how I took it. By

  them

  occupying the ancient space ruin,

  it'll fix quote unquote everything. Exactly. We have a tube with an alien space brain worm in it, and we have to bring it into the ruin and get it past all of the whatever in the ruin.

  And if we get it to the end, it'll fix everything. It'll even probably save the captain,

  or we have to create an alliance with the alien brain worms to get to convince them to go to the uh, and we

  have to carry them in our brains.

  Mm-hmm.

  Oh my God.

  Uh, so lemme just read the last little bit here. So if we're running the game as a game master, we're gonna play to find out how to defeat the threat. Introduce the threat by showing evidence of its recent [00:35:00] badness. Before a threat does something to the characters, show signs that it's about to happen, that ask them what to do.

  Zon charges the mega cannons on his ship. What do you do? Daniella pours you a glass of urin whiskey and slips her arms around or arm around your waist. What do you do? Call for a role when the situation is uncertain. Don't pre-plan any outcomes. Let the chips fall where they may use failures to push the action forward.

  The situation always changes after a role for good or Ill ask questions and build on the answers. This is very much like kind of a yes and type of game. So have you encountered a void cults before where, what happened? And then we go from there. So you are, the threat is alien brain worms. We wanna pacify occupy the ancient space ruins, which will fix everything.

  Zeta Quip, Kip Zeta Neon, and W are on the case. And I really like the first suggestion that Brian had. So I'm gonna go with that. Although that does make the alien brain warmers not a threat so much. I will say that's true. They're

  supposed to be the threat.

  I guess I didn't read that. The [00:36:00] threat is that it doesn't want to go.

  The threat is that you have to get it there. I wouldn't get too worked. I wouldn't get too like involved in like the exact language here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The spirit of the game is that it doesn't even care about itself for sure. No. I'm reading a pdf DF with a microscope. We're gonna follow

  all the

  rules.

  It says a threat, dot, dot, dot. I found a rule buried in one of these dots. It's written really tiny font. That's three dots. Dot dot. That's serious business. But Hailey brain worms want to pacify or occupy the ancient space ruins, which will fix everything. And I have no idea what we're gonna do. And here we go.

  You are in deep space in the raptor, the hum, the bleeps and bloops from the consoles. The, the huff of the environmental systems. You all feel like you are at home here, except for the Android probably Who doesn't feel anything or the five lasers? You are coming, you're, you're [00:37:00] delivery drivers and you are currently up for the consortium and you're currently in deep space going to deliver a crate of hypo pens to a planet way out there that has recently gone dark.

  So they've asked you to make a delivery, but to keep your eyes peeled and see if they need help, because you're not simply delivery drivers, you're delivery drivers for the consortium. So you're, of course, all trained to do away missions and to help out and make, you know, contact with alien beings if you so need to.

  The planet's name is Blear. Yep. So as you're approaching Blear six, a ping comes up on your, your, uh, projector screen. Big Star Trek style projector screen on your, on screen on. Oh, a man who is just alien enough to be called an alien because he has forehead ridges, appears on screen. He has dark green skin [00:38:00] and, uh, like a crooked nose that seems not to be normal for his, his, uh, species.

  He has yellow eyes and a forked tongue behind fanged teeth, very snake-like, but otherwise completely human looking, completely normal looking. He says You have entered privileged space. Turn around immediately.

  Um, as the hot shot envoy that I am, when the captain went down with his strange illness, I kind of nominated myself the leader.

  So I'm sitting in the captain's chair and I, I stand up, I go, hello there. This is the Raptor. Uh, I am Zeta Stellar. You might have heard of me and I, I think there might be some confusion. We are on a, uh, a mission of peace to deliver some much needed supplies to black R six. Well, we don't want it anymore, but well, we, we have, we have it here.

  We're here. We might as well make the delivery and then we'll be on our way.

  I, I, uh, and he turns away and talks to someone off screen in a, a [00:39:00] hissing language. And when he does so, you see a little pink tendril snaking out of his ear must just be an artifact of their race. And he turns back and he says, we don't want any of it.

  Go away. And he hits a button and he turns off the screen.

  Oh,

  rude. That was

  peculiar. We will need a refusal of delivery form filled out in triplicate

  kip. That little pink tendril wiggling around it seemed unnatural. Oddly, like something that you've extracted from a patient before, an alien brain worm.

  You're not sure if it's a symbiosis with this race, but something is definitely weird. 'cause why would they refuse good consortium goods? It's strange.

  Perhaps these brain worms are telling the people of black R six what to do.

  Well, I know that this ship has some of the best sensors in the quadrant. So I say we give a good old Scanny scan over there and see what we find.

  Kip you know all that sciency mumbo jumbo, don't you? Why don't you walk your pretty little tush over to that console and just [00:40:00] take away not appropriate in the workplace. Pee pee pee. The way you move is inappropriate for the workplace.

  Uh, okay, so you beep boop, uh, your long range scanner's up and the ship's ai uh, comes over the speakers. So you go and you like hit a couple commands. Everything's voice command on the ship. So you hit a couple commands with activates the ai and the AI says, hello Kip. What can I do for you today?

  Hello. A need your assistance in scanning the surface of Laar six.

  We believe that sort of alien brain worms may be afoot. Ah, interesting.

  Kip, I'm now scanning Laar six

  scan complete. There are brain worms in over 85% of the population. The blears are infected. Did you believe that this infection is harmful to them? I believe that the blears are slowly going to starve to death and die as happens [00:41:00] to anyone infected with an alien brain worm. Well, you heard them.

  This is the perfect mission for my say or scout Marriot badge.

  You guys, we have to save the planet.

  Agree neon. These people must be saved. We must save them from this calamity and make sure everyone knows what has happened here so they can be prepared in case it comes to their doorstep and know who to call upon if

  they need saving. Just to be clear, your badge is to gain pretty guardian rank and you have to do it.

  You earn your badge by doing like a particularly dangerous mission.

  Well, it's, it's kind of ambiguous how the mission goes, but I figure if I do enough good, you know, the, the council will realize, sorry, I figure if I do enough good that the council is going to realize, you know, echo whiskey seven was just a blip.

  It was just a moment, but I deserve my badge. So eradicating brain space worms from black R [00:42:00] six i, I think it can get me there. I think it can get me to pretty guardian rank and they will overlook echo whiskey seven. Because here you say eradicating you're, no, not you, you, you do not do the eradicating yet.

  Just the eradicate the worms. W

  worms only please. Worms only. Take example.

  Mm-hmm.

  Your AI named a apparently says it may be of note to the crew that most black arts, normally a race that have spread well over the surface of their planet are migrating and concentrating their numbers on a single point on the planet surface.

  Sounds like where all the fun is happening.

  I What, what do you guys think? I think that this has the best place to, to land that I might be able to eradicate some worms.

  Hold on a minute there. How are you able to eradicate worms that are in their brains? Oh, I'll find a way. It's vitally important that we leave these people alive so they can speak of what happened here.

  Um, I'm kipp you're the doctor. Have you [00:43:00] seen brain worms before?

  I have.

  How, how, how did that go?

  Well, manually extracting each one is probably not the easiest way. There might be a tool we could develop, but it would take time.

  Uh, I knew it Kipp I knew we could count on you.

  Do we? We don't have time.

  Wait, you said you need time to develop it.

  I thought you said you had it.

  No, I said it would take time.

  Oh, sorry. I was lost in your eyes. I lost track of what you were saying. Ah,

  gimme those sunglasses.

  Has anyone in the crew ever dealt with alien brain worms before? Outside of like the surgical theater, I've shot nearly everything in the universe at this point.

  So when you dealt with alien brain worms before, what, what happened? How did you shoot them?

  Whoever was being infested by them, I shot them and the rooms worms were then eradicated. It was very effective.

  So genocide, essentially? Yep.

  You say genocide And I say it was, you know, [00:44:00] something was pushed too quickly from staging into production.

  We're working on it.

  I'm sorry to interrupt crew, but a vessel is approaching us. It is being pursued by another vessel in close pursuit to say the word twice. I'll bring it up on screen and you see that several hundred miles away, but you're zoomed in quite a bit. Uh, is a shuttle being chased by a fighter craft that looks very like balcony being chased, like the one in the back.

  It has like big broad wings and a big beak on the front. And the shuttle is more like a standard pill, like an oblong pill with wings and it's dodging and coming straight for you and trying to avoid the laser fire. But it's taking a few direct hits and whatever shields it has seem to be fizzling and going dark.

  Balcony is in Bird or Millennium Falcon?

  No, no, no. Actually looks like a falcon. Not just like a Frisbee,

  but we should hail that ship.

  One

  of

  them. Are there any markings that anyone can make out on the, [00:45:00] on the ship being pursued? The ship being pursued? Uh, when you zoom in on the side of it, it says laggard trading, LLCA, uh, David Company.

  Oh my

  God. Well we're here to help the laggard. So I say we interviewed and save that poor soul.

  Maybe we can even give them the delivery and have them deliver it.

  Press I, I don't quite know the capabilities of this vessel. Um, uh, well you are

  acting Captain

  w other weapons.

  Let me beep boop and see if I can find a weapon system.

  Yeah, there are weapons. You're not a fighter craft, so you don't get an extra plus 1D, but you do have weapons.

  We have what I like to call the drive by option. I roll down the window and chew out the window.

  Just strap you to the top

  neon. Can you hail that ship?

  I, I can make an attempt. Can I call? I'm calling the ship.

  And on the screen [00:46:00] another blear appears with his forehead, ri ri ridges. And he has a big wound on his forehead and he is bleeding and his sparks flying up all around him. And he is, he's like, everything's shaking around him as he takes repeated fire.

  And he says, come in, come and ship at the distance. I need you. Yes. This is the raptor. How can we help you? I wait a minute. Is that neon serenity?

  This is neon serenity.

  Neon serenity. Oh, Dio mio mio. Dio, whatever. Neo Dio.

  God, my, uh, they speak Italian on this planet. Uh, MO Dio. I've heard of you. I, I'm, I recognize you by the glorious number of badges you have across your sash.

  Thank you.

  He shakes as another bout of laser fire crashes into his croft. Uh, well, Ms. Serenity, I, I need some help. Can please, please,

  what, what do you need help with?

  That's what I'm here for.

  My craft is about to explode. [00:47:00] Bring me upon your ship and protect me from these traitors behind me. Well, who are they? Brain worms. They started infesting my civilization a few months ago, and they've spread like wildfire. I was finally able to get on a ship and escape. 'cause I saw that you were out here and I could make my way to you.

  My name is Professor Trevor. I'm a. Ancient alien ologist. The professor Trevor,

  the professor Trevor.

  I'm afraid my reputation may proceed. Me. Yes, I am the professor Trevor. Uh, not necessarily famous for aliens ology. Uh, but yeah, I'm on that. I'm on that one TV show. Yeah.

  Yeah. You're an ancient astronaut thees.

  That's true. I am. I am. But he shakes in like another party goes. Well, I'm really happy to run into fans and I'd be happy to sign all of your body parts if you'd please let me on your ship and protect me from these brain worms.

  Of course. If you need help, we're here to save the day.

  Thank you so much. And he turns off his [00:48:00] vid screen and you see him veer off a little bit to try to like expose the broad side of the fighter that's following him.

  So you guys are currently cloaked, so you're invisible to the naked eye and most sensors. Nice. What would you like to do? I

  mean, IW just start blasting that thing as soon as it goes by.

  I do like to blast things. Oh, I'm sorry. You wouldn't have been cloaked to begin with. You're, are you gonna cloak yourselves now?

  Yeah.

  Okay. Can we shoot while remaining cloaked?

  Um, that's a good question. Of course we can. Yeah. It's a high tech CLO device. That's true. I'm gonna say you can, but it then de cloaks you. Feels like a sneak attack. Classic invisibility. Exactly. It's like invisibility. Yeah. Yeah. 3.5 invisibility.

  Hey, activate the cloaking device.

  I'm picturing like, uh, Wayne's world and you guys just sort of fade from view. Are you sure we're coed?

  I can still see myself.

  Doesn't work that way. Hmm.

  I just wanna be sure.

