Elective Surgery

Mar 17

Sibylen Exosite, Part V

The surgical bots are awake, and the crew of the Scapegoat did not schedule an appointment. What follows is the least dignified combat in the history of the Viridian Expanse - and that's before Robert gets involved.

Then the pylon activates. And things stop being funny.

Meet the Crew:

Jeff as Star Master (Game Master)
Brian as Captain Thorne
Stephanie as the warrior Haleyy
Doja as the wildcard pilot Robert
Scott as the transhuman hacker Felix

[00:00:00] Star Master Jeff: Welcome to the Dark Star Adventure Cast, where the stars are cold, the void is endless, and dangers lurk in every shadow. Out here, trust is a gamble, and survival is never guaranteed.
[00:00:15] Thorne: On tonight's Adventure Cast... Felix is directly disobeying orders, so I'm just going to let him get dissected if that's what he wants to do.
[00:00:25] Haleyy: Yes, I reloaded my hands.
[00:00:28] Robert: It's either that or I lower the ceiling and kill all of us. I am definitely going to ride this thing like a bucking bronco.
[00:00:38] Star Master Jeff: And that's just the start of the insanity we have for you tonight. So sit back and enjoy tonight's episode of the Dark Star AdventureCast. Previously on the Dark Star Adventurecast, deep beneath the sands of Sibylen, the crew of the scapegoat descended into a basement level of the alien exosite, 30 feet of goo-caked tube, a panicking froggy, and Haley taking the express route down. What they found was a room built around a spiral, a nautilus pattern carved into the floor, and at its very center, a forked black pylon, utterly alien, yet eerily familiar. An adjacent chamber holds two enormous vats, and above them, suspended from the ceiling, mechanical spider-like beings, bristling with blades. Felix puts his hands into the wall and the facility starts listening. Lights come on, rooms shift, and when Haley opens a vat aperture, nanofluid pours into the spiral and fills it, rushing towards the center like it had somewhere to be. And that's when the spiders woke up. Get ready for combat, listeners. Here we go! So it looks like the initiative is going to be Thorn, one of these spider bots, Haley, another spider bot, Robert Ross, and then Felix. So we're going to kick it off with Thorn. This great mechanical spider whirs to life, clicks around trying to do some sort of like weird operation or slicing on something that is in the back, but there's nothing there. And then it sees you, it detects you, and Voss yells out a warning.
[00:02:20] Star Master Jeff: What would you like to do?
[00:02:20] Thorne: Well, the first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to call out an alarm. Haley, Robert, we got a problem in here. Felix, you're going to want to get your hand out of the wall. We're going to need to move, like now, like probably now, like five minutes ago. And while I'm saying this, I'm like patting myself down trying to find my laser pistol. which I then start firing lasers at these guys as I try to pull Felix. Like, I'm backing out of the room, but I'm also not really letting go of Felix. I'm not abandoning Felix in here, but I am trying to make it very obvious to him that we're getting out of this room while shooting.
[00:02:55] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so you're not actually moving yourself out of the room until Felix also goes and moves out of the room?
[00:02:59] Thorne: Right. I just grab him by the arm and I'm like tugging him and I'm like trying to back out of the room and being like, okay, Felix, like you're the reason I can't back out of the room. Meanwhile, I'm just shooting laser blast after laser blast at the closest spider bot.
[00:03:12] Star Master Jeff: I like how you said Felix is the reason.
[00:03:14] Thorne: I found the reason.
[00:03:14] Star Master Jeff: It's me.
[00:03:14] Haleyy: It's me. It's you.
[00:03:19] Thorne: And the reason is you. Okay, so I'm going to roll a laser pistol attack. I knew I should put that skill point into shoot. Pew, pew, pew, pew! 12, maybe? That's at least not terrible.
[00:03:30] Star Master Jeff: Did you maybe roll a 12, or does 12 maybe hit their AC?
[00:03:30] Thorne: I rolled a 12. Does it maybe hit?
[00:03:35] Star Master Jeff: That does not maybe hit. That is not in the realm of possibility.
[00:03:39] Thorne: Unforge.
[00:03:40] Star Master Jeff: You shoot and you hit and ping off your metallic side. You got a couple of badasses here. One of them is now going to go. It slides along the wall to get a little bit closer to you and reaches down to one of the two of you, Thorn or Felix. I'm going to roll randomly. I'm going to roll one to two of one that Felix hit. Two. So it's going after Thorn.
[00:04:04] Thorne: No.
[00:04:04] Felix: Good. He shot at him.
[00:04:07] Thorne: Yeah, but you can still use an instant defense action. I can't.
[00:04:11] Star Master Jeff: That's true, yeah. And it slices down on you with its big surgical knife.
[00:04:18] Felix: You haven't been knifed in a while, Thorn. This could be exciting for you.
[00:04:20] Thorne: Oh, I'm psyched.
[00:04:22] Star Master Jeff: Well, it's used to patients that are staying super still and you are being very slippery, so I'm assuming a six does not hit you.
[00:04:28] Thorne: It does not, but unfortunately I'm not heavily armored, so that shock damage may apply.
[00:04:33] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, so you'll take two shock damage if you have a 15 or less AC.
[00:04:38] Thorne: I do.
[00:04:39] Star Master Jeff: I should use melee weapons more often. This is great. Now I know why Haley does this.
[00:04:42] Haleyy: It's so great.
[00:04:44] Thorne: Dude, unarmed combat is absolutely busted. I just want to say that.
[00:04:48] Star Master Jeff: Speaking of Haley, now Haley's turn.
[00:04:50] Haleyy: Haley!
[00:04:51] Star Master Jeff: Time to get down to the guns.
[00:04:53] Haleyy: I know, I was like, I don't want to go over there and punch it even though they're stationary. Because I'm scared, but there's two of them.
[00:05:00] Felix: You're punching a knife rack.
[00:05:02] Star Master Jeff: Wait, earlier you were like, I'm trained for this. And now you're in combat and you're like, I'm scared.
[00:05:07] Haleyy: Yeah, I'm scared. That was a fall. That was a tactical moment.
[00:05:11] Thorne: They can't move at all?
[00:05:13] Star Master Jeff: No, no, they slid along the ceiling to you.
