It’s Just a Prank!

Jul 29

Camiri, Part 2

Finished the episode? Hear the Star Master Log for behind-the-scenes narrative insights here.

In order to retrieve their shift from deep with Drift Rat territory, the crew have been tasked with the uncomfortable mission of pulling a prank on a rival gang, the Neon Fangs - an unbelievably nice group of kind-hearted people. Can the crew put aside their morales, execute the prank, and gain access to their ship? Or will their conscience get in the way?

Welcome to Darkstar Adventurecast, an actual play podcast set in the dangerous Veridian Expanse!

Join our crew of misfit adventurers as we continue their adventure on Camiri Four using the Stars Without Number TTRPG system.

Meet the Crew:

Jeff as Star Master (Game Master)
Brian as Captain Thorn
Stephanie as the warrior Haleyy
Doja as the pilot Robert
Scott as the transhuman hacker Felix

[00:00:00] Star Master Jeff: Welcome to the Dark Star Adventure Cast, where the stars are cold. The void is endless and dangers lurk in every shadow out here. Trust is a gamble, and survival is never guaranteed. On tonight's adventure cast,
[00:00:18] I'm trugging it down and I'm asking for a second. He said, take a leak, but I don't know if I believe him.
[00:00:23] Robert: Nobody go up in there for at least. 10, 15 more minutes. God damn, boy, I really overthought that
[00:00:30] Star Master Jeff: one. So sit back and enjoy. This is the Dark Star Adventure cast.
[00:00:41] Welcome back everyone to the Dark Star Adventure Cast. Where we last left our crew, they were on Amiri four. They had just met a very nice guard who owned a billiards hall and curious. They decided to trudge on down there. And see what it's all about. They're also [00:01:00] looking for a port to connect to that is beyond the firewall, so that they can deliver a message to the Neon Lams that show the superiority of the drift rats on this station.
[00:01:12] After doing this, the Drift rats promises them that they will give them access to the docking bay where their ship is kept. So everyone, you are making your way down the space station halls to Rogers Billiards Hall, and it's not long before you see the big old neon sign with an R on it. It tells you you've arrived.
[00:01:32] Next to Rogers is a locked door. And Felix, when looking at your network map, you can see that one of
[00:01:39] the firewalled ports that you so desire is just on the other side of that door.
[00:01:45] Felix: Are these, are these like, what kind of doors are they?
[00:01:48] Star Master Jeff: They're stout metal retracting doors. They're split down the middle and they, they kind of, they're like Star Trek doors.
[00:01:54] And they open,
[00:01:55] Felix: well, it's like the entrance mechanism, like the locking mechanism on them.
[00:01:58] Star Master Jeff: There is no handle or [00:02:00] lock, but there is a control panel next to each one of them that assumably in some way. You would interface with that to input a code or a thumbprint or something like that. You're not sure yet.
[00:02:09] Felix: So this is the famous Rogers, huh?
[00:02:11] Star Master Jeff: And look,
[00:02:12] Felix: it's right next to your door, you know? I wonder. Wonder if there's another way in there.
[00:02:16] Star Master Jeff: And you're still in the main corridor, so there's a lot of people around and it's bright, bright, bright out.
[00:02:21] Felix: All right, well we're here for the beer. Might as well go have it.
[00:02:24] Robert: Yeah, let's dip in. I heard we had free drinks just
[00:02:28] Felix: one round.
[00:02:29] Star Master Jeff: I gotta walk up to the nearest, um, staff member of Rogers.
[00:02:33] When you go inside, you try to like zone in on who a staff member is, but the first thing that hits you is that this place is actually pretty busy and you realize it is the end of this space station's day.
[00:02:44] So the lights are starting, the dim, it's getting on towards sunset and dinner, and people are starting to leave their jobs. It's pretty busy in here. There's probably 50 people in a space that's, uh, probably at capacity with 50 people, whatever that looks [00:03:00] like. A hundred square feet, we'll say there's five pool tables and there's a long metal bar that has no like front paneling, so you can see the bartender's legs as they're like walking back and forth and talking to patrons, sitting on middle stools.
[00:03:13] There is a woman in the back of the bar. Talking to Roger, and when you come in, Roger goes, Hey, and he waves you over.
[00:03:21] Hey Roger. And I go over
[00:03:24] Haleyy: Yo, Roger.
[00:03:25] Star Master Jeff: I was just telling my wife, I was explaining who, I didn't have your names, unfortunately, so I was just telling my wife, if the new people come in, they get a free drink.
[00:03:32] There's not a lot of new people around here. So these are them. These are, these are them.
[00:03:36] What a nice guy your husband is. Yeah, I was just thinking that as well. How are we gonna stay in touch? But this is great.
[00:03:42] Yeah, he's the best. He's always giving out free drinks, which is great for our business. Will it be,
[00:03:50] Haleyy: I'll take a beer and I put down five credits.
[00:03:54] Star Master Jeff: Roger says, oh, no, no, your money's no good here for the first round. Your money's perfectly good for [00:04:00] the second.
[00:04:01] Haleyy: Thank you. Thanks, Roger.
[00:04:03] Star Master Jeff: Uh, his wife, uh, takes the credits and. Pours each of you a beer. She says, welcome to Rogers. There's pool tables over there. It looks like most of them are taken up. Uh, you might be able to find one in the back and first rounds on us, of course.
[00:04:17] And we have more than just beer here. So if you're looking for potato vodka, we have potato vodka. If you're looking for potato vodka that we tried to make taste like rum, it came to the right place. And those are the three things we have. And we have water.
[00:04:33] I'll take some of that.
[00:04:34] We don't have a lot of that.
[00:04:35] Oh.
[00:04:36] Okay. Uh, I guess we could give you a little bit of our very precious water.
[00:04:40] Robert: I have a martini, but um, if you could just wave vermouth over the top us on that there. Potato, vodka. I'm real happy
[00:04:48] Star Master Jeff: you each have a beer that most of you seem to be ignoring.
[00:04:52] Haleyy: I'm chugging it down and I'm asking for a second.
[00:04:54] Oh my gosh. I
[00:04:56] Felix: slide mine over to Hailey.
[00:04:58] Star Master Jeff: Roger has moved away. [00:05:00] And his wife, oh Jesus, his wife who has failed to introduce herself. And Roger did not give her name before or now,
[00:05:10] nor did we give ours.
[00:05:11] Nope. Just kind of stares at your various ways of ordering a drink. And then the son comes over who you heard his name before as Axle.
[00:05:19] He says, Hey mom. Uh, I got these ones off. Worlders. Am I right? She kind of rolls her eyes at you when she goes. As long as your credits clink on the counter. I don't care who you are. Welcome to the neon fang territory. And she, she walks off and starts taking care of other patrons. Axel says, don't worry about my mom.
[00:05:37] She's, uh, she's been working the bar longer than I've been alive, and I think that's longer than anyone strapped to stand on their feet to work. What can I get you?
[00:05:45] Well, I think Hailey needs another beer.
[00:05:46] This is, you're Hailey?
[00:05:48] Haleyy: Yeah. My, I, I'm Hailey with, uh, two wives.
[00:05:52] Star Master Jeff: You want a napkin?
[00:05:53] Haleyy: Yeah.
[00:05:54] Star Master Jeff: Okay. He gives you a rag.
[00:05:56] Any kind of like motions at your upper lip as he's pouring you another beer.
[00:05:59] Haleyy: [00:06:00] Rough.
[00:06:03] Star Master Jeff: Hey, I know our beer ain't that good. Drink a little slower.
[00:06:08] So he's gonna take all of your orders, you, you relay the same orders that you gave before, but when it gets to Felix, a man that you didn't notice before, who's sidled up next to you at the bar, flicks out a little cylinder from his sleeve. He says, I don't know if I should say if wanna buy a death stick, but that's the situation.
[00:06:29] So we're gonna say death sticks are officially cannon in this game. And he flicks out a, a death stick and he goes, Hey ya kid wanna buy a death stick?
[00:06:37] Yeah. What are you running? You don't wanna sell him death stick.
[00:06:39] Haleyy: What's, what's a death stick
[00:06:40] Star Master Jeff: major business?
[00:06:41] He, he, he reaches into his coat and he takes out four different cigarette looking cylinders with four different colors on the filters.
[00:06:50] I got four different types. It's not just potency, it's also type of high. Now, this one, he lowers three of them. He's doing his all with one hand. He lowers three of them and [00:07:00] keeps the one with the red filter sticking up. This one will fuck you up real good. You'll be pulling a Sherlock comb. You'll be sticking around inside your house doing nothing, just being high.