  You go outside and check

  I [00:49:00] dangle out of the raptor. You have, wait, you actually do

  have a weapon system. I'm imagining that scene where Bender has like a Tommy gun and he, he's like rolls down the window and the spaceship.

  That's I, yeah. Our weapon system is, you literally just hold me by the ankles out of the ship.

  That space works.

  Okay. So you go and you tether yourself and you dangle out of the, the depressurized uh, particle bay. How's that? Or the airlock? That sounds right. Yeah. So you're hanging out with the airlock, with your laser pistol, and then you see the broad side of this fighter. Uh, and you have like a, it's not just like a laser pistol.

  You have like a giant laser array that is meant to be mounted on like a, like a land vehicle and you just hold that in zero G and shoot that. So it could be mounted on the ship, but you don't, you don't want it that way. You don't, you don't work that way. So you hang out of the air lock. That's not how we

  roll

  your giant laser gatling gun and go ahead and roll 2D six 1D six base, and then 1D six.

  Because you're a soldier, you're an expert and [00:50:00] you're doing a laser thing, so you just have to roll under your lasers. Okay, you have a laser of five. You rolled a four and a two. So you have two dice succeed. So you do it well. Good job is what it says.

  Say hello to

  my

  little

  friend. As you shoot your enormous gun, you shoot and you fire upon the fighter craft.

  It takes several hits and becomes disabled. You go straight through a shield. They had no idea you guys were there. The shields go down and it goes, uh, it deactivates and just starts listing to the side and drifting off. A direct

  hit.

  The Shadowcraft turns around and comes back towards you and makes its way to the airlock.

  So it connects up to the airlock where w currently is, and with a his of air professor Trevor steps upon the Raptor. Oh, uh, hello Android.

  Uh, it's Professor

  Trevor.

  It's Professor Trevor. It's Professor Trevor.

  Please sign my chest. Please sign my chest. He kind of strikes a little bit of a pose [00:51:00] that you remember from the soap opera that he was in, and he says, of course, I'll sign your chest, little Android.

  And he, uh, takes out a marker that he has on him.

  He just always has it.

  Another marker falls out of his pocket and he like scrambles and picks it up. And he signs a professor. And then in quotes, the big one, uh, Blackson, no, wait, what's his last name? Ancient Space. He's an ancient space and his last name is Black Guardian.

  Everyone from Blackguards, last name is Black Guardian.

  Yeah. It means like, but everyone calls him Blear thick.

  Everyone calls him the big one. Yeah. 'cause out of the two Trevors on the show was the larger, he was a smaller Trevor, and it was ironic. Yeah, it was a, it was an ironic nickname. Yeah. Uh, so he signs your chest, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.

  And then he pats you on the back and he goes, well, where do you steer this boat from? Let's go meet the crew.

  Let's go. I'd love to hear more about why you were being shot at the big one. Zeta Zeta, the big one's on my chest. Ooh.

  I mean, [00:52:00] I, I could side in your chest.

  Debbie Pass if you want. Professor Trevor walks onto the bridge.

  He is, you know, about five and a half feet tall. He is, uh, a blear from Blear six. He is got, uh, a dark green, seaweed, kelp texture skin with lots of forehead and nose ridges, showing that he's an alien. And he has a wound on his forehead, which has started to like clot, but is still bleeding a little bit.

  And he holds a marker in hand. Uh oh. And he is wearing, uh, tan and white pants and shirt and no shoes. And he has, like, professor Trevor,

  you're wounded. And I, I run over to him with tricorder looking thing and I wiggle it around near his head and he goes, woo.

  He collapses into the captain's chair as if he was born for it.

  And he says, thanks, doctor. And he sits still while you get to work.

  Trevor, I think over here the doctor will have better access to you. Let's just move you to this chair here.

  I'm good. Thanks though. I appreciate it.

  So what do we got? He's fine here. [00:53:00] What do we got? I go sulk in the corner.

  Well, um, professor, professor Trevor, the big one.

  Ian, we have a, uh. You know, what was chasing you? Those brain worms there on unfortunately 85% of the population of your planet. And as you know, the intrepid explorers we are as we do our work to, um, we wanna figure this out. We wanna get the aliens out of the brains and save the planet.

  I would like that too.

  And it is such a huge honor to meet you, miss Serenity. I, I'm a huge fan. Oh, no, it's a huge honor to

  meet you. I don't even have my, my pretty guardian rank yet. And you're like the big one. Barbadian. You know, we all watch your TV show like all the time. Oh,

  thank you. Thank you. Well, I'm a big fan of yours.

  I've been following your career. In fact, I'm such a fan of the scouts and I mean, I've been, I've collected all of the cards and I actually have yours in, in triplicate. I've gotten three of [00:54:00] your cards. No random polls. I had to buy them and I happily bought all three of them.

  That's flattering

  from the beginning of your career to the middle of your career, to your new card that was just released a few months ago, or at least in our section of the galaxy.

  Got 'em all. I really enjoy how your outfits have evolved. I,

  I don't even have those yet. I, I don't have that one yet. Can I

  see it? I unfortunately don't have it on me. Okay. And, you know, with Flag R six under brain worm rule, I'm afraid I may never see them again.

  We'll save the planet from the brain worms and get the cards back because you know what?

  Corporate is really weird about showing us our cards. 'cause I think they want us to have to pull them too. And I wanna see that card. They don't really pay us very well. And I

  keep 'em in a safe deposit box in a bank uhhuh, along with my birth certificate and the teeth of my firstborn as is customary.

  It's, it's actually a weird thing I do. It's it's not normal.

  You never told me that you were on Loki coupon cards.

  Oh, [00:55:00] they're special, special positive scout cards. There's a special mini game they came up with. Um, no. There's neon Serenity Cards. Xenon Serenity cards. Xons, my sister. Um, but she ran into some ends.

  Yeah. Xenon with two Ns.

  We got Loup on every campaign. Now what is this a crossover episode? Oh, me, O dl

  He says, uh, well, I don't know what to do about it. Although my character in the soaps, uh, is very capable. I in fact am not a space firing adventurer. I'll help how I can, but I don't know what to do. I'm so humble.

  So, Dr. Trevor

  is a lie. I wouldn't say I'm a lie. Well, I'm an actor on a soap opera where I play Professor Trevor, which is also my name, and I am a professor in real life, but I don't do the run and gun [00:56:00] space adventure stuff.

  I'm just an ancient space artist. If you have any questions about ancient space biology, I'd be happy to answer them.

  Well, unless those alien brain worms are ancient, I don't think we have a need for you anymore. So let's just, where can we drop you off? Back on black. R six. Perfect. That's where we're headed anyway.

  Great. Um, actually, professor Trevor, um, all of the brain warms seem to be going to this one spot on the planet. Is there something weird about that? Like, you know, anything about what might be spec special about that spot?

  He looks at the, uh, the map on the screen and he says, oh, well, I guess I could have guessed that's an ancient space ruin.

  I actually was on my way to help investigate it after it had been discovered. But the alien space worms came out and started infecting everyone's brains, so I dunno why they'd be going there. I, I have had, I've, I've read some preliminary papers about this place. I know that it has some weird science and some old tech and, uh, I heard that there's some sort of temporal [00:57:00] anomaly going on there.

  Perhaps the brain worms are attracted to it. Oral anomaly.

  Fascinating. I'm oral anomaly,

  but if you're gonna save my people, which I beseech you to do, because there's literally no one else, and you are from the consortium, so you kind of have to, because we're part of the consortium, you land down there and we'll figure it out.

  Luckily, this thing has a great cloaking device.

  We should be able

  to land quite close. Yes. And then we can find out what these brain worms want, because I'm sure they just want something and we can help 'em get that. Help them move, move on out of these brains.

  Actually, I have one more question. First, what are these hypo pens for that we have you guys?

  Does anyone know?

  Oh, oh, you have a delivery of hypo pens?

  We do. That's what the consortium sent us with, but they also asked us to check out anything on the planet that we might wanna help with. You know? 'cause we're the good people Glove and justice.

  Well, I'll have your doctor tell you what

  they're for.

  He'd probably know better than me. Yes. I could tell you. Of course. These hypo pens are a sort of, uh, drug [00:58:00] that the black Ians use combat a chemical that exists in their atmosphere that infects their breathing passages and inflames their esophagus makes it difficult for them. So they take these to reduce the symptoms.

  And what your doctors being too polite to tell you is that when we don't take those, when we run dry, not only is it little, it's a little difficult to breathe, but we get insanely horny. You don't want to see it. The whole economy shuts down. So thanks to the consortium, you help keep us civilized. That

  sounds like something

  my,

  for my anthropology badge.

  How are you gonna get your badge? Just hearing about it or visiting? Observe the mating ritual.

  No interviews. It's, I We could do interviews. Oh my gosh. Participate

  in local customs. Well, we, we were starting to run dry down there. We're on half rations on the hypo pens. [00:59:00] So glad you're showing up.

  I'm sure those brain warms are keeping everything in order.

  They don't look like they're up for shagging. I wouldn't

  know. I don't have a brain warm. I, I use the thing that I'm using to scan his head to scan, if that is actually true. Oh, because he said he doesn't have a brain worm and he has a head wound. I was already booping at it. That's true. It's true. He does have a brain worm.

  My face goes pale. I look around the room. 'cause I don't wanna call out the legendary Professor Trevor. I step back, uh, over near w well, actually, according to this, you do. And then the music goes, what are you trying to say, doctor? Only what it says here on the readout. Brain worm times one. Crunch the numbers again.

  I don't gut no brain worms. I look down at it again. Brain worm one. Crunch it again.

  Listen, I don't gut no brain worms. Okay. Any who, what? Someone with a brain worm. Brain worm would say brain. But that's what [01:00:00] someone without a brain worm would say too. Listen, listen. Just put me somewhere quiet and then let's go to the place I indicated and everything will be fine

  when we go where a brain worm wants us to go.

  Let me talk to the brain worm.

  Fine. I got a brain worm. I am the brain worm. What do you want? I don't, I said, oh,

  you're the brain worm and Professor Trevor, the big one. Barbadian.

  I'm both. I I am. Okay. And my people call me slip slap. I'm a brain worm. And, uh, yeah. I'm inside Professor Trevor, I kind of locked out.

  He is kind of a cool guy. And just to let you know, you destroyed a fighter craft with non brainin worm people in it. Ah, dang it. You got us.

  I think you're a liar.

  I was, but now I'm coming clean 'cause I'm slips slap the brain worm. He, he does have a brain worm. Or I guess he is a brain worm now. He is a brain worm.

  I am. Well, yes. I'm a

  brain worm controlling a meat. Popsicle, tell us how to get your species out of the people on black. Our six.

  Uh,

  no, I don't wanna, I had a feeling you'd say that. What? What do you want? Slip, [01:01:00] slap.

  Well. I kind of, I kind of wanna be a star. I like the, uh, I like the attention you're giving me as Professor Trevor.

  It feels good. It feels validating. I like that you laughed at my jokes, even though I'm pretty sure they weren't that funny

  season of ancient aliens. Did you take over Dr. Trevor? Was it season three, the,

  the gas that would

  explain

  some stuff?

  No, no, no, no. Totally only been inside of him for a month at most.

  Wow. It was really just the writing.

  Yeah. It's not good. I caught up on his, uh, body of work. Not impressive, but I can turn it all around. I can be Professor Trevor. Now,

  how would you want to succeed as anyone but you slip, slap. You must have your own skills, your own talents.

  Yes, I could be an actor. I'm in complete control.

  And you believed me. You believed my acting.

  What I'm saying is it wouldn't be slip slap. That would be famous. It would be Trevor. Don't you want to be famous as slips [01:02:00] slapp?

  I'll be, I'll continue on as Trevor until sentiments toward the alien brain Worm culture warms up a little bit, and then I'll announce my emergence as slips slapp.

  But perhaps now, perhaps you could be the star that the brain worms need. Here's the thing, brain worms, we don't stick together. We're kind of all working towards the same goal right now, but I think I found myself a new goal. What's everyone else's goal? Well, I came on this ship to like trick you. Uh, you know, and it's, I'm such a good actor, it actually worked out pretty well.