[00:05:15] Thorne: Oh yeah, okay, great. I was going to say, I hope I wasn't just standing next to this stationary enemy.
[00:05:20] Haleyy: So they're able to move around on the ceiling.
[00:05:22] Star Master Jeff: Yes.
[00:05:23] Thorne: Yeah.
[00:05:23] Haleyy: Okay.
[00:05:24] Haleyy: I'm going to wait for them to come to me then. I'm going to try and shoot the same one that Thorn did.
[00:05:29] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so Thorn and there's one in melee combat with Thorn. And there's another one that's further back.
[00:05:36] Haleyy: I'm going to try to shoot the one in melee combat with Thorn.
[00:05:38] Thorne: That's a great idea.
[00:05:39] Star Master Jeff: Assistant GM, is there any sort of cover or anything like that from being in melee combat?
[00:05:44] Thorne: No, there's no penalty for shooting into melee. There's only a penalty for shooting while something is adjacent to you.
[00:05:50] Star Master Jeff: Okay, cool. Roll them up.
[00:05:52] Thorne: Roll them up.
[00:05:53] Star Master Jeff: Roll them up.
[00:05:54] Haleyy: GM question, burst fire? That's an option I have.
[00:06:00] Thorne: It's true, it is.
[00:06:03] Star Master Jeff: GM, quick question, burst fire?
[00:06:07] Felix: You get a plus two bonus to hit and damage against the target.
[00:06:13] Haleyy: So why would you ever not use burst fire?
[00:06:15] Thorne: Ammo.
[00:06:16] Felix: Yeah, ammo. It uses three rounds of ammunition.
[00:06:19] Haleyy: Oh, I'm really low on ammunition on this thing, too. So I am not going to use burst fire. Oh, but then I get the plus two. You know what? I'm going to use it. And then I'll punch it if it doesn't work. Perfect. Okay. Haley uses her laser rifle with burst fire.
[00:06:35] Star Master Jeff: Okay, here we go.
[00:06:36] Haleyy: Does a 24 hit? Jesus Christ.
[00:06:39] Star Master Jeff: It better hit. You guys are only level three. Imagine it didn't. Damn. Yeah, I think that's gonna hit this little spider bot. It's a surgical implement. It's not heavily armored. Jeez.
[00:06:52] Haleyy: Mm-hmm. I messed it up for five damage.
[00:06:57] Star Master Jeff: Nice. That's like weird for you, shooting your gun.
[00:07:01] Haleyy: Well, what I've been doing the past, like, I think two combats, just scared to get close to things. I'm much better at fighting humanoids.
[00:07:09] Felix: I mean, to be fair, punching a robot, like, yeah, it's not an attractive prospect.
[00:07:14] Star Master Jeff: A lot of them are hardened or whatever it's called. They don't take any shock damage.
[00:07:18] Haleyy: Well, no, I'm not really. It's not necessarily that. It's just that they seem to hit a lot harder than other people.
[00:07:24] Thorne: Yeah.
[00:07:24] Star Master Jeff: Oh, you guys are level three now. Things are going to start hitting real hard.
[00:07:28] Haleyy: Well, I have more than 9 HP.
[00:07:30] Thorne: I still feel like Combat Rifle is the scariest thing. It's like 1d12. That still kills me in one hit.
[00:07:38] Robert: Why do you think that?
[00:07:39] Star Master Jeff: It's funny that you say now you have more than 9 HP finally. Felix and Thorn both have 12. They're not much better. But Robert and Haley, 21 hit points and 19 hit points. Oh, God. There could not be a larger disparity between the intellectuals and the punchy shooties.
[00:07:57] Haleyy: Ha ha.
[00:07:59] Star Master Jeff: It is now time for the second surgical bot. It slides along the ceiling directly next to Felix. And it doesn't feel like they're malicious, like they're being controlled by something else or they are an alien entity onto themselves. They're just doing their jobs, man. They're surgical bots. They've been activated. Now they will do surgery. Two organic beings are right here. So surgery shall be done. Worm! The surgical saw blade comes down upon Felix's head. I rolled a five, and that's a miss.
[00:08:34] Felix: That's definitely a miss.
[00:08:35] Star Master Jeff: Well, what's your AC? Hold on, hold on, hold on. What's your AC?
[00:08:38] Felix: 12, so I still take the two shock.
[00:08:40] Star Master Jeff: Just wanted to make sure. Just wanted to make sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enjoy your two shock. Man, melee damage is great. We could do this more often on the enemy side of things. Robert Ross, what would you like to do? You are still in the spiral room next to Haley with two Ys.
[00:08:54] Robert: Do I have current visual on the enemy?
[00:09:00] Star Master Jeff: Yes. There is a six foot tall by two foot wide door. And through that, you can see one of the two surgical bots, the one that is attacking Thorn.
[00:09:08] Robert: Then I'd like to fire at that one and then afterwards move into melee combat with the one that's left because I'm about to absolutely murder this thing.
[00:09:24] Thorne: Please let that be true.
[00:09:25] Robert: That's going to be a 21 to hit for a nine damage.
[00:09:29] Star Master Jeff: There could not be more light between the intellectuals and the punchy suities because the 21 is actually disgusting. I feel awful for this poor surgical bot who's already been hit once for five damage and is now hit for an additional nine damage. You shoot it and you straight up just destroy one of its surgical limbs. It flies off and a bunch of goo starts to drip out from its inside chassis. Whatever these things are, however these bots operate, it ain't off any sort of electricity you've ever seen.
[00:10:00] Robert: And with that, I'd like to run up to the doorway and into the other room and see if I can distract, engage, show off my afro. I don't know. Just intrigue this second surgical bot.
[00:10:14] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so Robert, you run into that room and you run a comb through your afro and you do a little Johnny Bravo but these surgical arachnids don't necessarily care about you. Felix, you have a big old spider robot directly in front of you hanging off the ceiling ready to pounce once again. What would you like to do?
[00:10:32] Felix: I'd like to get crazy with it. Can I, like, I've gotten good at this bulging action. Can I bulge the ceiling to like move the spider away from me and kind of slam it into the wall on the opposite side of the room?
[00:10:44] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so yeah, both your hands are still in the glob, right?