[00:07:11] I don't know why. That's the druggie that comes to mind.
[00:07:16] That's the Sherlock Holmes. Really.
[00:07:18] He just spends all his time in opium dens when he is out solving crimes. The other three, well, for those of you who don't even know what a debt stick is, the green one, this will probably be good for you. I'm selling him for two credits a piece.
[00:07:31] Now the price doesn't get any better than that
[00:07:33] Felix: two credits. It's a gold mine,
[00:07:36] Star Master Jeff: Felix, I can't condone a purchase like this, but I gotta tell you that it's a pretty good deal.
[00:07:41] Felix: Yeah. I'm not asking you permission, mom. I've got some pocket money. Don't worry about it. Dad.
[00:07:48] Star Master Jeff: Everyone's a parent to Felix. There's something happening.
[00:07:51] Psych psychologically there, but I'm not qualified to tell you what.
[00:07:55] Felix: Uh, yeah. I'll take two of those reds.
[00:07:57] Star Master Jeff: Okay, two reds. It is.
[00:07:59] Felix: Aside him, [00:08:00] the credits up for my pocket. I pat, I pat 'em before the job's done.
[00:08:03] Star Master Jeff: Oh, a job you say he pats you on the back and he says, couple victory cigars.
[00:08:09] Felix: Uh, I don't smoke. It's bad for your health.
[00:08:12] Star Master Jeff: I meant the, I meant the death sticks are your cigars. It was a, it was a metaphor.
[00:08:16] Felix: Mm.
[00:08:16] Star Master Jeff: Or a symbolism.
[00:08:18] Felix: Kristen. Interesting.
[00:08:19] Star Master Jeff: Anyway, enjoy the party, I mean the bar. And he walks off, obviously I himself, Hailey, make sure you get rid of those five credits because. Axel's mom, Roger's wife did take those. Part of why Felix wanted to come in here is he was wondering if there was an alternate entrance into the spot next door.
[00:08:35] Robert: I'd like to go around kind of checking out what might be some, uh, weak competition, at least looking like that. But really what I'm looking for, our ports adjacent to one of the, uh, walls that was next to the sealed door.
[00:08:55] Star Master Jeff: Okay, awesome. So as you do that, I need you to roll. So, uh, it's a [00:09:00] dexterity exert roll.
[00:09:02] So you do actually don't do very good at the gaming. The people here probably play pool every night because there's not a lot else to do here in the Neon fang section of, uh, Camira. But near the front door where you came in, there's a lot of, you know, a a C ma on the, on the walls, a lot of paintings and, and beaded curtains and.
[00:09:21] Badges and stickers and all kinds of crap, all over the walls, but it's a very clean establishment. It's just very cluttered. Amidst all of that, near the front door on the wall, that is shared with the the room next door, you do see a port.
[00:09:34] Robert: I throw down a couple of credits just to make it look realistic.
[00:09:40] Make sure that my. Spiked neon fang hair really helps me blend in. Make my way over to Felix afterwards and point out, check out that port over there.
[00:09:52] Felix: Oh, hold on. Lemme look. I pull up my map to see if that would be a valid port for me to use for the hack. We need to deploy. [00:10:00]
[00:10:00] Star Master Jeff: It is not within the firewall, so you're actually gonna have to get inside of that room to use that port.
[00:10:05] Felix: I, I look over, I'm like, nah man, I gotta get through. I gotta get into the other room.
[00:10:10] Star Master Jeff: Well, do we see like a, a back door that goes to like the kitchen or something, or any door that goes in the direction of that hallway from inside of Roger's? Because otherwise we're gonna have to hack a door in the main hallway, and that might not be something you wanna do.
[00:10:24] So you're specifically looking around for like the kitchen and the doorway, stuff like that. So the bar is on the wrong side. It's on the wrong wall. It's on the opposite wall. Okay. Um, but there is a door that leads in that direction way in the back of the bar on the shared wall.
[00:10:39] And is uh, is Felix's map of like a physical map too?
[00:10:42] Or is it literally just a network map?
[00:10:44] It's a network map.
[00:10:45] Okay. So Robert points out the panel and Felix turns it down. I say to Felix, well, what about that door there? Does that go to the same place you think? Maybe we could check it out.
[00:10:54] Felix: Yeah. I mean, it's worth a shot. Why don't you go look, come back and let me know
[00:10:57] Star Master Jeff: what else is over there.
[00:10:58] There's a pool table with a bunch of [00:11:00] people around it, and there's a jukebox.
[00:11:03] Oh, I'm gonna go see what's on the jukebox
[00:11:05] already abandoning the mission. This game master just played you like a fiddle. You walk up to the ju box.
[00:11:14] The
[00:11:14] Star Master Jeff: jukebox is conveniently in the direction that I want to be in.
[00:11:20] Uh, there's a jukebox off in the corner and you make your way towards it. It's an old fashioned jukebox. Of course, it's all digital. There's no physical media, but it's old fashioned in the way where. A lot of the bands and singers are of several generations back, probably from when the space station was first built.
[00:11:37] Can I see that door from here? Pretty close.
[00:11:40] Yeah. It's right next to you.
[00:11:41] Is it same kind of like sliding, opening door?
[00:11:44] Yeah, it's a sliding opening door and there is a keypad. So you're, you're kind of flipping through, like you're pretending to use the jukebox as you're, as you're taking a look at it.
[00:11:51] Yeah, exactly.
[00:11:52] Yeah, so you see like the void vees, the Astro Suns, you actually recognize a couple of these. The solar wardens ended up, this is their first album [00:12:00] before they really got good, but they ended up becoming like a, a classic. So people even your age still listen to them, uh, 60 years later.
[00:12:07] Oh wow.
[00:12:08] So right now, the.
[00:12:10] Uh, song circuit Storage by black hole Bloom is just pumping over the speakers Classic. And while you're listening to that and flipping through this and observing the door, Axel walks up to the door and simply presses his hand to the, the sensor, and the door opens and he walks through and the door shuts behind him.
[00:12:27] Felix: I need his hand. May, maybe, maybe it's any hand
[00:12:32] Star Master Jeff: in marriage.
[00:12:33] Uh, a few minutes later he comes back out carrying a box and, and walks over to the bar.
[00:12:38] So I pick a classic on the jukebox. What is it? Like one credit to play a song?
[00:12:42] Yeah. What do you want? Do you want gravity? Well, Nebula cult Astro Suns,
[00:12:46] uh, gimme the gravity.
[00:12:47] Well,
[00:12:48] okay, cool. So, uh, it's like a heavy, intense. Rock band with a lot of like electronic beats. So you play their number one single that you can remember, which is Redshift Revelry.
[00:12:59] Mm, that was a good [00:13:00] one. I remember listening to that one. Uh, you know, doing admissions back, back on my home planet before I got framed and went to jail.
[00:13:08] Yeah, probably when you got your first kiss was a Redshift Reverie.
[00:13:10] Yep. Yep.
[00:13:11] Haleyy: Total bop.
[00:13:12] Star Master Jeff: It's a total bop
[00:13:13] Robert: great song to, uh, go with cutting someone's hand off. Robert's already cut hand off.
[00:13:18] Star Master Jeff: Oh my gosh.
[00:13:19] I come back to the table, uh, with this classic song playing, uh, and I say, well, it looks like they're going in and outta there with a hand print sensor.
[00:13:29] Felix: Oh, those are hard to pull. I mean, not impossible, but it's, I can't really hack in very, very easily. You know, without being noticed, and we don't even know if I can get into the system from that side. I'm like twisting my desk. Stick around on my fingers as I'm talking. One of my desk sticks. Oh, I don't know.
[00:13:47] Hailey, what do you think?
[00:13:48] Haleyy: Just don't cut his hand off.
[00:13:50] Star Master Jeff: Axel comes over as you're talking and he puts his hand flat on the bar right in front of you and he goes, Hey, do any of you need another round? His hand is just sitting there, so [00:14:00] Tantalizingly on the bar.
[00:14:02] Felix: No, I'm good boss. Thanks.
[00:14:04] Star Master Jeff: He flexes his hand slightly.
[00:14:05] It, it's right there. Just factually, there's a hand on the bar in front of you.
[00:14:09] Haleyy: I'm good.
[00:14:10] Star Master Jeff: Sure is. Yeah.
