I'm Not Angry, I'm Disappointed

Aug 4

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Three days in the fuel queue, and Felix hasn't left his data slab. When he cracks open what Voss left buried in Strake's transmission, the crew punches in the coordinates and doesn't look back. Eighteen days of transit, one unmarked station in a dead red system, one ship AI with a gift for fake names, one convincing Victor Strake impression, and a server room full of things Virodyne doesn't want them to read.

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Meet the Crew:

Jeff as Star Master
Brian as Captain Thorne
Stephanie as the warrior Haleyy
Doja as the wildcard pilot Robert
Scott as the transhuman hacker Felix

Special thanks to Brad and Holly, our Scapegoat Syndicate members!

They're keeping the lights on, and the airlocks sealed.

[00:00:01] Star Master Jeff: Welcome to the Dark Star Adventure Cast, where the only thing standing between you and the Black is your ship and the strength of your crew. Void help us all.
[00:00:10] Felix: No, Haley, you can't.
[00:00:12] Thorne: You're not stronger than the vacuum of space.
[00:00:14] Haleyy: We have to stick together. We are not going to be balls.
[00:00:18] Thorne: Felix is not a torpedo.
[00:00:21] Robert: Grip it and rip it. Let's do it.
[00:00:31] Star Master Jeff: Three days in the fuel queue, the scapegoat drifts at the tail of a long column of ships circling Sibylline, the station rotating in the distance, dispensing fuel the same as it has for 40 years. Nobody out here is in a hurry, except for you. Felix hasn't left his data slab. Three days on the same file. Strakes outbound transmission, tearing it apart, looking for some clue to where he may have taken Voss. And on day two, he finds it. Pulses, buried in the carrier wave. So fast, and so high, they don't register as sound at all. Just blips on a waveform. He slows it down. Plays it back. Hundreds of them. Grouped. Looping. Cycling through the entire transmission while Strake and the crew argued. Felix would recognize those mechanical chirps anywhere. Dr. Voss. She put it there for Felix to find.
[00:01:33] Felix: Realizing this, Felix raises my hands. Yes, yes, yes. I knew it. I knew there was something here. Yes. I spin around in my chair a few times, whipping my arms out, pointing at Robert, Thorne. I found it. I found her. What? What are you talking about? Boss, she left us a message. I know these little chirps anywhere. Wait, you found her? A message? A message, yes. But I'm not quite sure what it means, to be honest. I'll have to spend a bit more time with it. I mean, look. Here, and I wave them over. You see these these numerical pulses, it's it's numbers, but they're repeating. I just I'm not quite sure what they mean yet. Maybe it's some kind of coded message.
[00:02:15] Robert: Maybe it's... Felix, those are spectral coordinates. It's just repeating over and over. Are you sure, Robert? Spectral coordinates? I mean, it's the same format. Hang on, hang on.
[00:02:28] Thorne: Let me see what I can do. And I start just trying to pull up the location of where those coordinates might lead.
[00:02:34] Star Master Jeff: If they are spectral coordinates, which they do fit the pattern, they lead to a sector of space with nothing in it.
[00:02:42] Thorne: I don't know, Felix. I mean, even if that is coordinates, it seems to lead into the middle of nowhere. It's just a path through New Lucerne to this empty patch of space. Although, New Lucerne, that's your old stomping grounds, right? Yeah.
[00:02:56] Felix: If it is drill coordinates, and it seems like it isn't resolved into this path, Elara wouldn't just send us to nowhere. There must be some reason for us to go here, even if we have to go through blasted New Lucerne.
[00:03:09] Thorne: Alright, well, I mean, taking a look at this... Yeah, I mean, it'd be, what, three jumps? So maybe a few weeks, 18 days, probably? We'd have to go here to Polyfin, then to New Lucerne, and then to wherever the heck this place is. It's almost our turn to fuel up, so maybe we just punch him in and see what happens. I trust Voss.
[00:03:30] Robert: By the way, do we think Victor might have planted these? He did mess something up fierce with the coat.
[00:03:36] Thorne: Yeah, you read my mind a little on that one, Robert.
[00:03:40] Felix: The way this code was buried in the transmission, like layered over what Strake was sending. There's no way he's smart enough to do that. He's just some meat sack.
[00:03:50] Thorne: Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, they say.
[00:03:53] Robert: Grip it and rip it. Let's do it.