[00:10:47] Felix: Yep. Yeah, I've not removed my hands from the glob.
[00:10:49] Star Master Jeff: So you want to punch the creature with the ceiling.
[00:10:53] Felix: Correct.
[00:10:55] Star Master Jeff: I will let you roll something. Hold on.
[00:11:00] Thorne: Program dexterity.
[00:11:01] Star Master Jeff: Felix, go ahead and roll your programming dex.
[00:11:06] Felix: Okay.
[00:11:07] Star Master Jeff: And I'm going to have that be contested against the surgical bot's exert dex.
[00:11:12] Felix: Okay.
[00:11:12] Star Master Jeff: If you win the contest, you hit, and then we'll deal with damage.
[00:11:17] Felix: I'm going to use my expert check or my expert skill and roll that again because I rolled a four. Yep.
[00:11:24] Star Master Jeff: Once per scene.
[00:11:25] Felix: Let's try that again, baby. Oh, that's a bit better. That's a nine.
[00:11:29] Star Master Jeff: Oh, nice. Okay. It got a seven. So you beat it by two. So you bulge the ceiling out and slam hardened nano fluid against its upper chassis. So let's deal with damage now. So hitting a ceiling into this creature against this will, I'm going to say is... 1d6 damage. Does that make sense? Are you guys happy with that?
[00:11:50] Thorne: I was going to do what I was going to say, so yeah.
[00:11:52] Star Master Jeff: Yeah.
[00:11:53] Felix: All right. So 1d6. Five points of damage.
[00:11:57] Star Master Jeff: Oh, hell yeah.
[00:11:59] Felix: Because either that or I lower the ceiling and kill all of us.
[00:12:02] Star Master Jeff: That'd be interesting. Yeah, I thought about that. I was like, well, he can't crush them because he can't do that while...
[00:12:09] Felix: I'm in the room.
[00:12:10] Star Master Jeff: He has to be in the room to crush everything.
[00:12:12] Felix: Yeah.
[00:12:12] Star Master Jeff: So the mechanical spider takes five points of damage and we go back to the top of the initiative. Thorne, what would you like to do?
[00:12:20] Thorne: So the one that was closer to me is still close to me then. Yes. But Robert's here trying to get between us, it seems like.
[00:12:27] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. So to explain where everyone is, Felix and Thorne and Robert are all in the VAT room. There are two mechanical spiders, one directly in front of Felix, one directly in front of Thorne. Haley is still in the spiral room, gun drawn.
[00:12:41] Thorne: Okay. Well, Felix is directly disobeying orders. So I'm just going to let him get dissected if that's what he wants to do. And I'm just going to make a fighting withdrawal to get back into the spiral room and out of the immediate stabbing range of these horrible machines.
[00:13:00] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so you do a fighting retreat and you back in. And before we move on to the next piece of the initiative order, I want to do Froggy's turn real quick.
[00:13:08] Thorne: Okay, well, just to be clear, I get behind Haley. I just want to make that clear.
[00:13:12] Star Master Jeff: So when you run in there and you get behind Haley, you spot Froggy and he says, Kill it! Kill it! Oh, I knew we should have left. I knew we should have left. We should have left. We should have left. We should have left. We should have left. This isn't normal. This isn't normal. This isn't normal! And now it's time for the surgical bot. With its very weird, not normal body, there are only two people left in the room. Its main target, Thorn, has left, but Robert Ross has stepped up to the plate. So it moves, sliding all slippery and mechanical-like along the ceiling until it's next to Robert Ross, and it tries to slice him down with a surgical saw. Ooh, a nine is definitely going to miss you. Do you have an AC higher than 15?
[00:13:54] Robert: Oh, 17, my good sir.
[00:13:56] Star Master Jeff: Ah, this bad boy doesn't even take any shock damage. Wait, Thorn, get back in here. This is less fun.
[00:14:00] Thorne: Yeah, see, I'm glad we traded out. This is better.
[00:14:02] Star Master Jeff: This is bullshit. This is bullshit. And I'm taking this all the way to the Supreme Court.
[00:14:09] Felix: Your attack rolls are trash tonight.
[00:14:11] Star Master Jeff: You're trash.
[00:14:12] Star Master Jeff: I don't want to hear it. I'm trying my best over here. Uh, Haley with two Ys.
[00:14:19] Haleyy: How close is the closest one to me?
[00:14:22] Star Master Jeff: Three meters.
[00:14:23] Haleyy: I'm going to go punch it. This one. Sorry. I am going to go into the room and punch whatever's the closest to Felix.
[00:14:32] Star Master Jeff: Okay.
[00:14:33] Haleyy: And in the way of the one that I don't punch, it's between it and Felix. Yeah. I'm running up to it, and I'm punching it. Finally. Finally.
[00:14:42] Star Master Jeff: You could have punched many things, but you keep not wanting to punch non-humans.
[00:14:46] Felix: She only likes punching people. She likes to see the look on their face.
[00:14:50] Star Master Jeff: She wants to see the fear in their eyes.
[00:14:52] Haleyy: Alright, this is my first punch since my level up, so...
[00:14:58] Felix: Did you reload your hands?
[00:14:59] Haleyy: Yes, I reloaded my hands.
[00:15:01] Star Master Jeff: Like from Mission Impossible, he, like, reloads his hands.
[00:15:04] Haleyy: Oh, yeah.
[00:15:06] Star Master Jeff: Did you just say chook chook?
[00:15:08] Haleyy: I definitely made the sound myself because they're my fists. Does a 14 hit?
[00:15:15] Star Master Jeff: A 14 does not hit.
[00:15:17] Haleyy: What's their AC?
[00:15:19] Thorne: You can make it hit.
[00:15:20] Haleyy: I could.
[00:15:20] Star Master Jeff: Now, before I...
[00:15:22] Haleyy: Actually, I want to make it hit.
[00:15:24] Star Master Jeff: You want to make it hit?
[00:15:25] Haleyy: I want to make it hit for 11 damage.
[00:15:27] Star Master Jeff: Well, we can't all get what we want, Haley.
[00:15:29] Haleyy: Yeah, we can.
[00:15:30] Thorne: But if you try sometimes, you might just find...
[00:15:36] Star Master Jeff: You have the warrior ability to get what you need.