[00:14:11] Okay, well let me know if you want another drink. I'd be happy to give you a hand. And he walks off.
[00:14:17] That was eerie.
[00:14:18] Felix: He said, let them know if we need a hand.
[00:14:20] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. It's consent. And he comes back, oh, I forgot to tell you.
[00:14:23] If you need the bathrooms, they're back there. Uh, there's a little bit of a storage area. You just walk past it. There's the bathrooms.
[00:14:29] Felix: How do we get in that door?
[00:14:30] Star Master Jeff: Just wave your hand in front of the sensor.
[00:14:31] Felix: Oh, cool. Cool, cool. Alright. Good. I gotta go. So thanks.
[00:14:34] Haleyy: Thanks. I'll, I'll take another beer.
[00:14:36] Star Master Jeff: Oh, excellent.
[00:14:36] Okay. And I know my mom took credits for you. I'm gonna give you this one for free. He pours you a beer, strangely enough. Not out of a tap. They're pouring beer right out of like a jug.
[00:14:46] Felix: Ah, good old jug of beer.
[00:14:47] Haleyy: It's fine. I have Red Revel replay in the background. I have my beer in front of me and I
[00:14:53] Felix: knock that a man's hand off,
[00:14:54] Haleyy: not cutting a guy's hand up
[00:14:56] Robert: way to give us a hand axle.
[00:14:58] Yeah.
[00:14:59] Haleyy: Yeah.
[00:14:59] Star Master Jeff: So he [00:15:00] gives you the beer and he turns to you. Captain Thorn and he says, did you, I thought I saw you over there. Did you put on, did you put on uh, Redshift Ry?
[00:15:08] Yeah. It's a classic.
[00:15:09] It is a classic. I mean, I didn't think people off station would even have heard of Gravity. Well, you know, they're from here.
[00:15:15] No, I didn't know that. You're kidding me.
[00:15:17] Gravity well was my grandfather's time. But they rock so hard.
[00:15:23] It's true.
[00:15:24] It's true. It's true. Them and Nebula Cult, I just. You know, they're both,
[00:15:28] I didn't get into them as much, but you're totally right. They, they're the same kind of sound. They're both good.
[00:15:32] I, I do like Nebula cult quite a bit, but we're Gravity well walked as they say.
[00:15:36] Nebula cult rocked.
[00:15:38] Nice.
[00:15:39] Yeah. So, uh, Felix, you are walking, you're walking back to the jukebox area.
[00:15:45] Felix: Yeah, we gotta go take a leak. Um, I, yeah, I put my hand over the sensor on the door.
[00:15:49] Star Master Jeff: It opens up.
[00:15:50] Felix: I shake my head. Boy, I really overthought that one.
[00:15:53] Star Master Jeff: On the other side is a, a smallish room. Probably 15 by 15 feet full of [00:16:00] storage racks.
[00:16:01] There's all kinds of stuff back here, including jugs of alcohol, so they really trust people here.
[00:16:06] Felix: Apparently,
[00:16:07] Star Master Jeff: if you just keep walking straight 10 feet forward, there is another door that assumably runs to the bathroom on the wall to your right is another door with a key access pad on it.
[00:16:18] Felix: I'm gonna, I mean, oh, I didn't communicate with y'all before I went back here to say what kind of time I need.
[00:16:23] Oh,
[00:16:24] Star Master Jeff: you can't tell them now?
[00:16:25] Felix: I can't tell 'em now.
[00:16:26] Star Master Jeff: I hope it was 10 minutes
[00:16:27] Felix: because I'm, I'm gonna hook into the keypad on, on the locked door.
[00:16:30] Star Master Jeff: Did you tell him if it was a number one or a number two? 'cause that might tell him how long you're gonna be.
[00:16:34] He said take a leak, but I don't know if I believe him.
[00:16:36] He should be back by now.
[00:16:39] Felix: So I am, I am gonna hook to the keypad to try to open the door.
[00:16:43] Star Master Jeff: I thought you had to go to the bathroom.
[00:16:44] Felix: I, I can hold it. I'm a, I'm a big, I'm a big boy.
[00:16:47] Star Master Jeff: So You lied to Axel? Oh my God,
[00:16:49] Felix: no. He's gonna hold it.
[00:16:50] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. Okay.
[00:16:51] Felix: I had to go. I'm just gonna hold it.
[00:16:53] Star Master Jeff: Okay. With eyeballs, a float, you plug into the, the jack.
[00:16:58] Okay, so go ahead and give [00:17:00] me your programming or hacking role.
[00:17:02] Felix: It's pretty good.
[00:17:03] Star Master Jeff: Oh, damn. What a good role. So with a 10, you easily act through this incredibly low security data port, and you now have access to the lights in this room, the environmental systems of the bar, and this room and the bathroom.
[00:17:16] And you also have access to the opening, closing, and security measures of this specific door.
[00:17:22] Felix: Outta curiosity, what are the security measures of this door?
[00:17:24] Star Master Jeff: Nothing lethal. There's no like tur that pop out, but. It takes a code. If the wrong code is inputted three times the door locks down until an administrator's code is put in.
[00:17:34] Felix: I'm gonna open the door.
[00:17:35] Star Master Jeff: Okay. The door slides open and reveals the room that you could have gotten to from the main corridor. So there's a door that leads like directly across the room, leads out into the main corridor, and there's a bunch of storage boxes in here. And then there's an actual honest God computer terminal attached to the wall, not just a simple port.
[00:17:54] Felix: I step into the room. And if the door doesn't automatically close behind me, I close behind me. [00:18:00] I scan the room quickly to see if anything looks I'm being monitored in any way. And then I sit down at the computer terminal.
[00:18:06] Star Master Jeff: There is a camera in the corner. It is on a swivel mount, and it does not swivel to track you.
[00:18:12] Felix: Does its arc cover the terminal?
[00:18:15] Star Master Jeff: It's on a swivel mount, but the swivel mount's not moving. Oh,
[00:18:18] Felix: it's not moving at all. Okay. Yeah.
[00:18:19] Star Master Jeff: It's not tracking you and it's not moving and it's not pointing at you. Currently It is. Pointed at the terminal, however.
[00:18:25] Felix: Oh, okay. Interesting.
[00:18:27] Star Master Jeff: Outside the room, the, uh, Redshift ry by gravity, well ticks off and solar warden comes on.
[00:18:34] So you hear. Just a super hard rock and metal beats with the atmospheric cosmic influences of their predecessors. Kind of beaten through the wall at you here in this, this random closet in the neon fang territory.
[00:18:47] I pointed axle and then I point enthusiastically at the jukebox, like, oh, this one too.
[00:18:51] This one's really good, bro.
[00:18:53] I just thumbs up him,
[00:18:54] hang onto your butt cheeks and he pours you a free beer. His mom's Scowls.
[00:18:59] I give it to [00:19:00] Hailey,
[00:19:00] his mom's Scowls deeper.
[00:19:03] Hailey's gonna get wasted. Guys, you better be careful out there.
[00:19:07] Yeah. Hailey's on beer three.
[00:19:08] Haleyy: Beer three may just hit harder.
[00:19:10] Star Master Jeff: That
[00:19:10] unlocks her drunken master ability you don't even know yet.
[00:19:14] Yeah. Thorn doesn't drink on company time. I'm not going to jail again.
[00:19:19] You're not gonna drink for months.
[00:19:21] We'll see what happens.
[00:19:22] Felix: He's gonna do the drugs with me instead. It'll be fine. I don't have time to fuss around with the camera, so I just sit down at the terminal and I get to work.
[00:19:29] Star Master Jeff: Okay. I'm gonna need an additional programming or hacking role.
[00:19:34] Felix: That was a really bad role. I'm going to re-roll that as an expert.
[00:19:38] Star Master Jeff: Yes,
[00:19:39] yes. Call. So that's like your, that's like your special skill as an expert, right? Yeah. You re-roll a failed role.
[00:19:44] Yeah. Once per scene.
[00:19:45] Great choice.
[00:19:47] Felix: Yep. So I'm going to re-roll that and hope that it's better. That's a 10.
[00:19:53] Star Master Jeff: A 10. Nice. Okay, so you start to program and you're like, no, no, this isn't right.
[00:19:59] And you [00:20:00] back out of what you quickly realize is an incredibly amateur tracking program that was entrapping you a false road, a dead end in the code. You're going deeper and deeper along a network path that was simply gonna reveal who you are and what your motivations were. But you chopped that line of, uh, programming off and you went down a different path.
