Bonus: The Witch Is Dead!

Bonus Episode

Oct 21

Bonus One Shot!

In this very special bonus episode, we play invite our first guest star to play The Witch is Dead, a one-page TTRPG developed by Grant Howitt. Listen to the chaos unfold as our group plays familiars seeking revenge for the murder of their witch.

Meet the Circus:

Jeff as Game Master
Brian as Quinn the Magpie
Stephanie as Gerri the Rat
Doja as Belgarath the Toad
Scott as Ted the Fox
and Special Guest Rebecca as Jareth the Owl

# The Witch Is Dead
**System:** The Witch Is Dead by Grant Howitt (one-page RPG, donation-based on itch.io / Patreon: GS Howitt)
**Recorded:** 10/10/25
**Released:** ~10/21/25 (Patreon & RedCircle)
**Players:** Scott, Brian, Steph, Doja, **Rebecca** (guest)
## Guest Star
**Rebecca Olivia Hodges** — voice actress based in South Florida, professional for 3+ years (audio dramas, animation, video games). Website: voicesbyrebecca.com. Old Overwatch friend of Jeff's from ~10 years back. First guest player on the Dark Star Adventurecast.
## The Premise
A kind witch named **Elowyn** lived peacefully in the forest with her five familiars. A witch hunter broke in, murdered her, and fled to the nearby village. The familiars must retrieve the witch hunter's eyes and bring them to Elowyn's corpse within seven days to resurrect her.
## Characters
| Character | Player | Species | Spell | Key Traits |
|:----------|:-------|:--------|:------|:-----------|
| Ted | Scott | Fox | Tidy, Clean and Mend | Clever 2, Fierce 2, Sly 1, Quick 1. Neat freak, tracked the witch hunter by scent. Emotionally attached to Elowyn's domestic routine. |
| Quinn | Brian | Magpie | Lock/Unlock | Clever 2, Fierce 1, Sly 1, Quick 2. Obsessed with shiny objects to the point of distraction. Self-proclaimed "resident human expert" (has seen 18 humans). |
| Gerri (Jerry) | Steph | Rat | Distract and Confuse | Clever 1, Fierce 0, Sly 2, Quick 2. Runs "Jerry's Berries," a totally legitimate berry CSA under the large oak tree. Tiered subscription model. Committed to the bit all session. |
| Belgarath (Gra) | Doja | Toad | Conjure Light | Clever 1, Fierce 0, Sly 2, Quick 1. ~7,000 years old. Former human (can read human writing). Bioluminescent. Also has psychotropic skin secretions (rolled for during play). |
| Jareth | Rebecca | Owl | Conjure Dinner | Clever 3, Fierce 1, Sly 1, Quick 2. Wise protector of the group. Surgical precision in combat and flight. Rolled exceptionally well all night. |
*System: Roll d10 + attribute vs DC (6 simple, 7 basic, 8 challenging, 9 difficult, 10 near impossible). Fail a dangerous task = gain a danger point. Roll equal to or below your danger = captured/dead.*
## Setting
**The Village of Piety**
- Population: 2,000-3,000 humans
- 10-foot palisade wall of sharpened logs encircling the town
- Two gates: West (main, closed during events) and South (toward the mountain pass)
- Three stone religious buildings: two churches and one cathedral
- Incredibly superstitious and oppressively perfect
- Economy of witch hunting; the religion (Church of the Silence Grove Civilization) is built around purging witchcraft
- Located in a mountain valley, flanked by **Mount Celine Dion** and **Mount Doom** (Twin Peaks)
**The Witch's Forest**
- North and east of Piety
- Home to Elowyn's cottage and the familiars
- Being encroached on by the village's clear-cutting, year over year
- Also contains the abandoned home of the **Witch Moira** (a previous witch killed by the town)
## Adventure Summary
### Day 1 — Afternoon/Evening
**Scouting:** Ted tracked the witch hunter's scent toward Piety. Quinn and Jareth scouted from the air, found the town locked down with gates closed and guards posted. The town was protecting the witch hunter, hiding him with the church elders.
**Infiltrating the Town:**
- Jerry distracted a wall guard (dropped onto his shoulder, clawed his neck, cast Distract and Confuse) while Quinn used Lock/Unlock to open the massive west gate
- The guard fell off the wall from the distraction. Jerry was caught mid-fall by Jareth (near-impossible Quick roll of 10)