  But y'all lavished me with attention and laughed at my jokes. And now I kind of feel like maybe I'm one of the crew and I could be a famous guy. So, uh, that's, that's what I want to do now and fuck the brain worms. So that's what I'm gonna do now. So, but

  what about the real professor Trevor?

  Yeah. No, he's gonna be controlled by me from that on.

  That's part of it. He's Oh, he's, yeah, he's really unhappy. He's saying some stuff. You wanna know what he is saying? You can hear him? Oh yeah, we're talking right now.

  Hell, I said hi.

  He can hear you. He can hear you. He can hear you. We'll [01:03:00] get you out of there, professor. Yeah, he says hi.

  I don't know if I can let you take over the body of the big one, Dr.

  Trevor Arian.

  Oh, okay. Well, he says hi. And, uh, here's the thing. I'll make you a deal. You can refuse it if you want, I guess, but you can't, you can't refuse. It's such a good deal. I will show you how to defeat my species on this planet. We're on hundreds of planets anyway. We don't need this one. And, you know, all that good stuff.

  You let me keep this one body and then just leave me on black R six and I'll keep starring in the soaps and, uh, I'll keep being a space ologist. And, uh, yeah, you get to defeat the alien space. Worms be a big hero. I get to keep being famous.

  Must there be defeat? Why can't both species live in harmony?

  What do the brain

  worms want? Well, I will tell you what they want, but you have to agree to this deal first. I'm not gonna help you until you agree to let me stay. Insider, professor, Trevor, star, the soaps, sign, boobs, all that good stuff. I love it.

  I like buying. Of course. We just need to [01:04:00] save these people so everybody knows about it.

  Exactly. Take, take

  this meat body. I've, I'm hearing some Felix in there. Now take this meat body. This meat body. It's only a human.

  I will not allow you to take away what is essentially Professor Trevor's life. Yeah. Well,

  Taylor Serenity, do you think this would be okay?

  No. I agree with Kip. We can not let Professor Trevor, the big one brought GA and the original one die.

  We can figure this out. We can save everyone.

  Okay. I got a different deal for you. Different deal. Different deal. Different deal. Different day. It's gonna be a different now. Okay. I stay in this body for now. Help you defeat everything, right?

  Mm-hmm.

  Then we find, we find me a new body that you guys aren't quite so attached to that is like famous.

  I think that's fair. I mean it, I'm actually okay with that. Yeah. In negotiation, there must be sacrifice.

  Yeah. Like we all love Professor Trevor. Let's just find some other, well, I, there's another not, I'm sure there's at least one jerk that we can replace. There's other people on the same soap [01:05:00] just saying.

  They're bringing new characters on all of the time. You might be able to be slips slap

  star. Yeah, I could

  be slip slap

  of ancient aliens.

  Oh, I see that. That might just be what that soap needs is the infusion of a new species. Okay. Okay. We would watch that

  season slip slap, featuring an ancient alien slip slap.

  Mm-hmm.

  Does sound very interesting. Okay. I'm gonna need the envoy who is doing most of the talking for this particular branch of conversation. Roll to persuade. And you can go ahead and roll 2D six 'cause you're an expert and you're rolling feelings.

  Oh, would you consider that? Possibly we were helping?

  Uh, yes, I would. Yay. I will allow one of you to make a helping role. Yeah. And that person is going to be w because w said like the last two things.

  I make a, uh, gesture that looks very slightly like, uh, a, [01:06:00] uh, a, let's just say a threatening gesture. Um, as in I will space this man if he does not tell us everything he knows.

  Okay. So this is a feelings role for you because you're intimidating.

  A role of six. Or do I not just, I think I just boost him one. Or do I need to roll? You need to roll. Wendy

  six. I rolled. Oh, you did it. Six. Yeah. You have to roll above your feelings and you needed a six. Boom, boom. Wow, dude. Okay. Awesome.

  You got a six. Very nice. Done. So one die succeeded to barely manage helping him. So, uh, z Zeta, go ahead and roll three dice. I will. Catherine Zeta. Stella baby. He rolls beneath lasers

  three decent.

  Okay, so my feelings are A two. I rolled a one, A two and a three. So I got laser feelings.

  Laser feelings.

  Okay.

  You're gonna get a special insight into what's going on and then it'll allow you to re-roll. 'cause you only have one success right now. Right? Okay. [01:07:00] So you have to ask one question. Mm-hmm. Take your time.

  Hmm.

  Yeah. Think

  harder is, is the, is the place slips up? Is trying to get us to go a trap? No. Okay. Okay.

  Um, all, I'm gonna roll again. Okay. Keep your 3D six in roll

  again. 3D six. It's a trap. Oh my God, that's so bad. I rolled my feelings again. A one, two, and five. So youe with one die. You wanna ask another question? I, I, I mean, does it keep going forever? It doesn't say it doesn't.

  Yeah. I can't see why not. If you don't have any more questions, you can at least re-roll.

  Yeah. Um, gosh, what questions? Um, I mean, I, I assume I'm not, I mean, I don't wanna ask like, big questions like what are this face forms trying to do? Unless that's something you want answer with. No, with

  this question, you can ask whatever you want. That's the point.

  Yeah.

  What's, what's, you know, it's supposed to be a question kind of like around the purpose of what you're doing.

  No.

  Yeah, yeah. Which is convincing

  him to Yeah. [01:08:00] Help

  you. And he's, he's already told us what he wants, what his, what his goal is, you know? Um, does, does Slip

  Slapp have a mate? Yes. Okay. Lips Slapp has a mate named Dippy do. Okay. And they, I mean, they argue, they argue like any couple does. Yep. But there's like a real undercurrent of love and understanding there.

  Yeah. All right. I got that vibe

  from, from him.

  That's good. Okay,

  so let's try this one more time. Please. Come on. I've got a two feelings. I just should be easier. Okay. I succeeded on two. Nice.

  Okay. So I A three. A three in one. So you do it well. So. Good job. What, what do you, so you're trying to convince him, so why don't you go ahead and just repeat.

  Yeah. And can you remind me of his, his partner's name real quick?

  Dippy Do

  dippy Do dippy do. Thank you. Did you make a note of that, Steph? Of course you did. You're outta

  control.

  Trying to get back to where we were. Flip slap as we talked about, I think you could succeed as yourself. Perhaps you, and you must have a partner. I, I, I felt the connection with you now. I think dippy dab your, your partner, right? [01:09:00] No dippy. Do dippy. Dobb. Excuse me. It's, it's a different, you just

  heard it from staff.

  It's a different language. I get, I get confused.

  Oh, the accent Dippin threw me

  off. Yeah. Yeah. Dippy do. You could build a life with her here. You could have a family. We're both asexual. My apologies. You could build a life with them here.

  Yeah. Yeah, that's true. You know what? I'll help you under the, with a promise that I get to get into a new body and, uh, be a little famous.

  And, uh, whatever body dibby DOB is in right now, which is a, a man named David, uh, gets to keep David.

  Yeah. I've never met a David that deserves his own body, so that's fine.

  That's what I said. When she took that, when they took that one, I was like, yeah, there's so many David's down there. It's stupid. I knew that's why you didn't want us take that name.

  The whole point is just David's, it's just all David's. It's like, yeah. It's frankly ridiculous.

  Blackard just means David in their native. [01:10:00] They're

  all David of David. Well, why don't you tell us what's going on then, because that promise my friend is secured.

  Okay. There's a temporal anomaly down on that ancient space ruin, uh, US alien brain worms or as we just call ourselves.

  Brain worms,

  domestic brain worms,

  right? We're just normal brain worms to ourselves. But, uh, to you, alien brain worm. Uh, we're not from here. We're from the distant future when Blear six is actually controlled by us, you see the blears, as you know, them die off and another species rises up that we form a symbiosis with.

  And, uh, yeah, everything's going great. Until there was a plague, they started dying off in droves. Thankfully, we had discovered a temporal anomaly in these ancient space ruins even more ancient in the future, if you can believe it, you know, because it's, it's in the future. They're even older, right? I suppose

  that makes sense.

  Yeah, it's like crazy. So like, it's like it's nuts. So, uh, we used that thing to send [01:11:00] ourselves back in time because we knew that there was a weird lizard race here before and, uh, yeah, big bang, boom. Our species survives. Unfortunately, they weren't compatible with us in such a way that it would be like a symbiotic relationship.

  So they're gonna have to give up their agency so that we can survive. That's, that was the plan. Now I don't really give a shit. Like there's these like TV things and like I can be like really respected and stuff just for like making pretend. So I wanna do that instead. It's good to have goals. Yeah. Me and Dibby Dobb are gonna do that.

  I wouldn't count on somebody named David could role in show business. Oh yeah. Maybe they'll need to take her on a different body. That's, that's the deal. I'm gonna get a different body. And Dvy do is gonna get a different body too. But we get to choose the bodies. But neither, neither. But we

  get to veto them.

  No, no, no. You already said no. Professor Trevor. That's already, then you can't just go and pick my mother. Your mother's not on black. R six. I guess maybe it's just an example.

  We'll find you some bodies, some options. Okay. We're not

  You choose. You choose [01:12:00] options. Yeah. And then we'll choose from those we're, we'll

  provide options,

  but they all have to be famous.

  They all have to be famous.

  They'll have famous features.

  What does that mean?

  Yes, of course they're famous. I made, I made a promise. Okay. And Zeta Stellar keeps his promises.

  Thank you Zeta.

  And I wink.

  Okay. So if you're gonna stop the quote unquote alien brain worms, you're gonna go down to the ancient space ruin.

  You're gonna want to go at nighttime, no daytime. 'cause that's when we're sleeping. So go at daytime, we'll all be asleep. Break into the ancient space ruins. We actually have a lot of trouble staying awake in the daytime, so there won't be any guards or anything. You can just walk right in. Uh, I'm sure there's some security they've been setting up there.

  I'm not really privy to that. Uh, go right in. And you need to close the temporal anomaly, but you need to go to the other side of the temporal anomaly first to destroy that generator. Then you can come back through and destroy the rest of it from this side. Otherwise, they're just gonna reopen it in the future.

  So you gotta destroy it in the future, then destroy it in the past. It all makes sense. Time [01:13:00] travel makes sense.

  And how do we get the brain worms out of the hosts that they're in now, I wonder?

  Mm-hmm. Uh, that's like the easiest part. So you definitely wanna stop them from coming in because if you just take the brain worms out, they're just gonna keep coming in and reinfecting.

  That's not gonna be what you want. So stop them from coming in to get them out of the host. It's like super easy. I almost don't want to tell you because then you might use it on me. Like tell us. I promise. But you've already, I promise you won't. Do you wait, did you say I promise, or did you say I promise.

  I said I promise. Okay. Good God, man. Queen out your ears. Heard promise. I heard, I heard promise too. Anyone

  else hear,

  promise that? Okay. You guys are saying P now for sure. Right. So I'll tell you because we've already made a deal. Deal. Of course, me and Debbie job are gonna be far away from this. It's a specific frequency that can be made.

  Well, it's actually in a lot of music, so it's, it's pretty annoying. Uh, 'cause whenever we hear like specific songs, we have to like vacate the head. 'cause we just can't turn off the ears of the host. So we have to, it's just escape. It's a complete blind panic. We had to get outta there. [01:14:00] So yeah, it's like a certain pitch.

  And it's also like a certain rhythm, you know,

  Uhhuh?

  Mm-hmm. Yeah. So like, I'll say some lyrics just so you guys know what's what, what I'm talking about. But please don't sing it. Please don't sing it. Okay?

  Okay. It, it needs, it can just be sung. It doesn't need the backing music.

  Yeah. So I'll just tell you the lyrics and then you're not gonna use it right now.

  I don't trust you guys. I'll tell you the lyrics later 'cause you're definitely gonna try to get me outta this body. What? Let's go do the first, let's go do the first part and then I'll tell you the lyrics. Okay? And I'll make sure I'm far away.

  You're a canny negotiator. Zips up. If you ever want to change careers, I could use that.

  My name is Flip Slap

  you. You're so racist. Yeah, just 'cause the guy's an alien brain worm. His name must be zips out. My partner's name is not dab. It's db Do and my name is not Flipp. Flip flop. It's Slip, slap,

  flip, slap. When you send us the lyrics, maybe write them down and put your name in there and then we won't forget.