[00:20:21] You know, as I described this as a software engineer, I don't even, as a person who's been a software engineer for 17 years, I don't know how to describe. Hacking.
[00:20:34] It's pretty easy. You just have to make a gooey interface and visual Basic.
[00:20:38] Yeah.
[00:20:41] Oh. Oh, man. Yeah. There's no cinematic hacking. Yeah. The oil dripping off of your nose. Your glass is barely hanging on for dear life. You tap some things on the keyboard.
[00:20:52] Felix: I bought a second keyboard from my backpack. Yeah.
[00:20:55] Star Master Jeff: You used both keyboards at once. Four more hands come in. They're all typing it on all the keyboards.
[00:20:59] Felix: [00:21:00] Uh, no, but I, I, I locate, um, a copy of the image that I need to upload, um, on the local network. And I type in the text that I need, um, better. Oh, I didn't write it down
[00:21:11] Star Master Jeff: better. A rat in the drift than a king in a cage.
[00:21:14] Felix: Uh, the G'S so nice. He didn't made me actually remember it. And I type all that in
[00:21:17] Star Master Jeff: along with the drift rats insignia.
[00:21:19] Felix: Yep.
[00:21:20] Star Master Jeff: Do you do it in Askie or do you have a graphic?
[00:21:22] Felix: Um, I see if I can find a graphic on the local network.
[00:21:25] Star Master Jeff: Oh yeah. Yeah. There's tons of drift rats logos out there. So
[00:21:28] Felix: I find the graphic on the local network and I plugged that in. Uh, center it, nice leap of the text. Pick a nice font and get it loaded up.
[00:21:35] Star Master Jeff: You actually couldn't find a Drift Rats logo on this network, but you could find a neon fangs once you just use that and erase the fangs.
[00:21:41] Felix: Perfect.
[00:21:42] Star Master Jeff: Did you fix the colors though too? Make sure you fix the colors.
[00:21:44] Felix: I did.
[00:21:45] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. Make it red.
[00:21:46] Felix: Yep. Made it red.
[00:21:47] Star Master Jeff: Set a neon green.
[00:21:49] Felix: I set it if possible, I try to set it with a time delay to kick off in 10 minutes.
[00:21:55] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, you can definitely do that. So back out in the bar. You guys are kind of all [00:22:00] watching the door. You see patrons go in and outta there. Over the next 10 minutes,
[00:22:04] maybe we should check on Felix
[00:22:05] Axel's behind the bar, who you've been talking to, pretty intensely. Captain Thorn says, uh, Hey, where's your friend?
[00:22:11] I thought he went to the bathroom, but a lot of other people have gone in and out, think he's okay.
[00:22:16] Oh, you know, he sometimes has trouble 'cause of his prosthetics. Robert, you think you could maybe check on him? Hailey, one of you?
[00:22:24] Robert: Oh yeah, of course. I, I Sometimes I gotta pull him off the toilet sometimes.
[00:22:28] Just lemme, lemme, lemme jump in there real quick.
[00:22:31] Star Master Jeff: So Robert, you get up from your stool and you head back to the the jukebox area. You enter into the storage area, Robert, the bathroom is straight ahead of you. A man is just exiting the bathroom and he passes you with a nod and there's a door to your right which is closed and has a keypad and there's a bunch of other storage stuff back here, like a ton of beer and food and all kinds of stuff.
[00:22:52] Robert: I'm just, I'm just worried about the, the guy nodding at me.
[00:22:55] Star Master Jeff: It's just a, you know, a gentlemanly, it seems harmless.
[00:22:58] He's leaving the bathroom, [00:23:00] giving you a nod. Take that as you will.
[00:23:02] Robert: Mm-hmm. I took it some type of way.
[00:23:04] Star Master Jeff: Oh
[00:23:04] man, Robert. He's like, I just destroyed that toilet buddy. That was the Naugh he gave you.
[00:23:08] Boy, good luck in there. Oh, he was just saying.
[00:23:10] That's what I thought.
[00:23:11] He also gives you that tightlipped smile that white people give each other.
[00:23:15] Haleyy: Oh, I'm so good at that smile.
[00:23:17] Star Master Jeff: I know exactly the one you mean, dude. Yeah, I'm doing it right now.
[00:23:21] I'm doing it right now as well.
[00:23:22] Once or twice.
[00:23:24] So he gives you, he gives you that smile that we all give other white people.
[00:23:28] That is the minimal amount of recognition you could give another human the tight lip smile. And he gives you a small nod. A nod.
[00:23:34] Felix: Yeah.
[00:23:35] Star Master Jeff: He throws a little nod on there. Like it's a little like he's better than you.
[00:23:38] Felix: Does he raise his eyebrows at all?
[00:23:40] Star Master Jeff: No. Complete neutral. Oh, okay. Oh no. Yeah, the this tight smile and he just raises his eyebrows and locks them.
[00:23:46] Oh,
[00:23:46] Felix: I, yeah. 'cause that's what I do every time.
[00:23:49] Star Master Jeff: And uh, he goes back out into the bar.
[00:23:50] Robert: After he, uh, gives me that, that little, the, the, the Shining tries to, tries to give me a little, little, little, Hey, what up? I step [00:24:00] into the bathroom and
[00:24:02] Star Master Jeff: it smells awful in here.
[00:24:04] Robert: Perfect. Um, because I look at why oh, be greatest possible situation.
[00:24:11] I step out and go, who? Damn. Felix is gonna need a couple more minutes. Y'all. We need to make some space up in here. Nobody go up in there for at least 10, 15 more minutes. God damn.
[00:24:26] Star Master Jeff: Are you yelling this across the village hall?
[00:24:29] Robert: Yep.
[00:24:30] Star Master Jeff: The music is like, kind of muffling you a little bit, but people hear you and they're like.
[00:24:34] Oh. And they kind of back away from that area as you walk back to the bar.
[00:24:39] Felix: Gonna be so embarrassing for me.
[00:24:40] Star Master Jeff: So Felix?
[00:24:41] Felix: Yep.
[00:24:42] Star Master Jeff: You're finishing up in Yep. More ways than one unbeknownst to you.
[00:24:47] Felix: Um, as I finish too, because I'm thinking I'm gonna need an excuse for why I was so long. I pop one of the desk sticks.
[00:24:52] Star Master Jeff: Oh, okay.
[00:24:54] Felix: Um, and I make my way back out to the bar.
[00:24:57] Star Master Jeff: You pop it and use it or just pop it and have it?
[00:24:59] Felix: Oh, no. I [00:25:00] pop it and use it.
[00:25:00] Oh
[00:25:00] Star Master Jeff: my.
[00:25:01] So you pop it and it starts giving off this flowingly sweet smell, like melted down gingerbread cookies. Rammed up your nostrils. It smells delicious, but it's too, it's too much.
[00:25:11] It's just too much. As you leave that area, people kind of recoil from you a little bit and you have no idea why. And you, you're hobbling out and smoking your Jett stick
[00:25:22] indoors.
[00:25:23] Yeah. No one says anything to him. Ah, I mean, technically the whole space station's indoors. It's, I guess you go to smoke somewhere.
[00:25:30] There are no out of doors.
[00:25:33] The air filtration is just as good in here as it is out in the, the corridor.
[00:25:37] Felix: Uh, does the legs good? As I rub my, my hips and moves you back over.
[00:25:42] Star Master Jeff: So from this point on, until you have like a good night's sleep mm-hmm. You're at a minus one, two, your three mental stats,
[00:25:49] hope you don't need those,
[00:25:50] but you don't feel pain.
[00:25:52] So your friend Felix, has made his way back to the bar after doing something to the bathroom. According to Robert, that is Unhumane. [00:26:00] Felix doesn't seem to care. He's just, no, almost skipping up to the bar.
[00:26:05] Robert: Sometimes you gotta give a, give a courtesy flush. You might, might blow out your o-ring if you, if you try too hard like that.
[00:26:12] Felix: I o-rings are fine. Robert and I blow a puff of smoke in his face.
[00:26:17] Robert: Ooh, doggie. Okay. Uh, are we ready to get out here, y'all?
[00:26:21] Felix: I'm ready to go. Let's go. Have some more fun
[00:26:24] Star Master Jeff: as you're all exiting. Rogers. Roger is near the door and he goes, Hey, uh, are you heading out already? We're just getting started tonight.
[00:26:31] Haleyy: Wait, what's, what's the main attraction? Everyone's been talking about a party.
