Haleyy's Story - Star Master Log: And Hug

Star Master Log

Apr 21

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Jeff breaks down Haleyy's Focus episode, where the entire session takes place inside her unconscious mind. He digs into how he designed a dream climax with no dice rolls, the hero's journey structure he used to walk Steph from denial to acceptance, and the full reveal of the mechanism behind Haleyy's identity split.

He covers:

(00:00) Introduction: "She Never Existed"
(00:48) Crew Log: Haleyy
(03:33) Fog of War: Dream combat misses, Robert trying to shoot a child, and Froggy in a bike basket
(10:15) Engine Room: Designing a climax with no dice, the hero's journey in one session
(18:50) Deep Dive: The truth behind Haleyy's identity split and what the fork actually did
(24:20) Subspace Signals: Planning for multiple endings when the player has to choose
(26:00) Star Master Spec: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

New Star Master's Logs drop every other Tuesday, bridging the gap between our main adventure episodes.

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[00:00:04] Star Master Jeff: Hey everyone, Star Master Jeff here, and welcome back to the Star Master Log. Today we're talking about She Never Existed, Hayley's story. This is Hayley's Focus episode, and it is unlike anything we've done before. The entire episode takes place inside Haley's head while she's unconscious on the floor of Exocyte 34B. The crew plays 12-year-old versions of themselves, riding bikes, fighting shadow monsters, and stumbling through a surgical theater full of Haley's private diary entries. And the whole thing ends with a hug. We'll get into all that in just a moment, but first, let's check in with the crew and hear their latest encrypted reports. I'll see you on the other side.
[00:00:48] Haleyy: Alright, looks like we're going to be landing in about 5-10 minutes. One thing I have learned the past few years is you've got to make your own family. I grew up pretty lonely. My planet was lonely, my home was lonely, and I was always looking for something more. I mean, having my main source of entertainment be, how long can I survive in the desert, probably gave me a leg up in recruitment and I probably would not have had time on my own if I had to babysit some little brother or sister, you know? I got here. Our lives before now probably don't look the way that we wish they did. Probably still don't, not entirely. There wasn't any baseball, no wandering around in the woods, making memories that we get to be nostalgic about. When Omnitech put me in charge of this unit, told me that we were the team they were gonna call when they couldn't send anybody else, I knew we couldn't be like those slag suckers wanted us to be. Couldn't treat each other like strangers. I was alone on Dahlia, and I am not alone now, and we're never going to be alone again. I don't know what's waiting for us when we get off this ship. Our omniscient overlords have once again given us fuck all in the mission brief, but that's nothing new. And it's not going to be new when I send them our report saying Haley, and each and every one of you, is all accounted for either. doesn't matter what we're heading into. Strike Unit 6 makes it through and brings it home. Every. Time. I trust you guys. I trust us. I trust that when it looks like it's the end, when I'm alone in some fucking desert, or whatever this place turns out to be, when it seems like I'm closing my eyes for the last time, I know I'm gonna wake up to your guy's ugly fucking mug. This mission has me heading off on my own for a bit in a jungle, likely to get captured and interrogated. Robert, Robbie Ross, you are on point for my retrieval. All right, everyone, go get your stuff on, but Robert, one last thing. It doesn't matter where you find me. It doesn't matter if I wake up here, wake up on Dahlia, or in Slag and Omnitech HQ. I better see you when I wake up. I'm going to need family.