- Belgarath sat on the fallen guard's throat. Quinn attempted to peck out the guard's eye for "practice" (failed, mashed it instead). The guard died from the fall
- Guard #1 returned, saw Ted, Belgarath, and Jerry. Vowed revenge on "frog, rat, and fox"
- The group scattered into the town
**The Ministry of the Pure:**
- First church investigated; sign read "Ministry of the Pure, overseen by Father Pray Lot" (Belgarath could read human writing)
- Jerry failed to find a crack to enter (well-maintained building)
- Jareth pecked through a stained glass window (rolled 10); Quinn flew inside through the hole
- Quinn looted two gold buttons with Swahili-like engravings from the altar, dropped stained glass and shiny items outside
- A tavern patron spotted the commotion, alerted others. Group scattered again
**Moira's Safe House:**
- Jareth, fleeing north, was drawn to an old derelict mansion by a magical pull reminiscent of Elowyn
- Inside: a cursed/warded home (none who aren't friends of witchery may enter), a bird roost, a tome, and a **music box** made by the Witch Moira
- The music box played a message in bird language from Moira to her familiar "Tel":
- The town knows familiars will come for revenge; they are professionals, a town of witch hunters
- The killer is hidden in the **Sanctum Obscura** beneath the largest stone building (the cathedral)
- The door requires a **silver key** kept on the person of a keeper at one of the smaller stone buildings
- "The one who sets the pyre ablaze is the one who killed me"
- Moira's enchantments activated: self-sweeping brooms, magical breakfast, a safe haven for the familiars
### Day 1 Night / Day 2
**The Crystal Orb:**
- Ted discovered a trap door in the kitchen, opened by a sunbeam hitting a pyrite/mica stone at noon
- Below: a cellar with a glowing blue-purple crystal orb on a golden stand, and shelves of human skulls
- Jerry found a **talisman on a golden chain** inside one of the skulls
- The orb responded to intent: showed Jerry berry locations across the world; showed Ted a vision of the witch hunter's exact location
- **Vision:** Inside the cathedral, past Father Dunny's altar, behind a bookcase, through a locked door to the Sanctum Obscura. A terrified 17-year-old boy named **Henry**, clutching a crossbow, whispering "Just five more days"
**Stealing the Key:**
- Quinn and Jareth scouted and found the shiny man (Father Pray Lot) outside with ornate golden clothing and a **silver key on a silver chain**
- Jareth swooped for the key (failed, scratched his neck instead)
- Jareth pooped in Father Pray Lot's eye with devastating accuracy (rolled 9, "near impossible" precision)
- Quinn swooped in, grabbed the key (rolled 10 sly), and ripped it free from the chain (rolled 11 fierce). Flew off silhouetted against the sun, key dangling from talons
**The Assault:**
- Plan: Quinn opens the gates to let the forest animals in as a distraction; the others infiltrate the cathedral
- Quinn opened the west gate and rallied the birds, who signaled the other animals. A moose, six raccoons, and thousands of birds stormed the town
- The moose gored a tavern patron on its way through the town square
- The others slipped into the cathedral during an active mass (Father Dunny preaching about "Saint Halbrich the Cleanser")
- Jerry set fire to tapestries with toppled candles as a distraction (rolled 12)
- Belgarath was dropped into the communal wine, secreted psychotropic toxins, then escaped (the entire congregation got dosed)
**The Sanctum Obscura:**
- Ted moved the bookcase, Jerry unlocked the door with the stolen key
- Ted dodged the witch hunter's crossbow bolt (rolled 9 Quick)
- Jerry launched onto Henry's face and popped out one eye (rolled 6, barely made it with 0 Fierce)
- Ted bit the witch hunter's hand to prevent him drawing a dagger
- Belgarath jumped into the witch hunter's mouth and excreted psychotropic toxins
- Jareth swooped in and plucked out the second eye (rolled 9 Fierce)