[00:26:34] Star Master Jeff: Oh, well, you know, we're getting on towards the weekend now, and it's the end of the day. Everyone's getting off work. Things are just gonna keep picking up and things are gonna get wilder and wilder. So
[00:26:44] Haleyy: what? Roger? Roger? You know, I'm from like a pretty backwater place.
[00:26:49] What do you mean by wild?
[00:26:51] Star Master Jeff: Oh, we're gonna do a lot of drinking. Uh huh And we're gonna play a lot of pool.
[00:26:55] Haleyy: Cool.
[00:26:55] Star Master Jeff: And probably gonna push the pool tables aside. And there's always a good, a good bit of [00:27:00] dancing that happens.
[00:27:01] Haleyy: What about fighting?
[00:27:02] Star Master Jeff: Oh, well, no. We try to keep the peace here. We don't
[00:27:05] Haleyy: really like.
[00:27:06] Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. Sorry.
[00:27:07] Star Master Jeff: And you just leave
[00:27:11] Robert: instantly uninterested. Oh wait, there's no fight club.
[00:27:15] Haleyy: Oh Jesus. Well I was worried he was gonna pop up and say something like, oh yeah, we're gonna rich you like drag some of these rat people out. 'cause I'm guys, I'm starting to get really concerned that these people are really nice. And Hailey,
[00:27:30] Felix: I say too loudly, it's a break.
[00:27:34] Haleyy: Ugh.
[00:27:36] Star Master Jeff: Anyway, we have one more important thing at least to take care of before we can party. So we're gonna go.
[00:27:41] Haleyy: Yeah. All. Alright.
[00:27:42] Star Master Jeff: Bye
[00:27:42] Felix: Robert. Well, very, very well. You're welcome back any time and hey,
[00:27:46] Star Master Jeff: welcome to Camira four, and you exit back out into the corridor and find that. The stalls have been collapsed and kind of pushed back against the walls.
[00:27:57] The lights on the station have dimmed on a timer and [00:28:00] become much warmer. Everything has a nice yellowish tint to it. It's obvious that this is their version of nighttime here on Premiere four.
[00:28:06] Felix: It's so nice out now.
[00:28:08] Star Master Jeff: Spot, a screen on a wall nearby. It seems as though your hack has taken place correctly.
[00:28:14] Better. A rat in the drift than a king in a cage is plastered across the screen with a high res image of a drift rats insignia.
[00:28:23] Felix: Look, guys, look. Ah, it worked. It
[00:28:26] Star Master Jeff: does look pretty good. Classic.
[00:28:29] Felix: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, we did, we, they wanted, I guess we can go get our ship now.
[00:28:32] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. I mean, we, we could probably just get outta here.
[00:28:35] Felix: I could choose to lie down.
[00:28:37] Star Master Jeff: Wait, wait. You see Roger and the other guard who was kind of partying in the bar with everyone as well? They, they're running at you from the bar saying, wait, come back here.
[00:28:47] What's the matter, Roger?
[00:28:49] Are you guys kidding me?
[00:28:51] What?
[00:28:51] Seriously,
[00:28:52] Haleyy: what?
[00:28:54] Star Master Jeff: Drinks were supposed to be on me, and he gives you back your five credits.
[00:28:58] Oh man, you guys need the [00:29:00] money. Stop with this.
[00:29:01] Haleyy: That was for like, Axel was just so great. It was a
[00:29:04] Star Master Jeff: fair exchange of goods and services.
[00:29:07] Haleyy: Yeah.
[00:29:07] Star Master Jeff: Wow. Don't worry about it, you know? Yeah. It looks like I'm off to a rough night and he points at the. Some drift rats got in. We're gonna have to go, you know, reboot the router.
[00:29:17] It's not a big deal, but obviously there's drift rats here, so we have to go find them. But take your five credits. I said the first round was on me. Okay. And, uh, once again, welcome to the station. You know, you're a sweet group of people and I can't wait to get to know you a bit better. You're always welcome at Rogers.
[00:29:34] Haleyy: Thanks, Roger. Thanks Roger. Oh my love to your family. Oh,
[00:29:41] Star Master Jeff: he waves goodbye.
[00:29:43] Felix: Wanna tell you guys, as we walk away, people so much more gullible than machines? Uh,
[00:29:51] Star Master Jeff: I'm worried about you, Felix.
[00:29:52] Haleyy: I wonder what's up with this wife though?
[00:29:55] Star Master Jeff: She's probably the one who has to pay all the bills.
[00:29:56] Haleyy: That's true. That was, yeah.
[00:29:58] Robert: Mm-hmm. She does the [00:30:00] books,
[00:30:00] Star Master Jeff: lemme tell you. Yeah. He doesn't know who does
[00:30:01] they're
[00:30:02] Star Master Jeff: cripplingly for.
[00:30:03] Robert: Yeah. That was gonna be, that was gonna be if they got to eat tonight.
[00:30:08] Star Master Jeff: So you make your way back up North. Docking bay is, you know, 40, 50, finding yourself at that corridor that will lead you back to docking Bay 72.
[00:30:19] Here you have that 10 foot wall of storage containers and, and metal sheeting box is still on the wall with is. Friend with his saw off shotgun. And as you round that corner, you can already hear Fox talking to his friend in that high pitched voice. Yeah. Well, and then you come around the corner, he goes, Hey, oh,
[00:30:41] the little drift rat wannabes have come back from the new lames territory. You hear what I said? I said, new la. It's pretty funny. Mine. I made that up. Did you uh, did you do the thing?
[00:30:52] It's done. I said I'd do it. Of course I did it. It's done.
[00:30:55] Okay. Calm down. Calm down. Okay. Geez. Okay. Hold [00:31:00] on a minute. Lemme go.
[00:31:00] Get old Russ Claw. We'll determine if you did the thing good enough for, for Russ Claw. Just stay right here. He disappears. Comes back a moment later with Russ Klaw.
[00:31:10] Felix: Well. I saw what you did. I had both eyes firmly planted on those screens and I was very delighted
[00:31:18] Star Master Jeff: to see when that awesome logo of the drift rats appeared all over the station.
[00:31:25] The neon lanes will never forget who the real gang and
[00:31:31] Haleyy: controller. Of Kamira. Forez will they? 100%.
[00:31:36] Felix: They were real losers.
[00:31:37] Star Master Jeff: He spits and since it's, there's no outside here. When he spits and you look down at a spit, you see there's like thousands of patches of dried spit on the ground.
[00:31:46] Felix: Nice. Which is what?
[00:31:47] Which is what Rob was rolling around in.
[00:31:50] Star Master Jeff: No, no. That was Neon F territory.
[00:31:52] Felix: Yeah. They'll probably spit.
[00:31:54] Haleyy: They're clean.
[00:31:55] Felix: They have different spit.
[00:31:56] Star Master Jeff: Well, a promise is a promise. He brings you over to the [00:32:00] side of the barricade. And a portion of it gets pushed out from the inside and you're able to walk in and then they grab some handles and they pull it back into place.
[00:32:09] It leads you down the corridor past several open docking bays. Um, most of 'em are just full of like equipment and crates. Some of them are full of like, some of them have like derelict. Fighters in them, like broken or like most likely disrepair, strike fighters, ones that probably can't run and leaves you all the way to docking base 72, the door is shut and there is a data pad, and there along the seam are countless scorch marks, bent metal, meadow pry marks blood, and then a big spray painted.
[00:32:42] Fuck this right across the front.
[00:32:45] Felix: I'm gonna put in the SD card that, that we got in the envelope into the, into the data pad.
[00:32:50] Star Master Jeff: No sooner do the contacts of the SD card touch the side of the port than there's this door just spring open instantly on extremely well oiled [00:33:00] hinges. Well, I be damned. Hey, and there's your, uh, merchant class ship in there.
[00:33:06] Of course, anything else in there is ours. But you're welcome to the ship.
[00:33:09] Felix: Yeah, I don't think there's anything else in there, but, uh, feel free. I pop the SD card back out and walk in
[00:33:14] Star Master Jeff: e and two drift rats go in with you and start poking around looking to see if there's anything else. But they're largely just ignoring you.
[00:33:21] So you go over and you use the SD card once again to open up the back. So the very, very back of the ship slides open very slowly, like a very long ramp, and that's the only way to get on and off the ship. And as it's opening, rust Claw comes over and says. So that card just opens everything.
[00:33:39] Felix: It opens what I needed to open.
[00:33:42] Star Master Jeff: I think we'll be taking this ship after all. Role initiative.