[00:15:38] Haleyy: Yes.
[00:15:40] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so yeah, you use the warrior ability, you auto hit, and you hit the one that is directly next to Felix.
[00:15:47] Haleyy: I hit the spider. Yeah, so I shoot directly at the spider next to Felix, you know, and I think it's not going to hit, but then my belief in myself makes sure that it does. to do that again anytime soon, but it was nice that it worked in this one situation.
[00:16:05] Thorne: Once per scene. Probably not till the next scene.
[00:16:07] Haleyy: And I hit it for 11 damage.
[00:16:09] Star Master Jeff: So you sprint into the room and you haymaker the mechanical spider on the ceiling directly next to Felix for 11 points of damage. God damn. Can we just keep Felix and Thorn on the front line? Alien Robert, go get some ice cream or something.
[00:16:26] Thorne: Why do I even carry a gun? That's what you two are for.
[00:16:29] Star Master Jeff: Personal protection.
[00:16:30] Haleyy: Exactly.
[00:16:32] Star Master Jeff: Just in case Haley and Robert are getting out of hand, you can shoot them.
[00:16:35] Haleyy: I don't think I've ever...
[00:16:36] Thorne: Oh, shoot them. Okay. I guess that makes sense.
[00:16:37] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
[00:16:38] Thorne: I don't think I've ever hit an opponent with this gun. So...
[00:16:41] Felix: This room is my weapon.
[00:16:43] Thorne: Would you get out of there?
[00:16:44] Star Master Jeff: All I'm saying is that Mal carries a gun even though he has Zoe and Jane.
[00:16:51] Haleyy: It's true. It's like an alarm if you need help.
[00:16:53] Haleyy: Yeah, but he's also a crack shot. I don't think Wash carries a gun.
[00:16:56] Star Master Jeff: Definitely does use it. Yeah, Wash carries dinosaurs in his pockets.
[00:17:01] Thorne: I'm more like Simon, but without the medical skills.
[00:17:06] Star Master Jeff: I think you're more like that guy that gets kicked into the engine. You know that guy?
[00:17:10] Thorne: Great.
[00:17:11] Star Master Jeff: Or the guy that wakes up from the coffin in the war memory episode.
[00:17:14] Thorne: Yeah, yeah.
[00:17:15] Star Master Jeff: Anyway, the mechanical spider that just got hit, it's now his turn, and he's looking for revenge. And by that, I mean he's a non-sentient being who's going to continue to just attack Felix.
[00:17:24] Thorne: No.
[00:17:25] Star Master Jeff: So the mechanical spider slices down with the surgical ineptitude of a clumsy 12 year old and misses you with a seven but you take two shock damage.
[00:17:34] Felix: Yeah.
[00:17:35] Thorne: Shocking.
[00:17:35] Star Master Jeff: I'm gonna whittle you down with shock damage just like Haley does to every other person that she's fought in this campaign. Oh, I missed but uh Trusk takes eight shock damage and he's dead. End of episode two, I said end of episode two. Robert Ross,
[00:17:52] Robert: How does attacking a opponent that is not next to me, so if I shoot the surgical robot farther away from me, do I take a negative? Should I just shoot the one right next to me and it's the same negative? Because it's already taken damage. That would be my preferred target. Just curious about how the damage goes.
[00:18:12] Felix: You can use a one-handed ranged weapon with a minus four. Two-handed, you cannot use at all if you're within melee.
[00:18:18] Robert: Give me one second. I'm looking at what the damage of that looks like. No, I'm gonna take my, because it's a D4 versus a D6, I don't really care. I'm going to take out my knife and try to cut away as many wires from the base of the surgical robot. I just mount that thing and ride it like a little bull.
[00:18:39] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so you're going to draw your knife. I'm assuming it's ready. It is indeed. Okay, so you can draw it. You're just going to drop your rifle, which is on a strap across your chest, so you don't drop it on the floor. Yes, sir. And then just to be clear, you're going to slash at the wires on the top of the bot, which you can reach, because the ceiling has been raised only to eight feet, and you're tall. But then you also want to ride it like a bull. Are you saying you're also going to... What exactly are you saying you're going to do to this poor robot?
[00:19:11] Robert: I'm just going to give it a very, very nice chance to see if I can tame it. See if I can make friends with it by jumping on top of it and trying to strangle all the arms with my arms. It's mostly just moving on to it to distract.
[00:19:25] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so I love you. I don't know what to do about this, but I love you.
[00:19:29] Felix: I don't know if you can do that and attack it with a knife in the same round.
[00:19:32] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, I think you have to choose one. Attack or ride it like a bucking bronco. I will say my preference is that you ride it like a bucking bronco, but you can choose whichever one you want.
[00:19:42] Robert: I am definitely going to ride this thing like a bucking bronco.
[00:19:46] Star Master Jeff: Okay, go ahead and roll exert strength or dexterity, whichever you prefer to pull yourself or jump atop the creature. I don't really know what else to say. Okay, a nine is a great roll. It beats what I thought the DC of eight would be. So you kind of belly flop on top of this thing. There's only 18 inches of space between the top of it and the ceiling. So you jump up, you get on top of it, and you feel the connection it has with the ceiling start to strain. and it starts to whir back and forth as you're on top of it, and you raise up your knife. I'm assuming because you're going to start stabbing it on your next turn.
[00:20:25] Robert: Oh, yes, sir. I'm trying to get right, trying to find just where the saw blade comes out of the wall. If I can find a joint in that carapace, I'm going to try to jam my knife right in there.
[00:20:38] Star Master Jeff: Okay, and for clarity's sake, I did roll an exert dexterity for the robot. It only rolled a five, you rolled a nine. So you jump on top of it, it tries to throw you off, and you stick to it like glue. You are a regular old cowboy right now. You're... I don't know what to say, man. You're on top of this robot. What do you want me to say about that? It's spinning around like a mad beast, and you're hanging on, and I'm assuming you're saying wahoo.
[00:21:04] Robert: All I'm going to say is I have ridden a bull before in my lifetime, and my thighs were very, very sore afterwards. In real life? Yeah, actually, that's a legitimate thing.