[00:03:33] Star Master Jeff: So that was Haley's take on the episode, but let's take a step back and talk about what happened behind the screen. This is Starmaster Jeff, and you're still listening to the Starmaster Log. Let's talk about how that session went for me, your good old local Starmaster. We'll talk about what was planned, what I found surprising, and how much I'm actually improvising what you hear. If you're into GMing, worldbuilding, or just curious about how the story takes shape, this one is for you. So this whole episode is a dream, right? I built the environments, I planned the emotional arc, I knew where it was going. But the players are just 12-year-old versions of themselves, and I cannot control what 12-year-olds do. The character introductions were all them. I just said, hey guys, you're going to be 12 years old, describe yourselves. What I got was a nerf gun with tacks in the darts, a low-coupon deck for street duels, apparently, and a pet frog named Froggy, of course, and a flashlight called Dr. Voss. And I found it all very surprising and, honestly, hilarious. But I want to talk about some of the moments during the session after that that actually threw me. So first, Haley's combat misses. She missed three times in the tunnel fight. whiff whiff whiff that's in her own dream the master of her own domain obviously i didn't plan that the dice just did that randomly but it does accidentally create this theme of feeling powerless in her dream and i could not have written it any better than that she's swinging a baseball bat at shadow monsters and just whiffing while robert is doing somersault nerf gun kills In Haley's subconscious, Robert is an action hero, and meanwhile she can't hit anything. I don't know exactly what that says about how she sees herself versus how she sees her crew, but it's something. Second, we have Robert. Specifically, Haley's version of Robert. This kid walks up to a 10-foot tentacled figure and says, well, this guy looks friendly. Excuse me, ma'am. No hesitation. The whole table is just screaming at him to not do that. And he does not care. And a few minutes later, he even asks if he should shoot the little girl. Do I shoot a gas? Haley has to stop him. No, no, no, Robert. And Robert's like, oh, okay, not yet. Like, shooting the child is still on the table, it's just not right now. This is more wild than normal Robert is. But this is Haley's dream. And this must be how she sees him. Fearless to a fault. defaults to violence even when the target is a kid in a white dress. If it's just a little bit weird, he's on top of it with a gun and a spray of bullets, and she's always the one trying to rein him in. That dynamic exists in the real campaign, but watching it play out between two 12-year-olds is really something else. Third, the diary scene. So here's something the audience doesn't know. Before we got to the surgical theater, I messaged everyone except Stephanie one piece of direction. I told them, be weird with the diary pages. Remember, you're a part of Haley. You're not yourselves right now. Steph had no idea what was coming. That confusion you hear in her voice when they started reading her diary entries was completely real. She didn't know I told the others to turn on her. That's all I said. I didn't tell them to read the entries out loud. I didn't tell them to refuse to stop when she asked. I didn't tell Brian to find an entry about a towel and read it with a straight face. I just said, hey guys, be weird with this. Make her feel weird. And they took it and they ran with it. Scott started reading in that flat, dreamlike voice. We already know. We don't have to read them. We were there. We are there. That's all him being a freaking weirdo. And then there's Thorne and Felix comparing papers while Haley's genuinely trying to just rip them out of their hands. That was all them. I kind of just sat back and watched. I wrote the scene expecting them to be supportive of Hayley, protect her privacy, gather the pages. But of course, no plan survives contact with the players. They instead leaned into being dream figments, and the violation of it made it ten times more powerful than what I planned. Haley isn't just exposed to the audience because I planned it. She actually ends up being exposed by her own crew, by the people she trusts the most. Because in the dream, they aren't really her friends. They're pieces of her struggling to break free. Oh, and then there's Froggy. Brian introduces a pet frog named Froggy in his bike basket. I give a quick ribbit. And then nobody mentions Froggy for the rest of the episode. Dream Haley has the same policy towards Froggy that real Haley does. Just a, okay, he exists. And then whoop, he no longer exists. Just pretending he's not there. She really, really doesn't like him. Man, that poor guy just cannot catch a break in any reality. So I wanted to talk about the end of the episode next, because it required a completely different design approach than anything we've done before on this podcast. Every Focus episode so far has had a conventional climax. Felix has had the data vault. Thorne had a betrayal and a firefight. Robert had a full war movie extraction sequence. There's dice rolls, skills being checked, things blowing up. That's the language of a tabletop game. Totally normal. We've all seen it a million times before. The system gives you mechanics for everything we did in all of those Focus adventures. But there are no mechanics for a hug. Haley's focus episode ends with her sitting on the edge of her childhood bed next to a mirror image of herself, a