  Okay.

  Never gonna slip. You slap. No, stop. [01:15:00] Wait. That's not it. That wasn't it. That, that was weirdly close to the tune, but that wasn't it. So let's just, let's just refrain from singing while slip slaps on board

  and we'll figure this out later. Oh, I would

  hate to go on a road trip with this guy.

  He only wants to listen to like white noise. Uh, well, it's all just the corn soundtrack with this guy. Hey, wait a minute. It's so annoying. Not bad. So I

  just, I just turn and point dramatically at the view screen and I say, then let's get down there.

  Like, I'm waiting for somebody to do it.

  We have a, uh, we have like a dissolve, you know, is

  nice dissolve, nice,

  dissolve, uh, and it's like, you know, it's like a screen wipe. Can we do, can we do a star wipe? Yeah. Star wipe, whoop. And it's like the star's like in the middle of the screen and it comes out like rotating wha and reveals the scene on the other side, which is a bright sun, just like in the baseball scene.

  And a camera pans down to W's pulling a giant comb across the desert.

  Yeah. [01:16:00]

  It pans down to a desert. It actually does it, it pans down to a, uh, you know, an arid area that you could classify as a desert, but it's not like a sandy desert. There's short scrub grass all over the place and there is like, you know, a river nearby, uh, but definitely an extremely arid landscape.

  Bright, clear green sky, not a cloud in the sky. Uh, the single, very large sun is also in the sky. It's probably like twice as large as soul earth, sun. And you land about a half click away from the alien space ruins. So these only rise up about two stories and they don't look like normal buildings. They're not like something recognizable like Mesopotamian architecture or anything like that.

  Instead it looks like a bunch of futuristic pills that are standing vertical, like a bunch of pills just completely standing up vertically. 6, 7, 8 of 'em of varying heights. Going up to two stories. And you can see there's a large pit dug around them, [01:17:00] probably because they've been buried over time all around the pit.

  You can see that there are newer looking shiny rods that go up about 10 feet and have silver orbs on top. Some of the orbs are open and inside there is a blue crystal shooting a laser up into the sky. Only some of them. And then they like pulse and they close and a different one will open and shoot like a blue laser up and they seem to be taking turns to do that.

  What would you like to do, actually, first of all, has anyone ever encountered these blue lasers before in their career?

  Neon. You're an explorer. You've seen a lot of things.

  I've seen a lot of things and I've seen a lot of flashing lights and lasers. You know, some of my coworkers, like we even gets involved in their costume changes.

  Um, but given the connection to the brain worms and the temporal anomaly that we're facing here, I'm not sure, but I think we can find out more if we interfere with it.

  Okay, so you're about a half click away from it. Are you guys moving straight up? Oh, and uh, that [01:18:00] question, but also slip, slap, uh, are you taking him with you or is he staying on the ship?

  Oh, he's gotta come too, right? Yeah. He takes a step out and he is just like, guys, guys, I'm so tired. Like it's daytime. Can I sleep? You just come get me when you're done.

  You're pulling in all day or today slip slapp.

  Uh, can I have a one of those hype hypo needle things? This body's feeling horny. Yes. Like to having

  less horny.

  I inject it into him and it makes it

  down. Yeah. And he goes, oh, I can breathe easier and I'm not as horny. Great.

  Actually, while we're on it, I'm gonna head back into the ship and pack a backpack full of these things.

  That's a really good idea. In case you meet up with any, yeah. You might run into some horny blears that have been affected by alien brain worms.

  Let's hope not. He said smiling, slapping, everyone's on the back. Let's hope we don't run into that

  jabs with elbow,

  wink, wink, nudge, nudge. You know what I mean? Alien space worms. Okay, so you're about a half foot away [01:19:00] and you begin to make your way to, uh, the ancient space ruin. And as you do that slip, slap says, and just to let you know, I do, I can see everything in Professor Trevor's.

  So I actually am an expert in ancient space biology, so I can't answer your questions. I can help

  you know about the beams.

  No, no, that's, that's something newer obviously. Look how new it looks. That was a stupid question. Ouch.

  That wasn't a stupid question. There are no stupid questions.

  Sorry. That was Professor Trevor.

  He said that and I just repeated it.

  Professor Trevor said that.

  Yeah. I'm a nice brain worm. That was all Professor Trevor. The guy's an asshole.

  Oh, that's

  earlier When you said hi to him, I told you he said hi back. He didn't say hi back. No, you're lying. Was he lying

  about the Loki coupon cards too?

  Uh, no.

  He collects those. He's, he's pathetic.

  Oh.

  Alright

  guy's. A real loser.

  That, that's fine. I, I hope that, um, [01:20:00] if I was gonna ask him to trade with me, um,

  yeah, maybe we should just get going.

  Yeah, yeah. Let's get going.

  I, I whisper to neon as we're leaving. I don't like slip Slap as much as Professor Trevor.

  I think I like Professor Trevor more too.

  Just be clear, no one has met Professor Trevor.

  Yeah. But in my mind he's really cool.

  That's 'cause that's what everyone thinks about, famous people.

  Yeah. I have a parasocial relationship with him and he is my bestie. Oh, good word. Parasocial.

  Look, his name on the show is Professor Trevor. This is Professor Trevor.

  That's his name in real life too.

  Yeah.

  So he's the character on the show.

  Yeah, yeah. Shas are real life.

  Yeah,

  exactly.

  We know Professor Trevor, we watch him on TV like for an hour a day.

  They're not allowed to put it on TV if it's not real. Guys, guys, guys, everyone pile into the train. It's time to railroad you. Let's go do everyone objective.

  Everyone climbs into the back of the train. Checka, checka, checka, checka, ch. And you walk the half [01:21:00] mile, half a click, half a kilometer to this area. So when you get to it, you see it's like a big pit. It's huge. And there's these sunken hill buildings that go up 5, 6, 7 stories, but they only crest out of the sand.

  One or two stories. Some of them don't even crest out at all. And down below you can see there's like, not an entire civilization. It's a pretty small area, like a half a kilometer square, probably even a little less. But there are streets and what looks like, you know, ancient alien street lights. And you know, these buildings have entrances and there's different objects, inus everywhere.

  And the hole going downwards is about, uh, a hundred feet. And someone has brought in and built, uh, plastic stairs, molded them into the side of the, the hill going down. No brain worms, no lag arts anywhere to be seen except for the one you're traveling with.

  Which I would like to note I am constantly looking at, I might be walking in front of him, but my head is [01:22:00] swiveled around like an owl, and I am staring at him intently, mostly because it's Dr.

  Trevor, but also because he did insult sailor serenity. Oh,

  he smiles uneasy at you. Good. So what would you like to do? You're at the top of these plastic stairs.

  What does our intre implore think?

  It doesn't look very alien. Ancient. Very ancient. Sorry, aliens. No, it's, it's fine. I am here to see all facets of the universe.

  It's actually quite fascinating. I've seen many ancient alien relics, but none plastic stairs.

  As you're saying that you see a blear, uh, two blears exit out of a building and start to walk down the street. They hold pulse rifles in their clawed hands.

  I thought you said they couldn't come out at daytime.

  I didn't say they couldn't. I'm just saying they're gonna be really sleepy and they're not likely to, it's really difficult to stay awake. They're just nocturnal. Wait, unless they have some hypos, just like you gave to me, because I [01:23:00] felt very alert after that. Well, I'm starting to get tired again. Wait, the horniness, it's keeping them awake.

  So that's backwards. This

  planet has so many problems.

  I tell you, I, I, I can relate. It keeps me up at night too. I mean, you try sharing a bunk with Kip

  because he makes you so horny. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

  Anyway,

  you're Kip, right?

  Yes.

  Yeah. Have you seen him? Yeah, I see it. I mean, I've been hypo, so I'm not like, when I see it, I see it.

  Can we talk about something else camp, is it? No,

  I think we can send him Zeta. He can handle it single handedly.

  Well, of course I'll just go in and convince them I'm one of them and then Big bang, boom, hypo them

  up and we'll be good to go. When you kind of like do that in a sing song, voice w slip flops, like, ah, can we please not sing?

  I don't think you're gonna randomly do the do it, but just please don't sing.

  Well, we're gonna do this. We've gotta hurry.

  It's at, at some point. [01:24:00] Uh, what if I just modulated through all frequency of tones? Just do like a ri just gonna bru melody. Exactly. Literally just, just all the way up and down. See what happens.

  Well, if it's a scale, if it's a simple scale, this guy's totally screwed. Yeah. If they're horny and that's keeping them up, I don't know what you're gonna do. There could be plenty of quote unquote alien brain worms down there.

  Well, I have my backpack full of hypos. You could said these things could be rationed.

  Yeah. Uh, I'm looking into Professor Trevor's sorted brain here. Yeah. Long nights doing half a hype. Uh, half a hypo. Just enough to take the edge off. Just enough to get to sleep.

  This planet is so interesting.

  Let's each take a few.

  Yeah, let's take, okay, everyone, take a few. Let's go take these guys out. All I brought with me was this little beam pistol, so if we could get their rifles too, that would be even better protection.

  Let's just stun them and use the hypos.

  [01:25:00] That is a also a smart idea.

  You could also hide in a corner and then give them a Tallahassee handshake.

  Okay, well, what do you guys wanna do? These guys on the ground level are moving away from you, so their back is to you. Currently they're about a hundred feet down, you know, but we have to go down this like, semi exposed staircase.

  Let's stun them. I vote stunning.

  W would you do the honors?

  Do we want to let them, uh, come towards us further or should I just start a shooting?

  Well, I think they're getting away.

  Start shooting.

  Yeah. You're like 150 feet away from them, so you're pretty far. You may even need to descend the stairs a bit. Yeah, you guys will have to get within like 20, 30 feet to use your stu.

  Let's, let's get going. Can we sneak it?

  Let's, yep. Yes. So I will allow, not everyone needs to roll, sneak, uh, I think one person will kind of decide like we go now and then that that will be your sneak role.

  So decide who is making that call.

  I am.

  Okay.

  Sorry. That makes sense. I am, I'm [01:26:00] intrepid.

  Yep. I agree. You are intrepid.

  Mm-hmm.

  Uh, you know, I'm gonna look up the exact definition of intrepid,

  fearless, adventurous.

  Yeah. The one who charges board at the beginning of everything. Intrepid definition. Uh, fearless, adventurous, but often used for rhetorical or humorous effect.

  So I'm just saying.

  Mm-hmm.

  Are you rhetorically intrepid?

  I'm rhetorically intrepid. I say as I rush, start shuffling towards these guys saying, okay,

  so wait a minute. So I need, come with me. You need to roll two dice. Actually go ahead and roll three dice. 'cause you're prepared. You take time. You see how they're moving.

  You're looking for an opening. So roll 3D six.

  Um, and I'm just gonna preface that I choose to, uh, sand walk my way towards them and I hope that walk

  roll 2D six. No, nevermind. That w could follow in my footsteps. You're doing that weird Crip walk being like, I'm being sneaky.

  Um, this is something I learned on Araki, like, [01:27:00] have you not gone through the universe?

  Uh,

  a five and a six. Oh boy.

  Well, you're trying to do lasers here.

  Yeah. Yeah. So that, that was bad guys. That was real bad. I failed. But progress was made.

  And your number is a two or a three? Two. It's

  a three. It's a three.

  Okay. So you roll 2D six, you don't roll low enough and you don't roll a three. So none of your dice succeeds.

  So something goes wrong and it gets worse. So you say, we go now and you guys pitter-patter your way down the steps as quickly as you can. When you get to the bottom, just as you're getting around that last bend in the stairs and you have some like, you know, crates in front of you and some like water barrels and stuff like that from out of the door in front of you where the two original guys came out.

  Another guy comes out and he sees you and you see him and it's an awkward moment where you're just kind of staring at each other. Blast him.

  I blast him. Oh my God. [01:28:00]

  He tries to blast you back.

  I stunned. I stunned.

  Okay. You stunned. And he tries to blast you back with a, uh, phaser pistol or with a, yeah, a phaser rifle.