[00:21:15] Star Master Jeff: Wait, hold on. Wait, let's hear the story real quick. Just want a quick intermission. Let's put some cowboy music on.
[00:21:25] Robert: So it was a mechanical bull. I went to the stockyards with an ex-girlfriend of mine and I looked at the guy and I said, make me look like an asshole. And he said, yeah, I got you. And he bucked me off so hard in like not even two seconds. I was just thrown from this thing, but I tried to grip it. I tried so hard and my entire thigh from knee to groin was completely bruised.
[00:21:54] Star Master Jeff: Wait, wait, what? Why did the guy? What are you talking about? Does he control the bull?
[00:22:00] Robert: Yeah.
[00:22:00] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. They can change how. I thought it was like programmed.
[00:22:04] Haleyy: You didn't know that?
[00:22:05] Thorne: No, it's PVP.
[00:22:06] Star Master Jeff: It's PVP?
[00:22:07] Star Master Jeff: Yeah.
[00:22:08] Haleyy: Yeah.
[00:22:09] Thorne: The guy tries to throw you off.
[00:22:11] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. Wow. I didn't know it was so...
[00:22:13] Haleyy: That's why the girls always last longer on it because they change it, you know.
[00:22:16] Felix: Yeah.
[00:22:17] Star Master Jeff: I didn't know the girls lasted longer.
[00:22:19] Felix: They tried. They tried to make them bounce in uncouth ways.
[00:22:22] Star Master Jeff: I think we should have an adventure cast outing and we go and we all try to ride a bucking bronco.
[00:22:27] Haleyy: I'm not going to...
[00:22:28] Star Master Jeff: But you'll last longer.
[00:22:30] Thorne: Wait, a mechanical bull though, right? Not a bucking bronco because there's a huge fucking difference.
[00:22:36] Felix: It has to be Brian. I'll try to ride Brian.
[00:22:38] Thorne: Am I mechanical in this situation? Yeah.
[00:22:41] Star Master Jeff: I think this is getting away from me. I just want us to have...
[00:22:45] Haleyy: Who's the operator?
[00:22:46] Star Master Jeff: Let me rephrase it as something that Stephanie may go to and Scott won't get on Brian's back.
[00:22:55] Star Master Jeff: How about we go for a dinner at Longhorn sometime?
[00:22:57] Thorne: Scott will jump on my back the minute he sees me.
[00:23:00] Haleyy: What if we did Texas Roadhouse?
[00:23:03] Thorne: Yeah.
[00:23:04] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, okay. Let's go to Texas Roadhouse sometime.
[00:23:07] Felix: Yeah.
[00:23:08] Star Master Jeff: So we've removed the bull from the equation entirely.
[00:23:11] Thorne: I can't believe how long it's been since the last time I carried you on my back.
[00:23:14] Felix: It used to be a regular occurrence that I would ride you around.
[00:23:18] Thorne: I know.
[00:23:19] Star Master Jeff: I'm going to move on to Felix's turn now.
[00:23:21] Star Master Jeff: Felix, what would you like to do?
[00:23:25] Felix: What I was planning on doing was raising the ceiling as high as I could to get these things away from me, but Robert is now attached to one of them.
[00:23:32] Star Master Jeff: You wanted to do that before all this hot bronco talk.
[00:23:36] Thorne: Well, they'd be away from you.
[00:23:37] Felix: I'm still going to do that and let him deal with falling. So I'm going to basically try to, as quick as I can, raise the ceiling as high as I can to make it so these things can't reach me.
[00:23:48] Star Master Jeff: Okay, go ahead and roll your program strength. Using both hands, struggling as hard as you can.
[00:23:56] Felix: Oh, it's a 13. It's a 13.
[00:23:57] Star Master Jeff: That's a great roll.
[00:23:59] Felix: Oh my goodness.
[00:24:00] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so these two creatures are resisting the pull of the ceiling. As you're trying to raise it up, they're trying to keep it down.
[00:24:07] Felix: Oh, they got some control over it.
[00:24:09] Star Master Jeff: They do seem to have something, something connected to it. So the first one is going to make its exert strength roll to assist the second one. It succeeded on the roll with a six. So the second one is going to have a plus one. It rolled a three. You rolled a 13. So that ceiling goes right to the moon. By that, I mean another 10 feet up. Actually, sorry, another 20 feet up, 22 feet up, because you have an eight-foot ceiling. Go 22 more feet up before it hits against the barrier that is the first floor, because you guys are about 30 feet down. So you've raised the ceiling 22 feet. Sorry, Robert. Robert rockets up to the highest. You're in a cathedral now. And Robert, are you afraid of heights?
[00:24:55] Robert: I mean, I'm not. Not afraid of heights.
[00:24:57] Star Master Jeff: Why don't you go ahead and roll a mental saving throw for me? Because this shit is mental.
[00:25:02] Robert: And that's going to be an 11.
[00:25:05] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, looks like you failed because you have a 13. So you start to freak out a little bit. All you can really do up there is hang on for dear life. You are unable to attack or do anything else on your next turn. But on your next turn, I'll let you roll again.
[00:25:21] Felix: Why?
[00:25:21] Star Master Jeff: And then we pass the turn to Thorn.
[00:25:25] Thorne: So even if I go in that room, they're 30 feet up, so I don't think their arms are long enough to slash at my flesh anymore. So I will cautiously move up to where everybody else is in the doorway, pistol in hand, and I take aim up at the ceiling. I see Robert flailing about on top of the spider pot. Robert, stay still. I got to aim. Stop moving.
[00:25:53] Robert: Don't shoot at that one.
[00:25:55] Thorne: Fine. Yeah, so the other one that doesn't have Robert on it seems to be easier to hit. So maybe I'll fire some laser shots at that.
[00:26:03] Robert: Appreciate that choice. That's real kind of you.
[00:26:06] Thorne: Poor Robert. Oh, my goodness. That might actually hit. I got a 20.
[00:26:12] Star Master Jeff: A 20 hits. Wow. You probably did a lot of damage with that.
[00:26:17] Thorne: I did. I did one damage.
[00:26:21] Star Master Jeff: One damage.
[00:26:22] Felix: If I have like armor plating, why doesn't it break through that?
[00:26:27] Thorne: I know, right? That's actually zero.