[00:03:56] Star Master Jeff: So Haley is missing from the bridge. And Haley, you are actually down in the med bay with Isotope. We enter into the medbay where Iso has just completed doing another brain scan on you using the equipment that was already present on the scapegoat. You sit up on the bed as she's saying, your brain ain't looking too good. I mean, these crystalline structures, they're growing. Even though all your vitals look good, I got to tell you, your brain's turning into a rock.
[00:04:28] Haleyy: When do you think it's going to hit something important?
[00:04:32] Star Master Jeff: Well, it's your brain, Haley.
[00:04:34] Haleyy: I know it's all important, but my brain's already a little fried. You remember the whole two whys thing I've had going on?
[00:04:41] Star Master Jeff: Yeah.
[00:04:42] Haleyy: Yeah.
[00:04:43] Star Master Jeff: She hops up on the bed next to you. And now, Haley, I know there's a lot of weird things going on in your brain, and I don't have all the answers, but if you're feeling okay, it's probably not too bad just yet.
[00:04:57] Haleyy: Do we know how fast it's growing?
[00:05:00] Star Master Jeff: pretty fast. I think that the crystalline structures, if they keep growing at the rate they've been going, will probably completely consume your brain sometime the next six months.
[00:05:10] Haleyy: I'll just have my head will be a box of rocks.
[00:05:16] Star Master Jeff: Well, I don't have the tools to know that without actually cutting you open or getting better medical equipment, which I've already put an order into your wonderful Captain Thorne. But in the meantime, you're happy, you're healthy and your vitals are good.
[00:05:29] Haleyy: Am I going to end up like Froggy?
[00:05:31] Star Master Jeff: I don't think what happened to you and Froggy are really the same thing. You said that something happened with some sort of alien fork. Yes. Same thing happened to him, but very different results. Probably because he's a big wet noodle and you're not. You're just a lot stronger than him, Haley. And something's different about you. You resisted it. I don't know if his brain's turning into a rock, but honestly, I couldn't tell you if his brain wasn't a rock before. I've been unable to get in to see him. He just keeps calling out for Vera, Vera.
[00:06:02] Haleyy: Well, we do have Vera, but Felix locked her up. We're not sure what to do with her. She used to be like one of his best friends, it seemed like. And now she's an orb.
[00:06:15] Star Master Jeff: Right. Well, I'm really happy I teamed up with y'all.
[00:06:19] Haleyy: We're so sorry, Iso. We promise it'll be okay.
[00:06:23] Star Master Jeff: You know, you bombed out my place of work, got bombed out, and I had to leave my wonderful life on the desert planet of Sibylline for the void of space. You know, honestly, this ain't much of an improvement, but you know what? I'm happy to be teamed back up with you, Haley, even if I have to put up with that actual butt of a man, Robert.
[00:06:41] Haleyy: Honestly, same. I need familiar faces around. And there's a lot going on. Oh, and if you hear anybody say the words unhallowed or tethered, just walk away immediately.
[00:06:54] Star Master Jeff: I'll run the other direction. Yes. And she hops off the bed and she says, at any rate, I can't believe you've been hanging out with all these men all this time. Must be nice just to have another sane person around.
[00:07:04] Haleyy: It really is. It so is. And...
[00:07:09] Thorne: All right, listen up, everybody. It's our turn to fuel. Once we're done, you better be ready for an immediate spike drill. Oh, we have a lead on Dr. Voss. You might want to get to the bridge as soon as you're ready.
[00:07:21] Haleyy: Iso, just for reference, Voss is another orb.
[00:07:27] Star Master Jeff: Oh. Now, what's with all the women being turned into balls around here? That's all I'm going to say about that.
[00:07:32] Haleyy: We have to stick together. We are not going to be balls.
[00:07:38] Robert: Y'all know y'all are on comms right now. God damn it, we're spiking out of here.