  So, go ahead. So we're gonna do a quick draw contest. Okay. So roll 1D six for your lasers. Jesus Christ was because you're not prepared and you're not expert. I expert too intrepid. If you succeed on your lasers, then you win the, the quick draw and you shoot him first. Oh

  shit, what do we like to see? Oh my

  God.

  Oh wow. You succeed.

  You barely manage, manage it. But the GM infl a complication, so you guys kinda like stall and then it like blast him. So you pull out your variable beam phase pistol. Mm-hmm. Set the stu and you shoot out stun ray just like in a new hope. It's like a big circle that comes out and trashes into him.

  As that happens, he yells out, brain worms help and he falls unconscious. Inject him. Oh, you run up to inject him. As you do that, you [01:29:00] see that he's actually not stunned. He's fallen over and he is very groggy, but he's fiercely struggling against it. And he is saying he like, as you get closer, he starts like kind of grasping at your feet and he is like, uh,

  uh,

  can I scan him with my tri-quarter?

  Yeah. Yeah.

  Woo, woo, woo. Headquarter says he's just so hordy the tri-quarter

  comes back with alarming levels of horniness.

  Yeah, he's he's getting a hypo

  God, you, you take out the hypo and he grabs your wrist and he says, do it.

  And I grab his arm and then I just inject it into his.

  Oh, thank you. Thank you.

  Sleep now friend. And he falls unconscious friend. He's not in control. He's not, he's just so horny. They're all 13-year-old boys. Basically.

  I am going to write a letter to the consortium about this.

  You're like, I'm gonna write a letter to the GM about this episode. This is what happens when I don't preplan.

  So the plot is everyone's horny and go fanfiction.net is [01:30:00] gonna love to read this one. fanfiction.net

  plan. Explicit fanfic like in 2005 or something.

  What's the new one that I should say instead? A oh three. A oh three. Yeah. A oh three. Isn't that the AO three? Isn't she like O three? Isn't she a house representative?

  Oh my God. I was doing a

  Portland,

  I was doing a political thing. So has anyone ever encountered their characters, ever encountered a threat that is this horny? Yeah.

  I've only read about it in books.

  I'm interested to know why you said, yeah. Can you tell us about that adventure? Yeah.

  So there I was trying to negotiate the peace between these two corporations.

  They'd been just fighting over the same market and business for so long. It went to war as these things so often do. But come to find out that their main product that they were fighting over was a, a male, let's see, sexual enhancement medication. [01:31:00] And it not only improved performance, it enhanced libido.

  And during the final negotiations, one of the, uh, opposing sides dosed their counterparts with a high level of this drug. And so during this meeting, this, this one group just could not keep their hands off of each other and the whole group. Um, but in the end, it actually turned out for the better because, um, there was some tension that was released, some bonds that were formed.

  And well, at the end of that meeting,

  there was just one company. So like, I'm really sorry that I asked him guys. I didn't know that he was gonna have like a whole thing. Honestly.

  You know, when we talk about cr promoting love and justice throughout the universe, is that not but one form of it? It's

  the main form for me.

  For,

  yep. Zeta. For Zeta Stellar.

  I figured. So you're

  saying the scouts are like [01:32:00] promoting horniness across the universe?

  No, no. Say, say that either.

  Yeah. No, you're putting words in people's mouths. It's more like a middle ground. It's one form of many.

  Yes. Thank you.

  So is there a horny badge before you can reach Pretty guardian, right?

  No. No, there is not. No,

  no. So then it's not a very, it's not very inclusive to like black arts.

  We we're a very, like, you know, we don't, we don't have that in the scouts. No.

  If there was a horny badge, black arts would join, get that badge and then quit

  Black arts. I bother apparently already collecting our, our cards.

  So.

  Yeah. Well, professor Trevor does, so you have this unconscious black art in front of you, uh, obviously infected with a brain worm. He called out for brain worm backup. So what would you like to do?

  Uh, did those, those other two here, him call out. That's what I'm most worried about.

  They are outta sight.

  They're a couple hundred feet away and maybe even round a corner. So you have like this doorway in front of you and there's plenty of other like pill buildings around.

  Everyone remembers why we're here. Right?

  Close the [01:33:00] time portal

  to go through the time portal, destroy the generator, come back through, destroy the generator on this side, and then we think

  you reading your notes flip slap?

  No, no. I actually just remembered that one that time.

  That's good. I didn't remember all that. Flip

  slapp. Which way to the portal.

  Well, I've actually never been here before. I'm gonna slip slap you plus you slip, slap some of my forebearers came through. I was born on this planet. I'm a native, I'm a citizen.

  Wait, how old are you? Uh, like a month.

  That explains everything. What's,

  what's your species lifespan like? Kind of in like infinite. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Like I'll leave a body and go into another body and kind of just keep living.

  Anyway. W you are a tactical expert. What do you recommend we do here

  to slip into cover?

  But at this point, I am readying my phaser for anything that comes around the corner at us.

  I recommend that you guys scan for

  temporal anomalies.

  Good.

  Brilliant

  call. I'll take out my tri-quarter once more. Perhaps I can find the temporal [01:34:00] anomaly using this device. Boop, boop boop. Beep beep. Twist, twist, which deliver.

  So you take out

  your super sweet space, phone, camera, communicator, scanner thing with universal translator, and you scan the area. There are tachyon particles coming from the north, right? This thing I carry

  says there's tachyon particles that way from the north, right to the north, right? And what, what are ta tack on particles, my dear Mo?

  Don't call me that. Particles that are emitted when there's a temporal anomaly,

  ah, then we're on the right track. So you begin to sweep your super sweet space, foam camera, communicator, scanner thing with universal translator back and forth, and making your way towards the faint hint of a techon particle.

  Just the, the kiss, the slightest brush of a techon particle, and begin to make your way deeper into this ancient space ruin. And you arrive at an even deeper hole with a ring in it, in a platform. [01:35:00] It looks very Stargate and around the ring are multiple of those blue energy pylons, but they're all dormant.

  And there's also a control panel filled with an alien alphabet, alien symbols down there as you like, are kind of peeking over the crest of this, this rise, you see that there are three laggards.

  Well, what do we do? Three laggards there.

  Can we stab them with the hypos

  to get close? And that could be risky in their current state, or we use the power of

  love.

  Remember that story I told you

  fortunately,

  we could also use fake Dr. Trevor as a distraction.

  Oh, w yes.

  No, the power of love, I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna put myself in danger. But you guys can do whatever you want.

  What if they're your fans?

  They're fellow space like quote unquote alien brain worms.

  They're not my fans.

  No, they're black guardians. They're still black guardians just like you. They have knowledge [01:36:00] from their, from their hosts. They might also be fans of ancient aliens.

  Listen, uh, neon Serenity. Yep. The last thing I'm gonna do is go down there as an NPC and role play with myself. It's just not gonna happen.

  Oh yeah. Yeah. That makes sense.

  Alright, well three of us will be those guys. And you be this guy. I'd be happy

  to narrate a, uh, audio book for you at another time, but, uh, fine. So what do you guys wanna do?

  I want to go down there, convince them that I have a brain worm while the team sneaks up behind them and hypos them.

  Okay. I'll basically pretend to be one of them.

  Yeah, I'm ready. A hypo in each hand.

  So you step out from hiding and immediately, uh, one of them snaps a pulse rifle up to you. And you don't look like a black guardian. You don't look like a black art

  wave. J Hello. Uh, put your hands up. [01:37:00] My, my hands are up. I'm, I'm waving with both hands.

  Okay. Stop wave. No, don't wave, but, but I'm, I'm, uh, okay. I, I'm just, I'm just here. I'm just performing, uh, my, my inspection tour of this facility, looking for everything to be in order for us alien space worms,

  uh, quote

  alien.

  Wait, did he say alien space worms or quote unquote alien? No, no space worms because we're, we're alien, we're quote unquote alien brain worms.

  Which, what did he say? I, I Brain worms. I said brain worms. Yeah. I think he said brain worms. Yeah. I guess. Hey, why don't you get to keep your hands up, but why don't you get down here? I need you to come down here.

  Of course. I'm on my way, by the way. Great body, great bodies. You guys got there.

  Woo.

  Looking good.

  You see, you see like the guy holding the gun take like a sharp inhale. Yeah. When you say that, he's like,

  yeah,

  like you, you must have some fun with those puppies. You can see like his heart rate in his neck, like just racing.

  I walk down [01:38:00] into the area with him. I'm, I'm sitting at my desk holding my hands up over my head. You're not even

  the

  sexy one. I know. And yet you use your sexiest swagger to walk down there.

  Oh, I'm not, I'm not trying to be sexy. I'm just trying to in, in like, use my diploma diplomatic seals and get them grander.

  So you make your

  way to the bottom of this hill. Mm-hmm. This, and, uh, you're about five feet away from this guy with the, the gun. Mm-hmm. The other two guys come up and they're standing a little bit behind him, but all attention is on you. Right. And, um. One guy behind. Sorry. Let's do a woman. I'll do a woman's voice.

  That's always fun. A woman laggard behind the male laggard with a gun says, but you don't, you're not a What? What race are you? What species are you?

  I, I am a, hold on, let me ask the gentleman inside here. Um, a Ian. He's a Ian. Hmm. Interesting. Um, he was traveling here on, on a little holiday. I happen to nab a little exotic specimen.[01:39:00]

  Wait a minute, I don't know. This is confusing. I'm confused. What's your name? Flip flop. Slip Slap. Well, that is a name that is a common name for us. It's like R John. So that makes sense. David. It's like R David, David. Yeah. David. David. That's like R David. So that makes sense. Yeah, they're like nodding to each other.

  That's like our David. So that's good. And what's your hosts name? Uh, Zeta. Oh yeah. I thought an exotic

  name. Interesting.

  Myster.

  Mysterious.

  The third one speaks up. This one. We got a male, we got a female. This is a non, you know, this is a non-binary person, a non-binary black art. And they say, well, I don't think I fully believe you because you're not a black art.

  And we've only infected black arts. It's only been a month or so. So I don't know how there could be a different race. So we're gonna ask you a question. We're gonna give you the, the, we're gonna give you the, uh, future alien quote unquote alien brain warm test,

  quote

  unquote. So, of course, prepare [01:40:00] yourself as is standard in these situations.

  I'm well aware. So at, and you guys are all like walking around and getting into position, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

  We're using this opportunity to get in position to give them the, you pew with the, the drug.

  Okay? So the first question, if you are a quote unquote alien brain, you, you must already know what it is.

  It's a fill in the blank. Mm-hmm. Of course. And you, you have to give the right answer as a quote unquote alien brain. And we have three questions total proceed. When I am in a host body, and there is a jacuzzi party happening down the street at a rival's house, rival quote unquote alien brain worm. And you weren't invited, okay?

  And so like, everyone's there, all your friends are there, but you're not friends with this person. So you weren't invited. So you're like at your house and it's just down the street. It's like three houses down. You go to the party, right? So you're going to the party. So you go to the party, and with you, you bring a snack, and that snack is a.

  Before I answer, let me just say,

  Ooh, the way you asked that question was [01:41:00] divine. They just, your, your pronunciation and the way you hold yourself, you're so confident and self-assured with your questioning.

  Mm

  Oh. Just gimme a moment here and, oh, the jacuzzi, you say, well, am I it the attire that I have on as I'm attending, am I prepared to go with this Jacuzzi?

  You, you, how about you describe what you're wearing.

  Oh

  my God. Well,

  God

  get you in third timestamp here if you don't want to hear, oh, God, ritual. God,

  how close are these guys? With the hippos? So you'd start describing what you're wearing. Uh, meanwhile, you guys have circled around and so I need two different things. I need our envoy to roll 1D feelings. This is a helping roll because you're distracting them with your feelings.

  Yep. [01:42:00] For the laser roll of whoever's doing the sneaking and the hypo. So who's doing that on the other end?

  There's three of them and three of us. Right? Oh, so all three of you guys are going? Mm-hmm.

  Okay. So go ahead and roll your feelings.

  Yep, yep, yep. Uh, I, I matched it. Okay. So got la uh, I don't think I get laser feelings with a helping roll.

  Uh, it doesn't say you don't. Okay.

  Interesting.