[00:26:29] Star Master Jeff: No, you do 1 point of damage. They're surgical bots. They're not like war machines. They just happen to have a bunch of saws and stuff, and you guys happen to be having a lot of difficulty. It's the bot's turn. This bot is going to try to hit Robert Ross, who is on its back.
[00:26:45] Robert: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[00:26:46] Star Master Jeff: It's going to have a minus 2 to do so. So the surgical blade goes off to its back. 13 is going to miss you. You have higher than an AC 15, so you take no shock damage as the saw blade fruitlessly grinds away at your advanced armor. Haley, with the punching fists, you are 30 feet below these two spider creatures.
[00:27:08] Haleyy: How far below them?
[00:27:10] Star Master Jeff: 30 feet.
[00:27:11] Haleyy: Fuck.
[00:27:13] Robert: Yeah, they poop my ass up in the ceiling.
[00:27:15] Haleyy: I shoot a laser rifle, because they've gone up so high.
[00:27:18] Star Master Jeff: Were you shooting at the one that Robert Ross is astride, or were you shooting the one next to him?
[00:27:22] Haleyy: The one next to him.
[00:27:24] Star Master Jeff: Smart.
[00:27:25] Thorne: Wicked smart.
[00:27:26] Haleyy: So I am attacking with my laser rifle. which has pretty sure one piece of ammo left in it, unfortunately. So no burst fire this time. Does a 15 hit?
[00:27:36] Star Master Jeff: 15 hits.
[00:27:37] Haleyy: For six damage.
[00:27:39] Star Master Jeff: Oh, six points of damage.
[00:27:40] Star Master Jeff: So you shoot up at the one that was attacking Felix. It's next to the one that Robert Ross is currently riding like a bug in Bronco. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. What kind of gun is it? Is it a laser rifle or what?
[00:27:51] Haleyy: Laser rifle.
[00:27:53] Star Master Jeff: The laser bolts strike through. You start with a five. Goo-goo-goo-goo-goo, scoring the ceiling behind it, destroying whatever innards it has, and it deactivates as goo flows out of the newly created holes, dripping upon your brow.
[00:28:10] Haleyy: Not the goo. Yes, victory.
[00:28:16] Star Master Jeff: Robert Ross, go ahead and roll your will save.
[00:28:21] Robert: I'm just holding on for dear, dear sweet life. Is that mental evasion physical?
[00:28:28] Star Master Jeff: Yes, roll your mental save.
[00:28:30] Robert: And I hold on for life if I can. Oh, God. Oh, God. Why is it turning that way? Why is it turning that way? I roll a six.
[00:28:40] Star Master Jeff: And you're squeezing your eyes shut, and you just hear laser bolts rocketing all around you, and then you hear, like, laughter from below you. Haley's at least having fun. Felix Champlin.
[00:28:50] Felix: Well, now I don't know what to do. I'm going to try to bring the ceiling down to like 15 feet and tell Robert to jump off.
[00:29:00] Star Master Jeff: OK, go ahead and roll your programming strength, because now that the mechanical spider is up there, it wants to stay. It's working on Robert.
[00:29:10] Felix: Oh, that was a bad one. Seven.
[00:29:12] Star Master Jeff: So it got a three. You got a seven. So you pull the ceiling down 15 feet quite easily, but you do feel some resistance.
[00:29:20] Felix: Robert, jump off.
[00:29:22] Star Master Jeff: The creature, Robert, is there a mere 15, measly 15 feet from the floor. Thorn Draxus, heir to Draxus Trading Company. What would you like to do?
[00:29:31] Thorne: That's Draxus Goods, thank you. I'm going to... Wait, did Haley destroy the one? Yeah, so now it's just the one with Robert on it. I am going to just hold my action until Robert is clear, because if I feel like I can't really get a good shot on it, or do you feel like I could just get a good shot on it?
[00:29:49] Star Master Jeff: I know normally when you're in melee combat, there's no minus, but they're literally sharing the same space.
[00:29:54] Thorne: Well, if he's providing it any cover, that might give me a penalty.
[00:29:57] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, he has like his arms wrapped around it. So minus two.
[00:30:01] Thorne: Yeah, so I'll hold my action until I have a clear shot.
[00:30:03] Star Master Jeff: For anyone interested, it's a minus two. If you miss by one or two, you hit Robert instead.
[00:30:11] Robert: Oh, definitely shoot me in the butt. Do it. We're at the risk.
[00:30:17] Thorne: No, I'm just going to wait. You can just wait. It's not that hard to wait. Also, what do you guys want me to just shoot it for one damage or just miss it anyway? You know, just give me...
[00:30:26] Felix: Yeah, right.
[00:30:26] Robert: Brutal.
[00:30:27] Thorne: Let me just wait.
[00:30:28] Robert: Yeah, because you shoot me in the butt for one damage and I will remember that forever. It'll be a glorious moment.
[00:30:34] Star Master Jeff: Why are you roasting yourself?
[00:30:38] Robert: Listen. Just trying to get ahead of it.
[00:30:38] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so the surgical bot is going to attack Robert Ross. It's going to attack Robert Ross at a minus two. Oh, minus two. Fifteen misses you.
[00:30:51] Star Master Jeff: Oh, I rolled a seventeen. That would have hit you, right?
[00:30:52] Robert: Literally would have that perfect hit me.
[00:30:55] Star Master Jeff: But I rolled a fifteen, which misses you, and the shock damage is only on a fifteen, and you have higher than fifteen, so...
[00:31:01] Star Master Jeff: FML.
[00:31:03] Robert: I just keep, I keep holding on. I'm using, using my legs. I keep swirling. I'm seeing stars. At this point I might pass out.
[00:31:12] Felix: Just let go.
[00:31:13] Robert: Please somebody kill this thing.
[00:31:15] Felix: Well, we're down now. It's fine. I can't get a clear shot.
[00:31:18] Star Master Jeff: Now that Haley's level three, do you think she should be Haley with three Ys?
[00:31:23] Haleyy: No.
[00:31:23] Star Master Jeff: Just keep increasing the Ys every level.
[00:31:25] Haleyy: That's her younger sister.
[00:31:27] Thorne: Yeah, obviously. Yeah.
[00:31:29] Star Master Jeff: Right.