[00:33:45] Haleyy: No, no, no. I I,
[00:33:52] Star Master Jeff: that's least
[00:33:53] Haleyy: trigger word. I would, I would punch him in the face halfway through that sentence.
[00:33:58] Star Master Jeff: Yeah. Yeah. As soon as he [00:34:00] even insinuated, she was ready to punch.
[00:34:04] So I'm rolling. Initiative for two drift rats and one rust claw. These are not the two drift rats that we're manning the front.
[00:34:11] So this is not box and his friend. These are two other drift rats.
[00:34:13] Felix: Oh good. Those are our friends.
[00:34:15] Star Master Jeff: So like that they are people you have interacted with, so it's. Seems as though Russ Claw got the drop on you because he won the initiative role. He quickly pulls his knife, his uh, advanced knife from its sheath and attempts to plunge it into Felix's chest.
[00:34:33] Felix: Oh no,
[00:34:33] Star Master Jeff: he hits you for two points of damage.
[00:34:36] Felix: Oh, no.
[00:34:37] Star Master Jeff: I think we'll be taking this ship after all.
[00:34:40] Felix: Hailey,
[00:34:42] Star Master Jeff: Robert,
[00:34:44] Robert: I stepped back, gained distance, but at an angle that gives me essentially a line of sight on him as much as possible. Uh, quick draw my gun with my gun slinger ability. And, uh, shoot him in [00:35:00] the face with a combat raffle.
[00:35:03] Star Master Jeff: Oh, critical hit. Critical hit. Okay. Well, you hit him for how much damage?
[00:35:09] Robert: Looking like a 10 piece of damage.
[00:35:12] Star Master Jeff: Oh, that is so much damage. It's so much in fact that you blow a hole straight through his face out the back of his skull and leave a scorch and blood mark along the side of your brand new ship. He collapses to the ground letting go of the knife that is still embedded in your friend Felix's shoulder.
[00:35:30] Robert: You know, we, we, we knew he was gonna betray us. Let's clean these rats up. Y'all
[00:35:35] Star Master Jeff: the two drift rats. Look at each other and just run. Thorn,
[00:35:41] uh, is the door to the ship open?
[00:35:43] It is slowly opening, but it's not open yet. It's about 25% open.
[00:35:47] Is it clear to me that the other guy is about to flee? 'cause if I'm still in like reaction mode, he might get a laser in the chest before he has a chance.
[00:35:56] You're only sure that one of them is fleeing.
[00:35:58] He's getting a laser in the chest then. [00:36:00]
[00:36:00] Ah, poor guy.
[00:36:01] Yeah. Better safe than, sorry. I don't, Felix doesn't need any more holes. So I'm gonna, uh, quickly pull out my laser pistol from a holster, seeing that all this is happening in a flash, and I try to put a laser through the guy who has not yet run away and is still standing right nearby.
[00:36:16] Uh, Felix, I rolled a one.
[00:36:20] To mirror Robert's critical hit, we now have a critical miss.
[00:36:24] Yep.
[00:36:24] So you take out your gun and you go to like, quickly snap it up and take a shot and you fumble it and you're like grasping to like grab your gun and make sure it doesn't just go off in someone else's face. Felix,
[00:36:35] Felix: um, I, I just stand there reeling with the knife in my shoulder and as his face got blown off, I just look at him for a second and I go,
[00:36:44] Star Master Jeff: because you were also high as shit, right?
[00:36:46] Felix: Yep.
[00:36:47] Haleyy: Yeah.
[00:36:47] Star Master Jeff: Hailey. And
[00:36:49] Haleyy: so I'm gonna go up to the guy, nearest to me and punch him in the face,
[00:36:53] Star Master Jeff: okay?
[00:36:54] Haleyy: It's very simple, it's very straightforward.
[00:36:57] Star Master Jeff: Apply face to faces.
[00:36:58] The guy that is [00:37:00] fleeing and the guy that is near Felix are equidistant to you, so you get to choose,
[00:37:04] Haleyy: okay?
[00:37:04] I'm going to, for the guy who's fleeing, I'm running to the guy who's f fleeing. To punch him in the face. He's not getting out of this room.
[00:37:10] Star Master Jeff: Oh shit. He's
[00:37:11] Felix: got a blood rage.
[00:37:12] Haleyy: They're all the same people like,
[00:37:13] Star Master Jeff: like Felix would be fine.
[00:37:14] Haleyy: Yeah, they've got this.
[00:37:19] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, you miss with the seven. So you do three shock damage.
[00:37:22] You run up and you punch him in the side of the shoulder and you go like, Hey, at a boy.
[00:37:26] Haleyy: Mm-hmm.
[00:37:27] Star Master Jeff: And he goes, ah. And then he keeps running. The guy that's not flinging takes out his auto. Pistol and he unleashes a barrage of bullets upon Thorn who tried to shoot him a moment ago. Seven misses you, I assume
[00:37:42] It does.
[00:37:42] Yeah.
[00:37:43] A hail of bullets ricochet off the side of your shiny new ship, which is actually an old ship. But hey, it's new to you, Robert.
[00:37:50] Robert: At this point, I start moving towards the ship. I don't want anybody activating reinforcements. I shoot the guy that's fleeing, I shoot him right in the back.
[00:37:59] Star Master Jeff: Oh shit.
[00:37:59] [00:38:00] Geez.
[00:38:01] Robert: 21 to hit with, uh, 16 damage.
[00:38:03] What?
[00:38:03] Star Master Jeff: Oh my God.
[00:38:04] Oh man. So you whip up your combat rifle and once again, just decimate another combatant. Boom. You shoot right past Hailey and blow out the spine of the fleeing drift rat. He collapses against the wall and slides down to the floor, leaving a streak of blood. His spine flops out of his back and clatters against the floor.
[00:38:23] Haleyy: Haley is just like literally standing there roaring, like literally just going, rah.
[00:38:30] Star Master Jeff: I've got my handle on my weapon now for sure, but just in case, I put my body strategically behind that of my friend Robert, and keep firing at the, the guy who's shooting at me. Looks like I managed to land one with a 19.
[00:38:43] Yep. 19 hits for two points of damage. Okay. You shoot him with your laser pistol and you nick his shoulder and he goes, I didn't sign up for this. Felix, you have a knife sticking outta your shoulder.
[00:38:54] Felix: Yeah, I kind of just sit on the ground looking at the knife like, ow, wait. No. Ow.[00:39:00]
[00:39:01] Star Master Jeff: Hailey
[00:39:02] Haleyy: run up to whoever's this other guy, and I also punch him in the face. Hailey just, she's gonna get one hidden.
[00:39:08] Star Master Jeff: You sprint up to the guy who's looking down on Felix grasping his shoulder that he just got nicked on with a laser. Pistol. Yep. An attempt to decimate his nose and mouth.
[00:39:18] Haleyy: Let's do it.
[00:39:19] Star Master Jeff: Replace his brains with pure haly fist. Oh, Annette's gonna do it with a 21
[00:39:25] Haleyy: whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.
[00:39:26] Star Master Jeff: And he falls to the ground. A bloody pulp. Ah, and the crowd goes wild. You take his unconscious body and you get him in a headlock and you suplex him.
[00:39:37] You two are frightening,
[00:39:39] but he is already dead.
[00:39:40] Everyone's just watching Haley. Just do a ver uh, just various WE moves against this guy. Who
[00:39:45] Haleyy: are the rats now
[00:39:47] Star Master Jeff: and his dead body just flopping around to see people's elbows, his throat.
[00:39:51] Robert: Oh, that's just a corpse at this point. We, we, we, we gots to go. We gots to go.
[00:39:56] Star Master Jeff: And you all hop into your new ship. And [00:40:00] immediately figure out how to start it.
[00:40:02] Use the code, insert the SD card, use the code to unlock it. Open up the hanger doors and fly out,
[00:40:11] Felix: and I take the knife outta my shoulder.
[00:40:14] Star Master Jeff: Sure.
[00:40:19] The view from the cockpit is a dizzying swirl of stars. As your ship tears away from Kari four, the station's glittering lights shrink behind you, but there's no time to admire the view your sensors are screaming. Two strike fighters have broken from the station shadow. There are sleek silhouettes gleaming against the void.
[00:40:40] Bright flashes of laser fire light up the blackness as they streak towards your vessel. Close it fast. The targeting computer chirps incoming threat detected the controls hum under your fingertips as you're shipped Jolts from an impact. A moment of static buzzes across the comms before a crackling.