[00:07:42] Star Master Jeff: So you spend 18 days in transit. During that time, Froggy won't leave his nest. He just keeps asking for Vera. Nobody really has an answer for him. Iso quietly tears apart the medbay and starts to put it back together in some semblance of order, all the while bitching and moaning that she needs upgraded equipment. Haley spends time at the weapon station or punching girders in the cargo bay until her knuckles bleed, and Felix, you haven't left your data slab. Every search on Prometheon comes back empty, exonet or no. There's nothing out there to prepare you for what's coming. Robert, you barely leave the pilot's chair. You simply watch in the dark and thinking about all that transpired on Sibylline. Thorne walks the ship at odd hours, sleeping during the day, awake most of the night. Corridor to corridor, pacing, the blackness of space completely flipping his sleep schedule on its head. and a scapegoat moves through empty space toward a name no chart carries. The system resolves out of the spike drill as a dim red sun, barely more than an ember, orbited by a loose ring of asteroids. No planets. No traffic. Nothing out here but rock and dark. Suddenly, the comms link blinks on, unprompted. An automated ping, completely unsolicited. And the nav screen populates, one letter at a time, Causeway 3. Virodyne Automated Routing Station. Current drill paths to all active Virodyne installations. Updated continuously. Authorized vessels only. Immediately, you notice that the scapegoat's ownership module comes back flagged. Access denied. Authorities notified. Oh, no. Vacate the system immediately. They should have known.
[00:09:47] Felix: Thorn, Robert, Haley, we've got a problem. They know we're here, and we're not supposed to be here.
[00:09:54] Thorne: Yeah, but it said access to all stations, right? I mean, does that mean that we can get where we need to go as long as we can find access?
[00:10:01] Robert: I don't want to stay here, but one and two, they've already said something to the authorities. So leaving right now ain't doing shit. We might as well figure this thing out.
[00:10:15] Haleyy: Did it actually send a message out?
[00:10:18] Robert: Right.
[00:10:18] Thorne: It said it did, but did it really?
[00:10:20] Star Master Jeff: Mm-mm. Good call, Haley. There's currently an open communications channel, which you're able to trace back to a specific spot. However, scanning, if there was a burst communication sent out before they even communicated with you, it would be impossible to know at this point. Yeah, that feels like bullshit to me.
[00:10:42] Felix: Mm-hmm.
[00:10:43] Star Master Jeff: By scanning the communications channel, you are able to visually inspect the area where the communication is coming from. And hidden amongst the asteroid belt, there is a short cylinder, dense with antenna arrays along every surface. It catches the light from the dim red sun. There is a flat end that faces you. It appears to be some sort of docking ring.
[00:11:09] Felix: Well, that's where this is coming from. We're gonna take a look. I suggest we hurry up and get over there.
[00:11:15] Robert: Uh, Felix, um, how close is, like, authorities from New Lucerne to being able to actually intercept us at this point? Because, like, do we have a time period? Do we have a couple hours? Do we have a couple minutes? Do we need to get the fuck out of here?
[00:11:32] Felix: I mean, I don't know all the systems in the area, but I mean, you know, as well as I do, jumping from system to system, you know, we're probably talking hours, if not days, unless they're like they could be on the outskirts of this system.
[00:11:46] Robert: Yeah, I mean, I'll give it to you. When we looked at it, it didn't look like it was a very populated space. What do you all think? I do want to get in and get out. I can I think I might be able to docker.
[00:11:57] Thorne: Yeah, it's probably for the best. We don't have any idea what authorities may or may not show up. And if Alara's here, we have to get her. And even if she's not, there could be an answer for how we find that Promethean station here.
[00:12:10] Robert: She didn't give us these cords for no reason. Captain, I'm taking her in. Y'all, the causeway system, haven't used this one before. I don't know causeway one, two, I definitely don't know three, but everybody, all the pilots know we've got the causeway system. If you have the right ownership module, they give you the cords to your next location.
[00:12:37] Thorne: You're talking about like a secret trade route. I think I've heard of this sort of thing before, actually. Maybe my mother mentioned something about it. Corpos defends this type of information like to the death. This is not something that they would let slide easily. No wonder they said they alerted the authorities right away.
[00:12:53] Robert: Yeah, but at the same time, that tells me that if the authorities are coming, it's Virodyne security. They ain't gonna tell just anybody about one of these stations.
[00:13:05] Thorne: Well, let's see if we can set her down and we'll start there.
[00:13:07] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, let me see if I can take her in. So you take the scapegoat closer to Causeway 3, and as you near, you start to initiate a docking sequence, and Causeway 3 alerts you that your docking sequence is denied, and it will not open the hatch to enter the actual Causeway 3 space station.
[00:13:28] Felix: Do we have capabilities slash does it exist in this world that I can like try to override what it's doing like remotely gain access to the system? No, everything's very plug and play.
[00:13:40] Star Master Jeff: You probably need a line shunt.
[00:13:42] Robert: Yeah, well, Felix, I mean, I can I can ferry you over there and try to hold you on to the station. I'm good, Robert.