girl with her same eyes, her same hair, who tells her the truth. You never had a sister. You died. And when you came back, your brain invented someone to fill the gap. And then the mirror image puts her arms out, Haley hugs her, and the two identities merge. No combat, no skill check, no dice, just Stephanie saying, and hug. So how do you design a session where that's the climax? Because you can't force it. I couldn't have told Steph at any point, hey, your character needs to accept the truth of herself and hug her mimic self, her duplicate self, the way she sees herself in her mind. It would have felt hollow and not genuine. You have to remember, we're not a bunch of theater majors. We're not even professional improvers. Well, I guess maybe we kind of am since we have a podcast. But the point is, these are role players, and we want genuine reactions at the table. The player has to arrive at that moment on their own. That means I have to build an entire dreamscape that would take Haley from denial to acceptance without ever telling Steph that that was what I was trying to do. The structure I use to do that is actually very old. And I mean really, really old. Like Joseph Campbell's Hero with a Thousand Faces old. Exploration of the monomyth, the hero's journey. I think most GMs know this on some level, even if they haven't read Campbell. You've all seen Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and basically every story where someone leaves home, faces trials, comes back changed. You've experienced the monomyth. But what I think is interesting about this episode is that Haley goes through the entire hero's journey in a single session, and she does it inside her own head. So just to run you through it real quick, the bedroom is the ordinary world. The datapad call and the signal that Felix finds is the call to adventure. The tunnel closes behind them, and that's the crossing of the threshold. And when the walls start closing in, she's really just in the belly of the whale. The antlered entities are part of the road of trials, guilt fragments that the crew fights with childhood weapons. I wanted them to win that fight easily because in the monomyth, the road of trials is preparation, not the real test. veridine laboratories is the approach to the innermost cave every image there is something from haley's real life twisted through dream logic as her the tentacled figure is the alien entity that spurred this change the aurora is obviously from her real life but inside of it is her mother someone she hasn't seen in years The building has no roads coming in or out of it because it doesn't exist in a real place. The surgical theater is the ordeal, Campbell's central crisis. I already talked about this in a previous section, how I directed the other players to be weird with the pages and Steph had no idea what was coming. But from a design perspective, that scene exists because I needed the dream to strip Haley down to nothing before giving her her true choice. Because it's tough to offer someone a revelation if they're still holding on to the past. So after the pages, the dream takes everything away. No friends, no monster, no audience. Just a bed, a window, and a girl with Haley's face. Campbell calls this the revelation. The truth is simple. You are not two people. You never had a sister. This is the way forward. So I sat there and I waited because this is the moment. Either Steph has Haley resist and we get an ending where she remained fractured she leans in and haley decides to try on a different future and i remember steph pausing a real genuine pause not a dramatic pause for the audience she was deciding she asked what would happen her duplicate said i don't know and then steph said i have to keep moving forward that's what i have to do let's see what's next and then they hug Her saying, and hug. Two words as the culmination of the entire episode. That's the whole climax. No dice, no check, no contested roll. Just a choice. And I think it hit harder than any combat encounter we've run because the stakes were entirely internal. Haley wasn't fighting an enemy. She was fighting the story she's been telling herself for years. And the resolution wasn't winning. It wasn't force. It wasn't strength. It wasn't punching. It was simply letting go. If you're a GM listening to this and thinking about running something similar, I think the only thing I can tell you is build the path, trust the player, and then get out of the way. Because ultimately, it's their story to build. I don't think you can script a genuine emotional moment. You can set up the conditions and hope that your player meets you there. And Steph met me there, and I love her for it. So now that the Haley merge has happened, I can finally pull back the curtain on the mechanism behind Haley's identity split. This has been building since episode three, seeded in Robert's flashback, and it's one of the longest running mysteries in the campaign. Spoilers ahead, obviously, for everything up to this point. So here's what happened on Ventos. Haley, with one Y, was imprisoned on Ventos. Robert's clone squad extracted her. But during the extraction, she touched an alien fork. Not one of those two-tined void cultist versions. A three-tined fork. The real thing. The original article. An alien pericausal bifurcation array. And it did something to her. She didn't know what. Nobody did. The squad escaped the cave, she got shot down by an anti-air mech, and Haley ended up under a bush with fatal injuries. Robert stuck Lazarus patches on her, but she was clinically dead. And then she