  Like, you don't have to ask a question. I'll just let you re-roll. Um, oh, I was gonna ask

  what the right answer is. So you get the idea, like you kind of get the impression that the answer is a salty snack of some sort. It's

  uh,

  okay. I probably would've said that anyway.

  Yeah,

  me too. I'm like a salt addict, right? Oh, I just meant based on their current moods. Oh yeah, me too. I hate salt. I hate salt too. Uh, six.

  So I, I beat my role. Yeah, you beat it by far. Wow. Nice. So you, that's a helping role. So I need all three of you to roll lasers now, hold on. All of you are gonna get an extra 1D six for the helping role, but some of you may get additional [01:43:00] roles.

  So, Brian, sexy doctor, no additional role. Steph Intrepid Explorer. This is pretty daring, so I'm gonna give you a plus 1D

  sweet,

  uh, echo Whiskey seven Android soldier. You definitely get an extra one. D This is right in your wheelhouse as a combatant. Sneak it up on people and stabbing 'em with needles.

  Live for this.

  I've never seen someone swing their hips so diplomatically.

  So Echo Whiskey seven rolled six. Three. Three. And your number is a five, right? It is. So you'll, you'll succeed with a complication. It says, everyone's like DSA names in here. So I I'm, I wanna be like, Hailey, you rolled, uh, not Hailey Neon. Serenity got a one and a two and you have a three, right?

  Yep. You die succeeded.

  So Two Die Succeeded and Thorn AKA Kip Quasar got a five and a two, and your number is a four. So you succeeded on [01:44:00] one of them.

  Yeah.

  Yeah. And I'm sorry, I, I misspoke. Um, w you succeeded on two because you have to get below your laser's number. So as you're talking and describing what you're wearing and the salty snacks that you will bring, and you're like continuing to talk to, like they feel like they, it kind of seems like they wanna ask the next question, but they're also really wrapped up in like how sexy this party is.

  And you guys are almost like starting a, like a TT Rrp G session about this thing. They're like, yeah. And if we were people at the party, I'd be playing like an org and like, I'd be like, you know, a, a box of lizard calls. We'd be a bunch of, we'd be bunch of murder hobos at this party. Yeah. Everyone dies of horniness.

  Everyone at the party takes out D and so Ws sneaks up and with two threes, two dice succeed, you just, boom, you hit one of them in the neck with your, your hypo and they go down like a. Stack of potatoes,

  I hit them hard with the hypo and go no mating.[01:45:00]

  That's, but the thing is, that's just his catchphrase. Like even in missions not like this. He's saying that

  that was just the wind. It was just the wind. He's just a robot. He just hates mating. Neon serenity. You succeeded with two as well, so you're like, bam, hypo needle. What's your catchphrase that you say?

  I, I take inspiration from W goat No baiting.

  And what's strange is that she just always says that now we know where w learned it from. Yeah, I learned it from you mom. Yeah. And uh, I keep wanting to say all your other character names, but Kip Quasar with a four succeeded only once. So you go up, you stick a hypo in them, but something goes wrong.

  No waiting. So you

  them in the neck moment. Oh my god.

  You say the silent prayer that everyone in your group says whenever they try to kill someone, which is no mating. No mating probably, [01:46:00] and they struggle forward so that the needle exits their neck and they've only been hit with half of the dosage and they grab onto their neck and they pull out their laser pistol and they turn on you and they shoot once.

  So shoot, I'm a doctor, I need you to roll your lasers to avoid the shot. Just 1D you're definitely not. Actually, wait, I'm gonna give you 2D roll one more in addition to that. So your original was a two. That one is also oh, two twos. And this is a lasers roll. Those are two successes. So you succeed, uh, with no extra complications.

  So he pulls his gun and he goes to shoot you, you dodge to the side, which would've got you out of the way, but maybe not enough. You may have been hit, but he doesn't even fire. Instead, his eyes glass over and he drops his pistol and he says, so sexy. And then he collapses to the ground.

  I'm endangering the mission.

  I shouldn't have come.

  I'm too sexy. That was a, that was a perfect Harrison Ford line read with literally no [01:47:00] inflection. I'm endangering the mission. I know he's not the one that says it, but like he's, he has that like perfect, or he doesn't. He doesn't, I, I feel like Luke says that right? And he says it with a little bit more emotion and Hamill has like, again, no inflection when he says it.

  Oh, he doesn't. Maybe that's why I was thinking that. But for some reason I was thinking Harrison Ford never has. Yeah, he

  is saying it. Frustratedly muttering it to himself. So he says it kind of just, because usually he's like, t he's stationed because power converters,

  he get the power kiss of my sister.

  He didn't know it was his sister. Come on, we can't all be horny bloggers. So the three of them collapsed to the ground. One of them almost shot the doctor, but his sexiness saved him in the nick of time. You are now here in front of what I'm now going to colloquially call the Stargate a console in front of you and a bunch of inert pylons surrounding it.

  We need more pylons

  must construct additional pylons.

  You do see that there's only four outta the five pylons that you need. We're gonna have to [01:48:00] construct additional pylons. No, all the pylons are there as far as you can tell.

  Okay. We have to get this thing working and go into the future and destroy.

  Wait. How do we get back?

  Slip,

  slap

  slip, slap slides down the the hill and says, yeah, yeah, it'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Like you'll destroy the generator. But there'll still some be some power in the coils. You just walk right back through. It'll close behind you. Then you destroy this side of things.

  So some of us should wait here just to make sure things go okay on the side. I volunteer. No, I think we should, I think you should all go

  through. I think you should all go through.

  You'd never give us up Flip Slapp, right?

  I mean, I give it up for you.

  No, no, no. Like I, I'd

  really raise the roof for this party.

  You guys are really cool.

  But what if,

  what if what? I

  don't trust you. Slip.

  Are you trying to say I would betray you?

  Yes.

  It's crossed my mind. Why would I betray you? Also, I'm saying betray you. And it's making me just think of the never ending story. Betray you.

  Betray you,

  betray you.

  I would never [01:49:00] betray you.

  You're my, you're my, you know what? You're my found family. I love you guys. Aw.

  Aw,

  that's so sweet. Slip

  slapp. Love

  you too. Flip flop. Thanks. Yeah,

  no problem. But does he need more hypo pen? Woo.

  Just woo woo all over him.

  Yeah. I'm checking.

  Uh, he is normal horny levels.

  Yeah, he's fine. Why did you come with us on the other side and then we'll make sure we all get back together.

  It'll be perfect plan.

  I'll stay on this side. I don't want to risk not being able to come back and be famous, but I think all of you guys should go. I think that'd be cool.

  Well, I'd rather wait here.

  Bunch of cool people going into a time riff. That's awesome. You guys are gonna have such a good time.

  It sounds like something an intrepid Explorer would enjoy.

  Not a sexy doctor.

  Flip slapp. If you go through this with us and destroy it on the other end and then you come out, you'll get your own Cosmic Scouts Association card. That's what the mission I'm on right now is for once I earn professor.

  Professor Trevor thinks that's cool and I think that's [01:50:00] lame as hell.

  Remember we'll

  slip slapp. Professor Trevor is famous. Who knows who slip flop is

  Nobody. Ouch. It's not helping our cause. I'm trying, I'm trying to be famous. Neon. Come on. Ow. Neon. Ow neon. You're supposed to complete. Dangerous

  mission. What mission could be more important than going into the future to save a planet?

  Wait, is this turning into just convincing one to go through

  you,

  you

  and your droid, your pet droid?

  No, I'm gonna go through, I'm going through to space and I am closing this portal and then I'm coming back. I am worried about the coming back part. I have dream. Oh, you'll be fine of going through portals like this.

  I think you should all go. I don't believe you slap.

  You all should go through, destroy the generator and you'll be fine. Just come right back through. Some electricity will be in the, some electrical energy will still be in the coil things. And it, it's not like the, the, the thing isn't just gonna shut down because the generator went down.

  That wouldn't make any sense. There's a whole Would you

  let Dippy do go through this portal?

  Flipp? I don't know Where dippy do is. I need your help finding them. Like they're out [01:51:00] there. I can't find, I can't find them. I've been looking. I can't find

  an imp here. We should probably just go through the portal.

  Yeah,

  let's just go through the portal.

  Yeah. Why you guys go do that? I'll stay over here. Me

  Jesus.

  My God. Okay. Um,

  get your cute little, took us over here. You guys have like an HR department or something? I wish the sexy doctor's like, ah, we

  really need one. I meant to tell you, the captain didn't think I was doing enough on the ship, so he gave me that responsibility too. So you're hr?

  Yeah.

  It's a very diplomatic rule.

  You gotta negotiate lot corny resources.

  Jesus.

  Okay. What are you guys doing? We're leaping

  through the portal. We got it dramatically. Yeah. Like bonk fricking Dr. Trevor and just like carry him through the portal with us.

  Yeah. Good idea.

  No, that could

  cause brain damage. Don't do that to me. Oh no. You've been hypo.

  I'm a brain worm. I'm [01:52:00] just a little brain worm. Just a little brain worm. I'm just a brain worm. Don't fnk me. No, you're I'm just a brain, brain

  worm.

  You hypo him?

  Yes.

  I'm just a brain worm. Oh. Oh no. And he, he goes into loopy space and he is mostly unconscious.

  All now that we can take him with us. Do you guys think we're gonna be able to make it back?

  Only one way to find out.

  Let's go.

  Okay. So you guys go up to the console and bash on it a little bit and use your tri-quarter. I'm sorry, I mean your super sweet space. Phone camera, communicator, scanner thing with universal translator.

  I call it the woo.

  And. You very easily understand this technology that you've never encountered before.

  Very Star Trek. And just turn it on. Be like, oh yeah, it's fucking on. Switch. Fucking hit some symbols.

  It's a eunuch system. I know this,

  I know this. You guys are like, all of your hands are on the keyboard, all typing at once. And then the Stargate, I mean the round portal activates, [01:53:00] boom. And a big, I don't wanna say it's looks like water.

  So I'm gonna say it looks like, uh, liquid grass. Not, not a liquid grass. Oh, okay. Oh, I like that. It looks like a bunch of grass. Like wha So it looks like there's a football field, like curated grass right in front of you. So it's just like a vertical sheet of grass. I think it's a full orb. I think it's gonna be an orb of grass that you walk into, like No, I like that.

  Yeah. Like, you know when sonic, when you like jump into the orb or whatever, isn't that a sonic thing?

  I know. I can't think of that in Sonic, but I know the type of thing you're talking about. I would think more

  like crash bandicoot

  thing maybe.

  Ah, yeah. So you guys are leaping into a crash. Bandicoot orb patent pending.

  Nobody sued me for that. Please. So there's a big grassy orb in front of you. Um, and it's really neatly mowed. Someone like, understands they're mowing. So it's been like back and forth, crosshatching, mowing, like that awesome pattern you see on baseball fields. It's just kind of hovering there, waiting for someone to do something in this game.

  We

  gotta go back. Let's send, uh, let's send the, the, the droid through first. I think. [01:54:00] Make sure it's safe for us Organics.

  If you could just back up my, uh, give me a quick backup. I can just duck through and see what happens.

  That's the backing him up sound. I've got a copy of your mind downloaded onto this device.

  Weird. Yeah. How'd you get that? It

  was brainport.

  It's a lot of, that's a lot of ethical conundrums there. We can get into that at a later date. Yeah. What kind of doctor are you? Sexy, kind.

  God. So the Android, uh, w you move up to the great grassy orb and you play your fingers across it and you feel the, the, the verge. It's very pliable.

  I like to feel the grass and then duck my head in and back to see if I could easily go through it.

  You duck your head in and you're not really on the other side.

  Looking at another like world, it's more like you're in a lial space, so it's kind of a [01:55:00] purplely black nether area. But in the distance, in this liminal space, you can see that there is a white rectangle and you can hear angels singing or, or something.

  Oh. I duck my head back out of the portal and let them know that there seems to be robot heaven at the end of this gateway.

  Fascinating.

  All I heard was angels. I think I wanna walk towards the light. Well,

  that is a complete journey. Well,

  yeah. Seems safe enough. Okay. I, let's go. Uh, uh, duck in. And who's coming with me? I

  think we're

  all going. Mm-hmm.