[00:13:53] Thorne: All right, let's try to get in there without doing any kind of spacewalk. Is maybe that possible? Well, boss, I don't know if we have...
[00:13:59] Felix: I have to check the inventory. I don't know if we have the gear to get out in the vac. Well, let me ask you this. Who's the Life is Unfair registered to? Oh, I changed that registration. Oh, yeah, we had all those extra ownership modules, huh? Yeah, I didn't want them to trace us. I mean, that's how they got us on the go. And you guys do have vac suits for everyone. Okay. So while Walthorne's asking that, I look up. Okay, all right, we do. As long as Froggy didn't get into them, we do have enough vac suits. Well, at least for most of us.
[00:14:29] Thorne: So you three are telling me the only way we're getting in this place is through the vacuum.
[00:14:33] Felix: I mean, yeah, we can't dock.
[00:14:37] Robert: I mean, I might be able to, if we can like stick Haley out one of the like exhaust ports and I could like fly it real close and then she could like punch her way in.
[00:14:50] Felix: Robert, Robert, that's, I know you think very highly of Haley, but she's not getting through a vacuum door. No, Haley, you can't.
[00:14:59] Haleyy: I can do this.
[00:15:01] Thorne: You're not stronger than the vacuum of space. I feel like the goat's weapons could tear through the station faster than your fists, no offense.
[00:15:07] Felix: Ooh, that sounds fun. We need to get in without exposing the interior to the vacuum of space. What if Dr. Voss gets blown out? We're never gonna find her.
[00:15:17] Robert: She's not in there. She's definitely not in there. This is one leg in the Easter egg hunt.
[00:15:24] Felix: Even if we blast it open, we still have to go in the vac suits and then we have to stay in them the whole time we're in the station. Whereas if we go in the suits now, we go over, I hook into the outside of the station and I open the door the normal way. You are the door guy. That is true.
[00:15:40] Thorne: I've heard that. So let me open the door, Robert.
[00:15:44] Robert: You know what?
[00:15:45] Thorne: You are correct, sir. All right. So, Robert, how close can you get us to one of those airlocks?
[00:15:51] Robert: I thought we were gonna shoot him over with a grappling hook, like a missile. Could we stick you on a rocket?
[00:16:02] Thorne: Felix is not a torpedo.
[00:16:04] Star Master Jeff: You guys don't have a grappling hook, and you don't have a human-sized torpedo bay. Okay. So Felix is going over alone is what it sounds like to start. Yeah, there's no reason for anybody else to come out. Felix suits up, and during that time, Robert gets into position, hopefully. So Robert, go ahead and roll your pilot. Wisdom. Pilot Dex.
[00:16:28] Robert: Dex, yes. And that was your mistake. And I rolled a six. Sweet Jesus. He killed him. He died. I'm sorry. Sorry, Felix.
[00:16:41] Star Master Jeff: You're dead. Oh, I rolled bad. Robert, you believe that you have succeeded and that your rotation and speed are correct.
[00:16:51] Robert: Felix, I'm reasonably sure you're going to be safe. Go for it. It looks great, buddy.
[00:16:58] Thorne: All right, Robert. Haley, can you get down to the airlock with Felix and just monitor his line? If you need to pull him back, you're the one I'm going to count on.
[00:17:05] Haleyy: Yeah, I already have my suit on, ready to go.
[00:17:07] Felix: I give Haley the thumbs up and I cycle the airlock door.
[00:17:17] Star Master Jeff: The door opens completely silently and you look out into the crazy void of twirling stars in space. And it reminds you of the one other time you've done a spacewalk, which was on the data vault surface the last time you saw Petey. Keep it together, Felix. And then straight ahead of you is this very small space station rotating along with the scapegoat. If you were to jump towards it and lost your footing, it'd be very easy to miss it on the left and right side because it's about 10 yards away and it's very narrow. It's like a little drinking straw straight in front of you.
[00:17:59] Felix: Well, so first I'm going to examine what I'm moving towards. So is there like a doorway with handles? Is it like a fully smooth surface? Can I grab onto something when I get over there?
[00:18:10] Star Master Jeff: So it's a porthole, a large porthole door, like a hatch. And there are handholds in a few spots on the rim. There's also a lot of different recessed grooves and divots around it. And the entire door is also recessed. So there's a spot where if you were in gravity, you could stand. And you do see that next to the door, there is a control panel. A red light on it is blinking balefully at you.
[00:18:36] Felix: So I'm just going to push myself off like jump for lack of a better word.