healed. Her body knit itself back together in ways that Lazarus patches cannot explain. That's what we saw in Robert's Focus episode. What we didn't see is what happened after. Veridine recovered her. They brought her to a black site. They ran tests. They cut her open and watched her heal. They documented the crystalline microstructures forming in her brain. They tracked the biosionic energy building in her nervous system. And through all of it, Haley was confused. Not about the tests or the pain, but about herself. Because the fork didn't just heal her. It somehow changed the architecture of her consciousness. The best analogy I have is this. Imagine your brain is a hard drive, and the fork reformatted it. All the data is still there, but the file system is different. The old Haley, the soldier, the woman who touched the fork and died on Ventos, is still in there. But the brain that rebuilt itself around that data organized it differently. It created partitions. And into one of those partitions, the brain placed everything that didn't fit the new structure. The trauma, the death, the inexplicable healing, and the missing time. And then it did what brains do. It confabulated. It invented a story to explain the partition. I had an older sister named Haley with one Y. She went missing, and I'm Haley with two Ys. I'm the younger one. The dead sister was never real. There was never a Haley with one Y who was a separate person from Haley with two Ys. There was only ever one woman, and the fork broke her sense of self so thoroughly that her brain invented a second identity to cope. Every memory of a sister is fabricated. The bat isn't her sister's. It's hers. The childhood isn't shared. It's singular. So what did the dream do? The dream forced the two partitions back together. The tunnel, the laboratory, the surgical theater, all of that is the dream's way of processing the merge. The antlered entities are guilt fragments, manifestations of the identities she's been suppressing. The girl holding the alien's hand is a memory of touching the fork, filtered through the child's perspective. The diary entries being read aloud represents the partition walls thinning, the private self becoming visible. And the mirror image on the bed is the partition itself, made into a person. When Haley hugs her, the partition dissolves, and the two file systems merge back into one. She didn't gain a new identity, she reclaimed one that she lost. And so with that, the identity split is resolved. Haley is whole again. But what remains a mystery is the fork's influence on her body and mind. That is still not resolved. The crystalline structures in her brain, the biosonic energy coursing through her body, her latent healing abilities, the void cultists calling her untethered back on scrapjacks. All of that is still there. The merge fixed the partition, but it didn't undo whatever the fork on Ventos started. And that's all I'm going to say about where this goes. But pay attention to the forks. Pay attention to the orbs. And pay attention to what Victor Strake means when he says, I had no idea how valuable you were. Because he's not talking about her combat skills, folks. So with that, let's jump into this week's Subspace Signals. This week's signal comes from Sam on Reddit. Sam asks, have you ever planned a big reveal or character moment and had a player react completely differently than you expected? How did you adjust? Oh, Sam, I know you submitted this question a while ago, but I decided to save it for this episode because I think it perfectly slots in with what we're talking about here. So I designed Haley's Dream with a specific emotional trajectory. Denial, confusion, vulnerability, and acceptance. The whole dreamscape is engineered to walk Steph's character from, I have a sister, to, I am my sister, over the course of about four hours of playtime, which distilled down to about 60 minutes of podcast. And I had two endings semi-prepared. Ending one. This is the one we got. Hayley accepts the merge, she hugs her mirror self, the identities fuse, and she wakes up whole. Ending two. Hayley refuses. She fights the mirror image. The dream collapses into something darker, more violent. And here the merge would likely still happen, but it's traumatic rather than cathartic. She wakes up still partially fractured, confused, angry, and maybe even with her burgeoning biosionic abilities malfunctioning. That was a just-in-case plan. I was pretty sure that Hayley was going to take ending number one. So earlier in the Star Master log, I talked about Steph's pause, so I won't repeat the whole thing. But the point for Sam's question is, I didn't know which ending was going to happen until it happened. I was genuinely prepared for Steph to say no, and that would have been valid too. It would have been a completely different episode, and we'd be in a very different place going forward into the next session, but it would remain organic and authentic to Haley's experience. So to answer your question, Sam, I don't think the adjustment happens after the player surprises me. I think that you sort of just have to build it into the session from the start. Think through all the paths that could happen and make sure you plan out the ones that you think are most likely, but be prepared to go off on a wild goose chase if they do something that you didn't prepare. Know where all of those paths lead. Trust the player to pick the one that's right for their character and don't assume which one that is. And then, whatever they pick, lean into it like you planned it all along. If you want