[00:31:30] Felix: Her parents...
[00:31:31] Thorne: are not innovative.
[00:31:33] Star Master Jeff: Hayley with one Y, older sister. Hayley with two Ys, younger sister. Well, I mean, what would Hayley's daughter's name be?
[00:31:39] Thorne: Hayley with two Hs.
[00:31:41] Star Master Jeff: Hayley with two Hs and two Ys.
[00:31:44] Thorne: Hayley.
[00:31:47] Haleyy: Hayley. How high up is the ceiling again? Is it 15 feet? 15 feet.
[00:31:52] Star Master Jeff: Time to get down to the guns.
[00:31:53] Haleyy: Except I can't really do that because I need to reload my gun, which is a main action. So I'm spending this action reloading my gun.
[00:32:01] Star Master Jeff: So you kneel, you do like a cool pose and you take out a new battery and you slot it into your laser rifle.
[00:32:08] Thorne: I wonder what kind of noise that makes.
[00:32:13] Star Master Jeff: Robert Ross, go ahead and roll your mental. Actually, no, you're only 15 feet from the floor now. Don't even bother rolling it. You're not so high up. You're on this bucking bronco. You know you can safely drop to the floor. So the fear has subsided. What would you like to do with your turn?
[00:32:29] Robert: I'd like to use my movement to drop to the ground. Question, do I have enough movement to stab it and then let go and try to superhero pose, but most likely fall on my face?
[00:32:43] Star Master Jeff: I'm gonna say yes.
[00:32:44] Robert: Then I'd like to grab any loose cords that I can and slash it with my knife.
[00:32:53] Star Master Jeff: Ooh.
[00:32:54] Robert: And after that, fall to the ground and potentially make a superhero pose that was almost as cool as Haley's.
[00:33:04] Star Master Jeff: Okay. The man rolls a 12, but it turns into an 18 because of course it does. The old shooty punchy crowd is so good at combat. That's it, no more combat ever again. No, I'm just... So yeah, 18 definitely hits. That does three points of damage. And then you're gonna, you drop off, you go 15 feet.
[00:33:23] Felix: Which, which is, which is still, that still might be a D6 of damage.
[00:33:28] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, so 15 feet to meters is 4.5 meters, so it's still going to be a D6 of damage. But actually, wait, we're in 0.8 gravity, so it's... Oh, it's 3.6 meters. So you're still going to take a D6 of damage.
[00:33:43] Robert: That's two damage for me and I take two damage.
[00:33:48] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Then so you drop and you land like a superhero and it rattles your body. Are you trying to pretend like it didn't hurt? Because if so, I need you to roll a perform constitution.
[00:33:57] Robert: I absolutely am because it definitely, definitely didn't hurt. Maybe it hurt a little bit. Oh sweet god, that's a three.
[00:34:06] Star Master Jeff: You rolled a three, which sadly means that everyone thinks you're a giant wuss now.
[00:34:13] Thorne: Oh, come on, Robert. It wasn't even that big of a fall.
[00:34:15] Robert: Guys, it like kind of knocked the wind out of me on the way down.
[00:34:22] Thorne: Now that there is a clear shot to the machine, I would like to use an instant action to take that held action I was holding on to.
[00:34:29] Robert: Okay.
[00:34:30] Thorne: So as soon as Robert drops and I quip about him feeling pain, I shoot a few lasers at the...
[00:34:37] Star Master Jeff: The way that he dropped off the robot in your quip, I really hope this isn't like the Marvelfication of this game.
[00:34:48] Thorne: and see if that hits? I actually don't remember.
[00:34:51] Star Master Jeff: Let me check the... Oh.
[00:34:54] Thorne: No, it's on the other...
[00:34:54] Star Master Jeff: Oh, no, that hits. That hits. That hits.
[00:34:56] Thorne: Check the other page? Yeah, yeah.
[00:34:58] Star Master Jeff: Oh, the other page. No, that misses, dude. I'm sorry.
[00:35:00] Thorne: Oh, no. Shoot. Darn.
[00:35:01] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, so Thorn continues. But I'm glad you made your character to be really good at, like, trading things. Oh, yeah. I'm great at that.
[00:35:09] Thorne: So Thorn fires a bunch of lasers at the fighter bot until the gun starts clicking and my battery is dead. I'm going to have to reload it soon. But unfortunately, that's it. I just get this one action.
[00:35:21] Star Master Jeff: Okay. Felix, show them how it's done.
[00:35:24] Felix: I'm going to push it all the way back up again and just get it out of our hair.
[00:35:27] Star Master Jeff: Okay. Roll strength.
[00:35:30] Felix: 11.
[00:35:30] Star Master Jeff: Oh, you did better that time. Still not good enough. Yeah, you did really good. You got an 11. It got an 8. It resists, but you push the ceiling all the way back up to 30 feet, and it whirs and chugs and is completely useless now.
[00:35:44] Felix: All right. That wasn't so bad, was it? You two okay?
[00:35:49] Haleyy: No. I'm fine.
[00:35:53] Star Master Jeff: Froggy says from the next room, I'm doing okay. Thanks for asking. I'm very shaken.
[00:36:00] Haleyy: Well, are you covered in goo, Froggy?
[00:36:02] Star Master Jeff: No. Should I be?
[00:36:05] Haleyy: No. No, Froggy. You're fine. Stay away. Haley is currently just running her hands through her hair, being like...
[00:36:13] Felix: Get it all off. Yeah, you have to detach it. Well, get it into the grooves, Haley. If you're going to get rid of it, get it into the grooves in the other room.
[00:36:20] Star Master Jeff: wring your hair out into the grooves.
[00:36:22] Felix: Yeah, we need as much as we can get.
[00:36:23] Haleyy: Okay.
[00:36:24] Haleyy: I can do that. I can do that much. All right.
[00:36:26] Felix: Now that we're out of immediate danger, I'm going to resume my ministrations and manipulate the ceiling in the other room to move the vat to the other apertures to release the nanofluid from above.
[00:36:39] Thorne: Robert, would you make sure that that fighter bot up there doesn't get any ideas or do any more moving?
[00:36:44] Robert: Yeah.
[00:36:45] Star Master Jeff: Eyes on it, sir.