  Yeah. Let's not split up.

  We're, we're a team. Yep. Agree. Who is carrying Slippy?

  Slap. Probably the giant robot.

  Yep. I was gonna say, I feel like I, I can throw 'em over my shoulder.

  I, I look strong. But these are vanity muscles.

  All you do is work your core. Yeah. So you sling, slip, slap, nickname, slippy over your shoulder and you move [01:56:00] into the ball of grass. So, uh, I

  actually, uh, use my sweet printer, uh, coming out my back to make myself a baby horn. Um, uh, uh, and, and, and just like attach him to my back. Oh, so this is like a

  full on

  dot matrix

  3D printer?

  Mm-hmm.

  Oh yeah. And the entire thing is wrapped with, uh, Loki PA is awesome.

  Oh God. Okay. So you make a dot matrix 3D printed Baby Bjorn with Loki pawn branding all over it. Beautiful. Exactly.

  Easy.

  Loki. Patent bending. Patent bending, patent bending. We should make a, a real Loki pond game.

  Yeah,

  that's a good idea.

  You see how litigious the Pokemon company is? No way, man. Wait, wait. Nah. There's like a million card

  games out

  there. If, if you're listening to this and you want a Loki coupon game, just slide into Steph's dms. Let her know when it's on Instagram.

  She's the face of this, this whole LLC completely. So just please. Yeah.

  The, my Instagram account dms are open. They are being checked regularly. [01:57:00]

  Yeah. Uh, at Haley with two Y's. Uh, but no, hit us up on, uh, blue Sky. We don't have a Twitter. Because we're not losers. We're cool people. So we only have blue sky. So you all make your way into the grassy verge.

  And in here you hear, oh, as the angels are singing in a concerto, hope that's not the sound you find yourself in a purple and black liminal space where the floor seems sort of like watery. Oh, you're kinda like you're in the upside down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing I'm gonna steal. Okay, so you guys are in the upside down and there's, uh, a lighted path leading off to a white rectangle.

  And there are like angels singing. And every so often there's a piece of Greek architecture or statue or other cyber, you know, you know, cyber wave, vaporware type looking thing. An eye floats by with wings. And it says like, how do you do when it lifts its cap and it keeps flying?

  What amazing.

  I just wanna be clear that [01:58:00] I was not attacking your glorious, beautiful angel singing.

  I just hope that's not the sound that kills flips Slapp. Oh

  shit. No. Yes. Flips, SLAPP dies from that. You're right. No, fuck. Thanks for reminding me. Yes. The slips slaps dead. No. So he goes, limping your arms and he is

  dead. I mean, I was just insulting you. Well, we get, I mean, we get Dr. Trevor back. Oh yeah. I hate slips laugh actually.

  Yeah. Why are you sad? He's dead.

  He didn't keep our promise.

  That's all. So slip. So you say that and as you guys are walking, uh, behind the android w you see a brain worm slide out of Dr. Trevor's ear and kind of squirm on the ground. It's not dead, it just had to escape. Having auditory ability.

  Oh, can we contain it?

  Use

  sample? I dunno. Whatcha gonna do?

  Got one of these like specimen jar samples You do? Can I scoop them up?

  Yeah. You open up your leather, you're wearing a leather jacket, I assume, and it there's a bunch of sample jars there. I'm, I'm picturing your character wearing a thigh length duster leather dust. I thought I had like a trek uniform.

  We've gotta send the uniforms on. Yeah. I'm not allowed to

  [01:59:00] wear dust at Yeah, when you're, when you're chilly. What do you put over that? No, it's, it's, it's got like self heating. It heats itself up.

  Oh, it does now,

  doesn't it? It's actually warmer than it looks too. 'cause it's really tight. Yeah, it's like a wet seat.

  Okay.

  So where are your specimen jars, Mr. Oh, I a

  satchel.

  Oh, now there's a satchel. Okay. Yeah, I had it the whole

  time. Everyone else can vouch. So

  you open up your leather jacket and you take your satchel out and then you take your jar out of that, and then there's another satchel inside that jar. Okay. So no leather jacket.

  Gotcha. You have your satchel, you've had it the whole time. And you pull out your jar and you collect slip, slap the quote unquote alien brain worm in the specimen jar. Uh, Trevor is sort of like groggy because of all the hypos and he is not completely conscious, but he's struggling to like talk, but he's like rolling his eyes and not completely conscious.

  Just rest. Professor Trevor

  will take care of everything and you continue moving. I was gonna have him say something, but he is so far out of it and he is not. He needs his mess horny because he's had so many hypo sprays. Yeah. So I don't like know even what his [02:00:00] personality is if he's not horny. I'm sure having a quote unquote alien brain worm is exhaust, so I'm sure.

  Yeah. He needs a, he needs a little nappy. So you make your way to the end of this liminal space, passing a bunch of this like Greek architecture and you know, busts and stuff like that and things that are like plaid for no reason. And you find yourself at a white rectangle and you can't see through it just white like the wall.

  Yeah, it's like a doorway, but you can't see through it.

  Hmm. Hmm.

  I guess we have to pass through this blinding

  light. Uh, the eyeball with wings flies over and perches on neon serenity's shoulder.

  Oh, hi. How, how do we get through the bright light?

  Hi.

  Hi.

  Hi.

  Hi. I'm Dion Serenity, a prospective pretty guardian scout.

  How do we get through the bright light? Who are you?

  You know, like that crud you get in the corner of your eye?

  Yep.

  So some of that falls off the eye onto your [02:01:00] shoulder and then it flies off. Hi.

  I have bet a lot of creatures and I will meet many more, but I hope this is an individual experience

  and it's a big glop of it.

  It's like the size of your fist.

  I'm, I think you

  made a friend today. I think you made a friend

  brush it off.

  So, uh, do you guys move through the, the doorway? Yeah. Can we just pass through it? Yeah. Can we, yeah, I wanna pass through it. Yeah, just walk through. I don't see why not. I don't know what's gonna happen.

  I didn't write this adventure yet.

  I walk through

  You die. Oh, that can't, that can't be right. Hold on. That can't be right. So you walk through and you find yourself in the exact same place you just were in the ancient, uh, space ruins. But they all look slightly older. And there's a bunch of pig like creatures, like beast men with long tusks.

  Uh, there are two of them nearby. One's wearing a lab coat and one's wearing like, sort of adventuring gear. And they're standing by the console that you just [02:02:00] activated. And you, you, when you step out, the adventuring pig man, uh, raises what you can only assume is a weapon, but kind of looks like a stiff, like a limp noodle that he is holding stiffly.

  And your universal translator picks up what he's saying. So he says, Hey, stop right there. Stop. Don't move another muscle. Or I'll do something to you that you don't like.

  Don't do it. I won't like it.

  We come in peace and love and justice.

  We're here to stop a temporal calamity. The one in the lab coat puts an arm out and lowers the noodle, puts his, its its hand on the tip of the noodle and lowers it and steps forward and says that more ity.

  What are you talking about?

  I look back at the others. What am I talking about?

  The we, we have to get rid of the brain. Worms have come through and they are killing features on the other side. Brain worm. You

  saying brain worms? Yes. We have to destroy this portal. Or brain worms will destroy the planet where the brain worms.

  Oh, right. Brain worms was, yeah, I thought, I thought you might be brain worms. What I meant to say was blast. [02:03:00]

  Okay, so what happens? No, don't have to blast them, but you did yell. Blast him. And I don't know if anyone's reacting.

  I think honestly that neon would react with blind enthusiasm, unfortunately. Um, but she is still holding a hypo, not her blaster pistol.

  And these guys

  are not horny.

  Can she stab him with a hypo?

  No, they are not. They're future black arts. They're not current day black arts. They're completely different species. But yeah, you can stab him with a hypo if you want. Yeah. I'm

  curious as to honestly what might happen, but

  me too, at the same

  time.

  It's a little nerve wracking. 'cause

  Yeah,

  she's putting herself in danger.

  Oh yeah, for sure. She is.

  I'm putting her in danger.

  You are. You should feel really ashamed of that.

  I'm letting her be an intrepid explorer.

  Yeah, you gotta let 'em go sometimes. This is so violent. They're gonna make mistakes. You know, she's gotta let them,

  she's the type to make mistakes.

  So go ahead and roll a lasers and I'm going to give you [02:04:00] 2D six because this is a really dumb move. So it's definitely intrepid.

  Yeah. Yep.

  You're welcome.

  Blast. She's excited by the blinding lights blast. She runs forward and she hits her. One fails and one is my feeling, lasers and feeling number.

  Ooh. So what question would you like to ask about the current situation?

  Um, what will the, how, how will they react to the hypos?

  So you mean like medically?

  Yes.

  Physiologically.

  Physiologically.

  Physiologically. So the hypos, uh, help open up the airways of past flag arts and also eases their horniness.

  Mm-hmm.

  So it's necessary for them. This is a completely different species.

  Mm-hmm. Uh, it, it should still ease horniness, but you're not sure, but, oh, wait, no, I just have to answer honestly. Okay. Wait. You just get to know. Okay. Uh, if you stab this guy with a hypo

  mm-hmm.

  He is going to genetically mutate.

  Oh, that's exciting. [02:05:00] Mm. Okay, so I'm gonna re-roll that. I want to stab him.

  Okay.

  You're just gonna sterilize this man.

  So do I roll both of them again or just one?

  Uh, both of them. Yeah. He doesn't genetically mutate to something cool. He just genetically mutates in being sterile.

  I succeed with both dice.

  Ah, damn. So two, two dice. You succeed with no additional complications.

  Amazing.

  You're like, blast them and then you take a step forward and just stab the scientist in the shoulder, my hypo and you, and you put the, the fluid into him and he goes, wow, you stab me with him. Needle thing.

  A hypo from the consortium.

  Ah, oh, consortium. We're in a consortium. Yeah. I'm sure this is gonna help me then.

  And then he goes and he grows two more arms and grows 12 feet and has an extra head. And he like stumbles around and he turns into like basically a two-headed giant furred wolf man.

  Oh.

  Oh. And the noodle guy drops his noodle and runs [02:06:00] away fudge. Okay. Wolf guy scientist rips out of his scientist's costume scientist coat.

  Yeah. Who knows if he was really a scientist. He rips out of his scientist coat, his lab coat and he says, uh, as a wolf man, he says, oh, oh. And then he tries to grab you.

  I run.

  Okay, go ahead and roll your lasers again. Back. Could

  I, I run back to WW just

  do a a 1D six to avoid his grasp with lasers.

  I fail. I fail so miserably.

  He grabs you and squeezes and lifts his, lifts you up into the sky and he says, oh, ah, and he starts to bring you towards his mouth.

  I take my own advice and I blast him with

  my stun gun. Okay. Roll to try to stun the 12 foot double-headed werewolf. I'm not even good at this. W's picking his, uh, robot butt in the back right now.

  He'll be with you shortly. I'm, I'm like, I, I could easily, uh, no, I'm right now [02:07:00] looking up, uh, resident evil four plagas memes where you like shoot him in the head, and the head like starts wiggling creature.

  I know our memes channel is, is really exploding tonight. Okay. That's a

  success, right? I'm good at la

  uh, yeah.

  Right. So you're, you got below a four. Yeah. So you got below a four, you got a three. So it succeeds, but at a cost. So you shoot his hand and he, lets go. He, he lets go of neon and goes, oh, and neon plummets seven feet to the ground. And when she lands, twists her ankle.

  Ow. Owie my ankle. Owie my ankle.

  Oh no.

  Lemme get out the device.

  No, no, it's okay. This could not hold back. A sailor a pretty guardian scout

  you hear? Uh, hello. What? Oh my God. It's nine two-headed wolf. What the hell? And you look back and you see that professor Trevor is shaking off his unconsciousness.

  Got no time for this. We, we have to close on this portal and then get out of here.

  Now before more of [02:08:00] those things show up.

  Oh my God. Neon Serenity. I have all your cards.

  I know. Not

  now, professor. So what do you guys do? Can we just like destroy it

  somehow?

  Or do we actually, and I did say hi. When you said hi, I said hi before. If we're gonna die, I need you to know that I do. I'm a nice guy.