to send a signal for the next log, head on over to patreon.com slash darkstaradventurecast. Our patrons always have priority in the queue, but I do pay attention to all our socials. Drop us a line on Blue Sky, send me an email, check us out on Reddit. Your question just might be the next one we intercept. So before we close the log, I want to leave you with a Star Master spec. That's a book, movie, or other piece of media that connects to this week's episode. So this week I want to talk about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 2004, Michael Gondry directing, Charlie Kaufman writing, Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet. If you haven't seen it, go and watch it. Right away. I'm serious. I think it's one of the best films anyone's ever made surrounding memory and identity and trying to explain why it works will ruin the experience of watching it for the first time. So spoilers abound. If you haven't seen it yet, skip this section or pause it, watch it and come back to this podcast later. Okay, so for those of you that are still here, the premise. Joel discovers that his ex-girlfriend Clementine has had him erased from her memory using a medical procedure. In a moment of heartbreak and spite, he decides to have her erased from his memory. The bulk of the film takes place inside Joel's head as the procedure runs, and we watch his memories of Clementine dissolve one by one. But partway through, Joel changes his mind. He doesn't want to forget. And he starts trying to hide Clementine inside of his own memories, dragging her into childhood recollections and buried corners of his mind to preserve her. Not only just an incredible idea with an incredible screenplay, but an incredibly romantic movie that will leave you in tears. So to map this onto the adventure, the surgical theater scene is a direct comparison to the memory erasure sequences from the movie. Haley's private thoughts exposed under a spotlight, Joel's private memories disintegrating under a medical procedure. Both of them are watching their inner lives get taken apart in front of an audience, and both of them are fighting to hold on to something. But I think it goes a bit deeper than that. The real question of Eternal Sunshine isn't, can you erase someone from your memory? The real question is, would you choose to be yourself, even knowing what that costs? In the movie, Joel has every opportunity to let the procedure finish. His relationship with Clementine was painful. They probably shouldn't be together. His memories of their time together really hurt him, and erasing them would be easier. But he fights to keep them, because those memories, even the painful ones, are what make him who he is. Even though there's a romantic streak in this movie, and it feels like he's trying to hang on to Clementine, what he's really choosing is to hang on to that pain, because living through that pain is what made him who he is today. Haley faces the same choice. The partition in her mind is a kind of erasure. It has been protecting her from the truth about who she is. She could stay in that partition. She could keep being Haley with two Ys, the woman with a dead sister, and never confront what the fork actually did to her. That would be easier. But she chooses to merge. She chooses to be whole, even though being whole means accepting that her entire identity has been built on a lie. Both stories land in the same place. Joel runs through his own mind trying to preserve what's real. Haley walks through a dream trying to find out what's real. And both of them end up choosing the painful truth over the comfortable fiction. That's not an easy choice for either of them. And I don't think the film or the episode pretend that it is. There's also this structural thing that I love. Eternal Sunshine uses the collapsing dreamscape. Memories are literally crumbling and reforming around Joel as the procedure progresses. And Haley's Dream does the same thing with a tunnel that doesn't end, the building with no roads, the surgical theater that appears when a lobby should be there in its place. Space bends around emotional truth instead of physical reality. Dreams are nebulous. You don't walk through a door into a surgical theater. You walk through a door into a feeling that a surgical theater represents. Exposure, vulnerability, being cut open and laid bare for all to see. And the fact that this surgical theater was populated with faceless beings is all the more evidence for this truth. So Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Go watch it. Seriously. If you connected with Haley's episode at all, Eternal Sunshine will hit you in that same spot. And then watch it again. Because honestly, it's better the second time. In the next episode of the Dark Star Adventure cast, the crew find themselves in handcuffs. Victor Strake is standing over them, and he's got five soldiers, Dr. Vos' orb in hand, and he's smiling because he thinks his chase is finally over. And then Thorne does something that I genuinely did not think would work. He pulls a clause out of interstellar corporate policy, quotes it to Strake's face, and the power dynamic flips on its head. After that, it's the auction. New factions, big money, and a crew with 24 hours of borrowed freedom trying to figure out how to turn a legal loophole into an escape plan. It's a very different kind of adventure than we'd done before. Less punching, more scheming. Finally, something for Thorne to do. All this and more on the next Dark Star AdventureCast. Thanks so much for listening, and I'll catch you on the next one.