[00:40:58] Voice cuts through.
[00:40:59] You [00:41:00] thought you could just up and leave without saying goodbye. I don't think so.
[00:41:06] The strike fighters are faster and more maneuverable than your ship, but your vessel packs more of a punch. This battle isn't just about survival. It's a test of your crew's ability to work together under fire for the first time
[00:41:19] stations, everyone.
[00:41:21] Getting your stations. We got combat,
[00:41:23] Robert: sir? Yes sir.
[00:41:24] Star Master Jeff: I'm down to the guns. Robert, what can you tell me about these fighters?
[00:41:28] Robert: Yes sir. And I pull 'em up on screen.
[00:41:31] Star Master Jeff: Robert, you take a look at the radar readout and you ping the enemy ships as they close in on you. Once again, they appear to be two standard strike fighters.
[00:41:41] In fact, they get close enough for you to get a visual off your port bow. And you see that they have been spray painted heavily in various colors, probably gang of. Affiliations from that space station you just left.
[00:41:54] I guess those drift rats didn't appreciate how we left things.
[00:41:57] They close in and begin to fire you on, on you once again, but [00:42:00] you all get to act first.
[00:42:02] Robert: Sir, we got two migs on our port. Um, we're gonna need to take 'em out.
[00:42:06] Star Master Jeff: Only one way to deal with riff raff like this. Hailey, make sure you get those cannons primed.
[00:42:11] Haleyy: Ready for the pew pew.
[00:42:13] Star Master Jeff: Robert, make sure you keep the engines primed. We may need to move around quickly, but for now, just keep her steady, Felix.
[00:42:20] See what you can do to get. The systems in order. Haley's gonna need all the energy that she can get to fire those cannons.
[00:42:25] Felix: Oh yeah, captain God. What are all these tools? Ugh. Alright. I think everything's lined up. Trying to get all the buttons, all the systems in order new to the ship. All right, Haley, you shoot everything you need.
[00:42:37] Haleyy: Well, a gun's a gun and I shoot and I put all of my strength behind it. Boom.
[00:42:44] Star Master Jeff: Hailey's muscles flex this. She works the gunnery and brings the multi. Focal laser, which it's incredible armor piercing power to bear down on the first strike fighter, and that is a [00:43:00] hit for one damage. It's not a lot of damage, but the armor piercing is so strong that it careens straight through the strike fighters hall, slicing it like butter and dealing that.
[00:43:13] Full one point of damage to it.
[00:43:15] One full point. Nice shot. Haley. Got it girl.
[00:43:19] Haleyy: Thanks. Boop boop. Felt good. I'm going again. I'm gonna shoot that same ship. Ooh,
[00:43:26] Star Master Jeff: you bring your multifocal laser to bear on that same strike fighter once again, but you go wide. The laser shoots past the strike Fighter nicking the side of the space station behind it.
[00:43:42] Haleyy: Oof. Hope no one saw that one.
[00:43:45] Felix: Better luck next time Hailey,
[00:43:46] Star Master Jeff: the first strike fighter that you shot at swings around you frantically swing your sensors around to keep it in the clearest spot on your radar screen as it opens. Fire on your aft. It's Reaper Battery Fires out [00:44:00] in great bursts. It hits for six points of damage.
[00:44:04] Tearing through the right. Side of your cargo Bay
[00:44:08] Felix: captain, there's a crisis on board.
[00:44:11] Star Master Jeff: Talk to me, Felix, what are we dealing with?
[00:44:13] Felix: Uh, that last shot Gras our cargo bay and it opened it up to the outside. I gotta get down there and fix it right away. Or worst host,
[00:44:18] Star Master Jeff: I'll support you, whoever I can.
[00:44:19] Felix: I get up from my chair and I start running as fast as I can down and I'll, I'll deal with this on my next turn.
[00:44:25] Star Master Jeff: Okay, great. So, Felix has, has, uh, left the engineering and comms. Department's completely bereft of anyone. So you're effectively two departments short on your next turn while he runs down to try to fix this. Unfortunately, there's no one else that can do it because he is the fixer. So Felix rushes down to the cargo bay to try to stop everything from rushing out into the vacuum of space.
[00:44:50] Meanwhile, the second strike, fighter whirls around to your opposite side, flanking you, and takes a pot shot at your back engine with a 12. [00:45:00] It misses your armor class of 14, which is good 'cause it. Was ready to do some massive damage to you, the Reaper Battery or fires whizzes just over the top of your ship and off into the void of space, round two of Space Combat.
[00:45:17] What would you like to do, captain?
[00:45:19] All right, Felix, get it together. I'm really gonna need to know if you can find that Hull breach. Hailey, see what you can do about taking out that one fighter. Robert, see if you could take some evasive maneuvers. Felix, I'll take over the comms this round. You focus on finding that Hull breach.
[00:45:36] Robert, what would you like to do on your turn for your department?
[00:45:39] Robert: Well, I think I'm gonna. Keep her steady. Try to maintain course, make sure that I can get Haley as clean of a shop as possible. I'm going to do my duty
[00:45:50] Star Master Jeff: and you do your duty well. Okay. Who's next? Captain.
[00:45:54] Talk to me, Felix. What do we got?
[00:45:55] Felix: Uh, I, it's, it's all fine down here.
[00:45:58] We're all fine. [00:46:00] So Felix sits down at the whole breach with his toolkit. Luckily it'll small enough, I can, I can manage it. So I try to, I try to put a quick fix in place. So to roll fix to fix this.
[00:46:09] Star Master Jeff: Okay. Yeah. 12. Great Roll. So you spend this turn hastily putting a large piece of sheet metal over the hole that was blasted in the hu.
[00:46:18] You got it Mostly good. Some air is still escaping, but you're able to repressurize the cargo hold and have it stabilize.
[00:46:26] Alright Captain, we should be good now.
[00:46:27] Nice. That's great. I'm just going to quickly take care of the comms duties, uh, make sure that now that the breach is dealt with, uh, all the systems are coming up online.
[00:46:39] And then I'm gonna need Hailey to take a shot.
[00:46:42] Haleyy: I am going to fire the multifocal laser.
[00:46:44] Star Master Jeff: Oh, here it goes. 11 is not enough to hit their armor class. Unfortunately,
[00:46:51] Haleyy: Haley is like still feeling super psyched up from just beating that guy's face in, so she re rolls. The damage and also hits for one. [00:47:00]
[00:47:00] Felix: Nice. So using your special ability, you turn your miss into an auto head.
[00:47:07] Star Master Jeff: Unfortunately, you only get one damage.
[00:47:08] Haleyy: Yep.
[00:47:09] Star Master Jeff: But this guy is now taking two total damage. Even though he has armor, you slice through his armor like butter using the fairly weak multifocal laser. Mm-hmm. But it doesn't do a lot of damage, but it gets straight through armor.
[00:47:23] Sound effects. Okay. What?
[00:47:27] Haleyy: Meow. I don't know. It was ow. It was a laser sound. It's just it. It slowly drifting through the space.
[00:47:33] Star Master Jeff: And captain, is that everyone on your team?
[00:47:35] I think that is everybody.
[00:47:37] Okay, here comes the strike fighters. The first strike fighter that targeted your cargo hold. Targets the same area with his reaper battery and leases a barrage.
[00:47:46] Uh, 16. Is enough to hit your armor class. Take nine points of damage.
[00:47:52] Robert: Jesus
[00:47:52] Star Master Jeff: and the second strike Fighter zooms around staying on your flank and once again targeting your rear engines. The Reaper battery [00:48:00] booms in the soundness of space and hits with an 18 for nine points of damage. Don't forget to take your armor into account.
[00:48:06] By the way, you have two armor.
[00:48:08] Yeah. Well, we're gonna keep it together. I'm gonna use a captain's action of keeping it together in an attempt to protect the engines. I think that we take a hit to the cargo hole instead.
[00:48:19] Okay, so you nullify that last hit. So in an attempt to not take massive damage from this hit, you run over to the controls and pivot the strip to the side.
[00:48:28] The cargo hold on the same side that Felix just fixed, gets smashed in. But the compartment right next to it, you're not sure what was in there, but you see it venting into space. Whatever the. Previous owner had put into that cargo hold is now lost to the void.
[00:48:42] Everybody get all powers that we can to the weapons and let's try and get these guys off our back so we can get outta here.
[00:48:48] Uh, Robert, get ready to make a spike drive as soon as we're able.