[00:36:47] Thorne: Take your time, buddy.
[00:36:48] Star Master Jeff: You move the vat around in the other room and you start to empty all the goo that you can onto the floor.
[00:36:53] Felix: Okay, I get Haley to push the button for me each time.
[00:36:56] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, sploosh. Sploosh. Sploosh. You move the vat. Haley presses the glob. Sploosh. Voss says:
[00:37:05] Felix: It appears that I have enough nanofluid to actually activate the pylon now. I think that we should because then I can fill up our escape hatch. What do you think?
[00:37:18] Felix: Do it, Elara.
[00:37:20] Felix: Very well. Activating the pylon now.
[00:37:22] Star Master Jeff: The goo begins to glow and ripple back and forth as though there were an unseen force pushing it back and forth like an earthquake. Waves appearing in the goo. The pylon begins to glow with a cosmic purple and black energy, much like you saw back at the truck stop with a similar device. Mere moments later, it's as though a hole has been ripped in space-time itself, directly in the middle of the spiral, right between the two tines of the rod, which is exactly what you observed at the truck stop as well. But this time, instead of seeing some odd tentacled monster, you instead see space. This window is ten foot cubed. No matter where you're standing in the spiral, you can see through it at a different angle. You watch as this cubed window hurtles across space. Minute after minute passes, and you all stand entranced, until it finally begins to reach a metal structure, one of interlocking rings. Five rings total. Huge. A mammoth structure, organized like a celestial gyroscope, with a long rod piercing its heart. As the window approaches this object, its true scale comes into focus, as the space station is shown orbiting at no more than one-tenth its size.
[00:38:42] Robert: I do not believe it. That's Prometheon Station!
[00:38:47] Star Master Jeff: Haley, your head begins to throb. The gyroscope spins up as the window slowly approaches it, and then it gains speed, moving faster and faster, the window going towards it quicker and quicker, until it passes through the event horizon of this gyroscope and seemingly slams into the central rod. The window goes black for a split second before slowly resolving to show a single blue light floating amongst the stars. The blue light slowly resolves into a diamond shape, a diamond shape that then splits into two diamond shapes, and then four, and then eight. Suddenly, Haley screams as she falls to the ground, clutching her head. Ah!
[00:39:30] Felix: Haley, oh my god!
[00:39:31] Haleyy: The blue light!
[00:39:33] Felix: Cut it! Cut it! Dr. Voss, get it out of here! Haley! I'm trying as much as I can!
[00:39:38] Star Master Jeff: Disconnect!
[00:39:39] Felix: Haley, hold on! I try to yank Voss out of her socket.
[00:39:45] Star Master Jeff: No, no, don't use the glob on the side of the pylon.
[00:39:50] Felix: I'm going to get my hand into the glob to try to help Dr. Voss shut down this portal because Haley's obviously in distress.
[00:39:56] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so when you reach your hands in there, you can feel how hard Dr. Voss is trying to disconnect from this. Within this 10-foot cube window, you see that the blue light has taken shape into a tangled mass of black metal limbs. Each of these blue diamonds, a separate mass of black metal limbs. Each limb moving seemingly independently and with its own will. Felix, since you are connected to the glob, you and Voss both feel the desires of this creature. You have trouble parsing it. It's something completely alien. Its intentions are unfathomable. And then the feed cuts. Haley drops to the ground, unconscious.
[00:40:38] Thorne: Haley, what the hell was that?
[00:40:41] Felix: Elara, we were supposed to fill this tube with the nanofluid to escape, not open a portal to some kind of... I don't even know what that was.
[00:40:48] Thorne: I'm sorry. I don't know what happened.
[00:40:49] Felix: You could have killed her.
[00:40:52] Star Master Jeff: From the east side of the room, the goo tube that leads through the wall, your potential escape hatch, begins to fill with goo. A moment later, Dr. Voss lights up.
[00:41:03] Felix: I'm sorry to have to say this, everyone. But it's a slow fill. We'll be sitting here for a couple of hours.
[00:41:09] Thorne: Take a look at my tank. How are we doing on O2?
[00:41:13] Star Master Jeff: 60%.
[00:41:14] Star Master Jeff: So you all buckle down, knowing that you're going to be sitting around for a couple of hours. You try to breathe shallow. You try to make your oxygen stretch as long as you can. And you hope that Haley will wake up before you have to climb into that nanofluid tube and make your way further east to who knows what. And so you all hunger down. Robert sits right next to Haley on the ground and rests a hand on her shoulder.
[00:41:40] Robert: I never wanted to go down like this, but I do know something about what's going on. I've seen this weirdness before. Black metal rods, crackling energy, the whole nine yards. Oh, I know it.
[00:41:53] Felix: Where? Robert, at back of the truck stop with the cultists?
[00:41:57] Robert: No, no. Before that. Few years ago, I was with my squad in Ventos, the tail end of the Red Rice Wars. Damn, those were hot days. Hotter than Sibylen, even. More humid, too. Give me a dry heat over a jungle any day. We could barely breathe. When we could, we choked on bugs and the swarms like an ocean of little black dots.
[00:42:29] Thorne: You saw Alien Tech on Ventos? What's that got to do with Haley?
[00:42:35] Robert: Well, I suppose for you to understand, I better tell you about Haley's sister. Haley with one Y.
[00:42:43] Star Master Jeff: But we'll have to hear that story another time. So tune in next time for Robert Ross's Focus episode, where he finally spills the secret about his and Haley's military past. Well, that's it for our adventure tonight. Thanks so much for listening. Huge thanks to our cast. We have Doja as Robert, Brian as Thorn, Scott as Felix, and of course, Stephanie as Haley, and me as everything and everyone else. Whenever you hear Froggy, it's really just me being annoying. Oh, and once again, we have merch now, all designed by my beautiful wife, Casey, who also did all of our logo work. So if you'd like a pint glass from Rogers or a trucker hat from Scrapjacks, we've got it all. So stop on by at darkstaradventures.com and check out our shop. And some other news, I'm now the moderator of the SWN subreddit. So stop on by and drop me a line, say hi, and share what's going on in your own corner of the sector. We'd love to see you there. Well, thanks so much everyone for listening. And as always, take it easy and we'll catch you on the next one.