  I'm a good guy. You are a good guy. We won't die. Dr. Trevor, we

  never doubted you.

  I think you guys did. That's not him saying that. So he's truly the big one. He is the big one. Trevor. The big one. My guardian quote, the big one. Thanks for remembering his cool nickname, quote unquote the big one. So Zeta just yelled out a plan.

  Why don't you yell it out again? 'cause I talked over you. Sorry. We

  have no time. We've gotta shut this thing down and get outta here. I point to the sciencey nerds. Are you talking about me? Sorry. The sex, the sexy science nerd and oh, that is me

  and the robot. Is anyone at the console or was it just the one person who we shot at?

  Are they still here?

  The noodle guy ran away. [02:09:00] Yeah. And the scientist is the one that was at the console and he is now between you and the console as a 12 foot double-headed wolf man.

  Right. So what do you want me to do? Is he's probably also sterile. He is a double-headed, sterile wolf man. Between me and turning this thing off, unless you have any ideas, I'm inching my way back towards the portal while this is all happening.

  Yeah. Portal's still open. Yeah. Uh, the console's there, but you actually spot the generator off to the left quite a ways, but also still, like on the other side of the Wolfman,

  I point up at the generator and I shout to w uh, destroy the generator. And let's just get outta here.

  Affirmative. I I was trying to get a Dr.

  Trevor autograph again. An actual Dr. Trevor autograph. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Let's, let's go, let's go. I can shoot it on the way out.

  Okay. Roll your lasers, also. Excellent memes in the meme chat.

  Yeah,

  we'll definitely have to make the meme chat public for people that join our discord. And I rule a three. A three and you have a [02:10:00] five.

  So you set the rule five or below, so you're good. Um, oh, and you're an expert so you should rule one more. 1D six. Sorry, I should have said that. Four. Excellent. So you succeed. No additional complications. You shoot ba ba, ba ba and you boom. The generator blows up in a way. Too dramatic explosion for just a couple laser bolts.

  It must have just been dripping with gasoline. And the werewolf, not the werewolf. The 12 foot wolf man who's probably sterile, who's also too head to goes, Aw, come on, all he can do now.

  Oh,

  rats. Dang it. And what do you do next? Well, actually I'm gonna let him do something. He takes a step back and like hides his eyes from the blast and he, he just goes, oh.

  And then he tries to squash, um, kit.

  No,

  I'm real. What do you wanna do to avoid being squash? Squash. He's trying to like step on you.

  Um, I want to, I guess let's dive outta the way. I don't think there's anything else I could do. Nice. I got the laser feelings.

  Okay. So what's your question? [02:11:00]

  Uh, my question is, no, think it's here.

  Um, how much time do we have?

  Uh, how much time? Is that your question?

  Yeah.

  Oh, okay. How much time do you have before the portal closes?

  Yeah,

  there's enough. After you destroy the generator, the capacitors holds 15 seconds of energy.

  Okay. Uh, I will re-roll it because it's not best.

  Great question. Oh, nice. And believe that is a success.

  That is a success with complications. So. You jump out of the way of the giant werewolf, the giant, the sterile, the sterile wolf, uh, as he crashes his foot down and you avoid damage. However, when you do that, you also twist your ankle. You have two people with twisted ankles now, and you have 10 seconds to get through that, that portal

  twisted.

  Are you saying twisted? Like that's awesome? Or are you saying like your ankle's twisted?

  Yeah, like I scanned it with my Woo device. Yeah. And twist. I'm just picturing you

  dive and you roll [02:12:00] and you're just like twisted, twisted, twisted. Yeah. Okay, so 10 seconds left. What are you guys doing? Uh, I'm gonna ask specific people.

  Zeta, what do you wanna do? I, I'm already by the portal. I, I jump back through. Okay. You jump through neon. Serenity, what are you doing?

  I also attempt to jump through the portal, but kind of hobble through it.

  You're probably not gonna make it.

  Well, can I, I reached for w to be like, can you w take me

  w you are currently carrying Trevor.

  What would you like to do?

  I'd like to know, uh, what you think is possible in this situation. My ideal would be to basically push them forward and try to lock arms and fend off the sta stair wolf.

  Mm-hmm.

  Well,

  anything is possible. It's all on the dice.

  Or, uh, would it be better to help her along? I don't know if, if that's going to, I don't know if that in, in your mind I would [02:13:00] be able to speed her up by deflecting the monster is my question.

  It's all in your mind. Whatever you wanna do, and we'll see what the dice say. Okay. Um, it's all on the dice.

  Leave me w don't forget about your friend Kip.

  Leave on i, I unload Dr. Trevor from the baby Bjorn, uh, by ripping the Loki pawn baby. Uh, uh, down the front. Uh mm-hmm. Including my red shirt uniform. Uh, and then dive in front of hopefully Kipp and sailor serenity, and lock arms with the creature

  and start like ushering them forward.

  Exactly. Okay. Go ahead and roll your lasers. And I'm gonna say that you are an expert. You're doing an extraction as a soldier, you're making helicopter noises too, I imagine. Okay. Four and a six. You succeeded on one of them. 'cause you have a score of five, right? Yes, exactly. Okay. You're gonna barely manage it, but at a complication or some sort of cost.

  So you drop Trevor, you grab [02:14:00] your friends and you begin to rush them forward. I'm gonna hold on to what the complication is until we get through everyone else the ankle. So, Brian, yeah. Tip, what would you like to do? You've just been grabbed.

  Yeah, I've been grabbed by w yeah. And I'm under like one arm and

  yeah, he's kind of supporting your weight a little bit.

  Um,

  but you can see Trevor splayed out on the ground in front of you half conscious because of all the hypos you guys gave him.

  Hey, come on. I don't know if there's anything I can do. I just need to be carried to safety. I only have mere seconds. I want to try to help Professor Trevor, but what could I do?

  I reach out for him and try to like, take his arm as I'm getting carried away. He's

  half unconscious so you're gonna have to grab his arm and hold onto it. So go ahead and roll your lasers. One six. Damn. Instead a one. Yeah, a one's good. Okay. With a complication. So you grab onto Professor Trevor as the stair wolf lumbers towards you going, ah, ah, the noise it makes and [02:15:00] it's stomping towards you.

  Making, uh, slightly dissatisfied noises as w pulls neon. And kip towards the portal. And Kip drags. Professor Trevor, the complication for w. You can't all fit through the portal abreast. So you start to shove them out in front of you. And when you start to go through the portal, snaps shut, taking you off at the leg, you're now missing your right leg.

  The complication for kipp, as you're pulling Trevor through, you start to lose your grip a little bit. As you're being shoved through by w you stop and you yank him as hard as you can, and both of his legs get cut off. Why not?

  Oh my

  gosh. He'll never act again. That's not true. Why? It's just the rules on this planet.

  All the acting is in the legs. It's a, it's a leg heavy acting community. Come on. So you guys are all in this liminal space. He's missing both his legs. W is missing one leg, and at that point, [02:16:00] reality starts to collapse around you. But I'm not gonna make you guys roll again. You've already succeeded. You pull each other and push each other all the way to the other opening.

  And on the other side, ah, you fall out. Just as the liminal space behind you collapses completely, but your job isn't done yet. You find the generator that's on this side. There's no brain worms around, quote unquote alien brain worms. So you find the generator and you destroy it and then destroy the console and the portal itself.

  There's only one thing left to do. Does anyone remember what it is?

  Gotta sing a song, baby.

  Well, what's the song?

  That's right. You guys did learn the song. Yeah. I was like, and they need to get, they need to put Slippy slap into somebody to learn the song. But you, you, you guys learned

  the

  song from the Angels

  on High. So we broadcast through w Does he have like a broadcasting device in his chest? Of course he does.

  He's a robot. Yeah.

  Obviously he's right next. Obviously he's not obvious. He's right next to the printer.

  Yeah.

  Yeah. Open up w in between that and the

  blender, [02:17:00] I'm a whole office suite. And you wire him into the exo net of this world and play it across every speaker and the dult tones of your group singing.

  Everyone singing.

  Oh,

  that always sounded like two people singing. I dunno if you guys are gonna win this session. I think. Oh, I see what you're saying.

  Yeah. Everyone doesn't sing.

  I didn't realize

  my participation was needed at this point, but let's go. Let's go. It's required. Yeah.

  One more time guys. One more time.

  Okay. For

  peace, love, et cetera,

  for peace and, and justice.

  Did that work?

  Yeah, that that worked. I got the, I got mad hiccups all of a sudden too. You guys like scared hiccups into me with that. So the last few minutes of this is just gonna be having a massive hiccup attack, so, oh God. So you guys sing your little hearts out all across the world of Blear. Of Blear.

  Six your're [02:18:00] singing scares the brain, worms out shit. It scares the alien brain. Worms out. He's got a brains brain out. It's normal hiccups. It's normal hiccups. It's not a brain worm. That's what

  embraced with a brain worm would say.

  And a person without a brain worm would say that too. I swear it. I swear it.

  Just trust me. And uh oh God. And across the world, the brain worms slide out of their hosts like Slippy little slappy and hit against the ground, and they're squashed under the foot of those that were once suppressed, the black of Blear six.

  Amazing.

  The invading aliens were stopped with something as simple as a song.

  I guess they were the ones who ended up with an ear worm. Okay. That was, that was pretty good. That was very, I've saving it since like the five, first five minutes of the session. Have you really? Yeah. Um, as soon as you said it was a song to stop the Earworms, I was like, oh, ha ha, I see what you did there.

  And I was like, no, I'm keeping that for myself. Very

  clever. [02:19:00] So the ear earworms are defeated by a counter song essentially, and they're squashed under the feet of their formerly oppressed, uh, people, the black arts of Blear six. And you become worldwide heroes and they throw a huge parade in your honor, and they're so happy.

  And they're so, I mean, they're doubly happy 'cause you brought them all these hypos. So you also cure them of their horniness and their rampant asthma. It's allergies and, and you know, it's, it's hard to have both at the same time. 'cause you get really outta breath. They get so out breath, dude, you have no idea.

  It's crazy. It's absolutely like unbelievable. Yeah. Out, out of breath. They get, they're like that kid from Hey Arnold, like behind Olga, they had a hiccup and he doesn't do that though. That was brainy.

  His name was brainy.

  So, so it's important. It's very important. I agree. And remember their names. You become, remember their names.[02:20:00]

  Remember the kids from Hey Arnold, if we don't remember them, who, who will, um, exactly.

  I would like to send out in some way a mass message to the entire planet. I'm assuming they are all on the consortium mailing list.

  Yeah. You guys have access to the exon net?

  Yeah. So some details on the song that must be sung if they suspect brains.

  Oh, so what sound. And so that way they can, so what does it sound like?

  Oh, that's true. Yep. That's right. Yeah. So I send, we send them like voice notes or something so that they also know the song and now they can protect themselves.

  Okay. Yeah. So they, they're very protected. They're less horny. They have less asthma.

  They don't have any more brain worms. They're cured of their hiccups. I mean, they are demonstrably better off than they were before you showed up. So I'd say this was a big success. Oh yeah. So round of applause. Yeah. Great success.

  I definitely am walking out of this with my Sailor Scout merit badge.

  It's true.

  I'm gonna see what kind of sponsorships I can get. What kind of like [02:21:00] book deals I can get out of

  this. Ooh, it's gonna be good. You guys are all riding high. Mm-hmm. So you clam onto the raptor and you blast off into hyperspace to your next big adventure. And that was lasers and feelings.

  Woo. We saved clam.

  We didn't save our captain though. No, we're not.

  No. He's been healing the entire time in the pod. Yeah,

  he's just in the back. He's fine. He doesn't need help. He's, he's still overcome by this strange psychic entity, but now you have to consortium space and maybe find him a cure. Nice. And that was Lasers and Feelings by John Harper.

  Excuse The Hiccup by John Harper. So once again, go to itch.io and download a free copy of it and try it with your friends. And join us next time for the next thrilling installment of Dark Star Adventures. Yeah.

  Yeah. Woo.

  Uh, thanks for playing. Yeah, that was great. Thank guys.

  That was fun. That

  was fun.