[00:48:51] Yes sir.
[00:48:51] Haley?
[00:48:52] Haleyy: Mm-hmm.
[00:48:52] Star Master Jeff: We're gonna line you up for a shot. We're gonna do best we can see if you can at least finish off one of 'em and we can bring this down to a one-on-one.
[00:48:59] Okay. So what [00:49:00] are you doing Hailey? The gunner.
[00:49:01] Haleyy: I'm shooting my multifocal laser
[00:49:05] Star Master Jeff: 12 is gonna miss, unfortunately.
[00:49:07] Haleyy: Okay. Alright. Try again.
[00:49:10] Star Master Jeff: Ugh,
[00:49:10] Felix: worse.
[00:49:11] Star Master Jeff: Ugh. Four misses even wider.
[00:49:13] Haleyy: This is exactly what happened last time. Guys, we might need to move me to a different station.
[00:49:19] Felix: Do I need Robert on the on the guns?
[00:49:21] Haleyy: Possibly.
[00:49:21] Star Master Jeff: It's looking grim for you as you've lost, and we'll tap your hip points and barely scratch the strike fighters at all.
[00:49:27] They're closing in for the kill.
[00:49:28] Haleyy: Yep, we have. We have to switch it off. Ugh,
[00:49:31] Star Master Jeff: you have to. Is your team done for the turn?
[00:49:33] That's everything.
[00:49:34] Okay. Strike Fighter number one. Moves in to shoot the cargo, holds even further. Trying to just decimate that whole side of the ship. The Reaper battery booms across the void of space, hitting for six points of damage.
[00:49:46] The second strike fighter flanks you on your half side. Once again, the booms of the reaper battery. This one a misses with an eight though. Annoyed that strike fighter moves in for a closer shot next round.
[00:49:57] More of that, Robert. More of that [00:50:00]
[00:50:00] Felix: we could try to escape. Captain,
[00:50:02] Star Master Jeff: what do you think our chances are, Robert?
[00:50:03] Can you get us outta here?
[00:50:05] Felix: I could certainly try.
[00:50:08] Star Master Jeff: Alright, let's do it. Robert will send all power to the engines. Get us outta here. I will support the bridge. Felix, do your best to make sure the systems are in order and send all power to the engines. And then Haley, you cover us.
[00:50:19] Felix: Alright, A let's get
[00:50:20] Star Master Jeff: outta
[00:50:20] Felix: here.
[00:50:21] Star Master Jeff: Okay, and rolling. For them to pursue a five, because of the minus one, these unskilled pilots can't keep up with an actual Omnitech certified pilot. You rush away from them getting out of close range combat. Now a strike fighter can't shoot that far away. They're gonna have to. Sue you and succeed on the pursuit before they can attack you again.
[00:50:42] And that's exactly what they intend to do. The first strike fighter is gonna roll once again. I need you to roll that exact roll again.
[00:50:49] Felix: Oh hell yeah.
[00:50:50] Star Master Jeff: Oh man. Well,
[00:50:52] Felix: 16. Oh, good thing he rolled that too.
[00:50:54] Robert: No kidding. Jesus.
[00:50:56] Star Master Jeff: 16 and nine. They are unable to pursue you. They're [00:51:00] unable to close that gap, which means they're unable to fire upon you and it is once again your turn.
[00:51:06] Captain, what does your team do?
[00:51:07] I'm considering the, upon. Of some damage control while we have the distance, but it would be taking a risk. Let's just keep going, Robert, just keep blasting us Full speed.
[00:51:16] Robert: I, I Captain full steam ahead. Oh, that was a big 15 on that one.
[00:51:23] Star Master Jeff: The strike fighters are unable to pursue with an 11.
[00:51:25] You are now two clicks away from them. Far, far outta range. In fact, so far outta range. They turn back towards the space station. Unwilling to attempt pursuit that far away. Deeper into the sector, you have officially a. Escaped the strike fighters and Kamir four.
[00:51:53] Felix, you arrive back at the bridge after sealing up the cargo hold. You're [00:52:00] safe. You've made it outta range of the strike fighters, which you notice have now turned back towards. Kamir for Thorn is on the bridge, and of course, Robert and Haley are at their stations elsewhere. Thorn doesn't seem to have noticed yet, but your station is beeping.
[00:52:15] Quite obnoxiously at you
[00:52:17] Felix: let go. See what this is. Uh, thorn. You didn't notice it? Nevermind, uh, let's see, what do we got here?
[00:52:23] Star Master Jeff: Text reads out across an old fashioned command prompt. It reads Attention Vessel registration incomplete. Please provide a designation to finalize initialization protocols. This will be your ship's official name.
[00:52:37] Please choose wisely.
[00:52:39] Felix: Oh boy. Um, hey y'all. We got, um, one last piece of business. It looks like the ship needs a name or some identification. I should say, um, anybody got any ideas? Maybe like JTX 1275.
[00:52:54] Star Master Jeff: Is it weird to name a ship after your mother?
[00:52:56] Robert: I mean, what's your mama's name? I'm, I'm, now I'm just genuinely [00:53:00] curious.
[00:53:00] Star Master Jeff: No, wait, what about the scapegoat?
[00:53:04] Robert: I love it. A little ominous. Lemme tell you.
[00:53:07] Haleyy: A little ominous, but it's fierce.
[00:53:09] Felix: Whatever makes y'all happy. I, I just gotta punch in the words The scapegoat thorn. Yeah.
[00:53:14] Go
[00:53:14] Haleyy: for it.
[00:53:15] Felix: I start typing it in. What the hell's a goat?
[00:53:17] Robert: I still want to hear. About thorn's. Mama.
[00:53:19] Felix: Hey, watch it Robert.
[00:53:20] Star Master Jeff: The terminal reads now. Please press Y to confirm. N to try again.
[00:53:26] Felix: Last chance. Everybody good?
[00:53:28] Star Master Jeff: I just gesture a thumbs up and a smile.
[00:53:30] Haleyy: If not, we'll blame you.
[00:53:32] Felix: Let's do it.
[00:53:33] Star Master Jeff: All right. Why
[00:53:34] designation accepted registering vessel as the scapegoat. You will now be known by that to every Spaceport planet and frigate you come across.
[00:53:43] I hope you chose wisely.
[00:53:45] Tell me about it.
[00:53:46] And with your new designation. You fly off into the great void and make your way towards Dr. Larvas. That's the end of our session for tonight. Let's take a moment and hear from our crew about tonight's adventure. [00:54:00] Scott, who plays Felix. What was running through your character's mind during this adventure?
[00:54:05] Felix: Well, it was, uh, started out like an interesting day, but, you know, ended up like many others, pack of computers, did some drugs, fixed some holes in spaceships. Just overall, ended up having a pretty good time.
[00:54:17] Star Master Jeff: Stephanie who plays Hailey.
[00:54:19] Haleyy: Hailey was like crazy psyched because she's been chasing after her sister.
[00:54:22] She's in a team now with Robert Ross, who famously also worked with her on the strike, unit six, and now she's off on her own adventure, so she's excited, perhaps overly excited given her blood thirsty nature that I think she's a little shocked by. But she was also very pleased that she did, again, follow in her sister's footsteps by not being able to shoot shit in space.
[00:54:43] This went better though.
[00:54:44] Star Master Jeff: Doja who played a rubber Ross?
[00:54:47] Robert: Well, some things didn't quite go as I expected. Now it did get to get greasy. That was great. Love that everybody. Everybody knew I was a spectacular distraction. Blended [00:55:00] right in as a neon fang. Got to be a good distraction from my buddy Felix. Got to watch Haley slam some dudes, and then well, let's just say miss some shots.
[00:55:09] Ain't nothing wrong with it. What happens is everybody thorn, you ran a tight ship. Great job. That's why you're our captain. And you know what? We had to run away, not for the first time, but it's to fight again another day.
[00:55:22] Star Master Jeff: And Captain Thorn played by Brian.
[00:55:25] Well, this definitely wasn't the kind of mission I was expecting, but it's the most action that I've seen since I joined up with this corporation.
[00:55:32] Last time, a big corporation sent me on a mission that didn't go as planned. I ended up in prison for way less than what we did today. Definitely to keep my eyes on Robert and Hailey. They definitely know what they're doing and I don't want to get on their bad side. And I, I'm worried that Felix is gonna get us in a lot of trouble.
[00:55:51] Well, that's our game for tonight. Thanks for listening, and please join us next time on the Dark Star Adventure [00:56:00] Cast.