- The witch hunter (Henry, age 17) was killed
**The Aftermath:**
- The animals burned the town of Piety to the ground overnight
- The familiars returned to Elowyn's cottage with the eyes
- They told Elowyn stories all night as the eyes dissolved into her skin and revived her
- Elowyn returned to life, stoked the fire, and began brewing a potion to ensure Piety never returned
- "This valley is ours"
## NPCs
| Name | Status | Notes |
|:-----|:------:|:------|
| Elowyn | Resurrected | The familiars' witch. Kind, wise, beautiful. Lived peacefully in the forest for generations. Murdered by Henry. Revived with his eyes. |
| Henry | Dead | The witch hunter. 17 years old, terrified, hiding in the Sanctum Obscura with a crossbow. Magical and jealous. Eyes plucked, killed by the familiars. |
| Witch Moira | Dead | A previous witch killed by Piety. Left a warded safe house and music box message for her familiar Tel. Her familiar apparently never completed the mission. |
| Father Dunny | Alive (drugged) | Presides over the cathedral. Led mass honoring "Saint Halbrich the Cleanser." Drank psychotropic communion wine. |
| Father Pray Lot | Alive (injured) | Oversees the Ministry of the Pure. Wore ornate golden vestments. Had the silver key. Got owl poop in his eye and the key stolen. Now wears an eye patch. |
| Guard #1 ("Numero Uno") | Alive | Vowed revenge on "frog, rat, and fox." Last seen cradling his dead partner. |
| Guard #2 ("Numero Duo") | Dead | Fell off the palisade wall after Jerry's distraction. Eye mashed by Quinn (practice). Throat sat on by Belgarath. |
| The Merchant | Alive | Traveled three days to sell wares. Camped outside the closed west gate with his donkey. Witnessed the chaos. |
## Lore
- **Piety's Religion:** The Church of the Silence Grove Civilization. Venerates Saint Halbrich the Cleanser (died ~500 years ago, personally killed 80+ witches). Doctrine calls for pushing back wilderness and burning every animal and tree in a "great cleansing of the sacred flame."
- **The Seven-Day Rule:** If a witch's killer's eyes are brought to her corpse within seven days, the witch is resurrected. The town of Piety is fully aware of this and hides their witch hunters in the Sanctum Obscura for the full week.
- **Moira's House:** Warded against non-friends of witchery. Self-maintaining enchantments (sweeping brooms, magical breakfast). Contains a crystal scrying orb, talisman, music box, and a cellar of human skulls.
- **The Forest Awakens:** When a witch is killed, the surrounding forest retaliates. Animals become aggressive and attack the settlement. The town knows this and locks down preemptively.
- **Belgarath's Age:** ~7,000 years old. Possibly a former human. Can read human writing. One of Elowyn's first familiars, imbued with less power because Elowyn was younger then.
## Notable Moments
- Jerry's Berries CSA: Steph committed to a rat-run berry subscription business with tiered memberships for the entire session
- Quinn's shiny obsession: Brian played magpie kleptomania perfectly, constantly getting distracted by shiny objects mid-mission
- Belgarath secretly spiking the rat foot wine with psychotropic toad secretions while no one was looking
- Jareth's bullseye owl poop on Father Pray Lot's eye (rolled 9 on Fierce)
- Quinn's majestic silhouette moment: wings spread against the sun, key dangling from talons
- The entire group describing eyes as "berries" to motivate Quinn to pluck them
- Rebecca's first guest appearance; excellent owl voice work and consistently strong rolls
## Table Notes
- Second one-shot recorded, first with a guest player
- The group rolled exceptionally well all night; very few danger points accumulated
- System praised by all players; cute woodland creature RP was a big hit
- Jeff noted Steph's signature style: "takes one extremely simple thing and finds the ultimate depth" (berries)
- Belgarath being forced into a non-combat role was a welcome change for Doja's usual playstyle
- The Twist (GM secret roll) was never explicitly revealed in the episode