[00:18:40] Star Master Jeff: Okay. So if you're going to push off, I want you to do a exert dexterity.
[00:18:45] Haleyy: Can I support on this though? Cause I'm there monitoring.
[00:18:48] Star Master Jeff: You're holding the rope behind him. So I think if he misses, your support is pulling him back and letting him try again.
[00:18:55] Felix: Yeah, basically.
[00:18:56] Star Master Jeff: Every time you fail, you are burning time. And I want you to know there is a authority clock. I am keeping track of time and rounds. And all of that ties into the notification that went out to security. I rolled a five. Are you sure you want to keep that five?
[00:19:11] Felix: I'm going to roll again as an expert.
[00:19:13] Star Master Jeff: That's an 11, motherfuckers. Nice roll. Nice second roll. Yeah, the first one didn't happen. You leap off from the scapegoat and slowly for 10 yards, you are completely between these two spaceships in the void of space in a way in which you've never been. You reach the other side and you're able to carefully grab one of the handholds and it looks like you were raised in no gravity. That's how perfect you did this. And Hayley, you actually feel a point of pride because you assumed Felix was going to fuck this up because he's not dexterous. He can hardly walk. But seeing him in anti-grab like this for the first time ever, you actually think this might be his true environment.
[00:19:57] Haleyy: Wow, Felix. Didn't know you had it in you.
[00:20:00] Felix: Wasn't sure I did either, Hayley. All right, I made it. Now let me get hooked in and access the system with a goal of either allowing the scapegoat to dock or just opening the hatch.
[00:20:15] Star Master Jeff: So go ahead and roll your program int. So you tap in, you start running your pre-situated programs and macros using your big clumsy back suit fingers, using voice commands where needed, wishing you could just relay these commands to Dr. Voss to kind of run them for you from the goat. It's a 14. Oh, man. Amazing. The docking clamps slowly open and the door goes from completely locked down with a red light on the compad to an accepting green light.
[00:20:46] Felix: Oh, yeah. We're in. Very nice, Felix. You're on a roll. I know. Haley, reel me in.
[00:20:53] Haleyy: I reel him in.
[00:20:55] Star Master Jeff: As you are preparing to leave, you notice that there are three indentations on this hatch. And you saw them before you jumped, and you couldn't really see them that well from 10 yards away. But now that you've hacked and you're calling out for Haley to reel you in, looking a bit more closely, you recognize them as turret ports. And you wonder exactly what may have happened if you had failed this hack. And then Haley is pulling you back through the void.
[00:21:20] Felix: My blood runs cold for a moment, and then I'm in the goat.
[00:21:26] Robert: I was totally convinced you were going to be fine. There was going to be no smooshing at all. I'm glad it worked out. Let me see if I can take her in now. You said you got her ready to be docked? Yeah, the clamps are open. Okay, I'm going to see if I can take her in.
[00:21:47] Star Master Jeff: This is a pretty easy procedure. And you ease the scapegoat into the docking port and the clamps snap down onto the insets on the scapegoat and you get a nice tight seal. Haley and Felix, still down in your vac suits, you see through the evac door is not an airlock, but a hallway leading down the length of the space station to another door at the far side.
[00:22:15] Robert: So, team, real fast, what are y'all's thoughts on me staying in the cockpit just to make sure we can get the hell out of here, or do we not want to split the party?
[00:22:27] Felix: I mean, Robert, your skills with the blaster are unmatched. We don't know what we could run into in there.
[00:22:33] Haleyy: Yeah, Robert, I think it might... We don't want to leave this ship unattended.
[00:22:37] Thorne: Yeah, Robert, we need you in there, so you better suit up too. I'm going to take a calm down to ISO so that we can at least have somebody on the ship in case we need to get in contact. And then I'll head down to where I assume the med bay where she's generally hanging out.
[00:22:50] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, she's still rebuilding the med bay when you go in. She's basically like a second fixer after Felix now, and she's like wiring things up and muttering as sparks fly out from medical equipment.
[00:23:00] Thorne: So I'm leaving this communicator with you. If we need you, we'll call, but hopefully he doesn't come to anything. Try to give Reggie his space, but if he gets crazy, feel free to let me know.
[00:23:10] Star Master Jeff: She waves dismissively without turning towards you and says, all right, Cappy Cap. And with that, I will start getting my suit on as well. You think that she muttered nerd under her breath? I expect that she did.
[00:23:22] Haleyy: As you were leaving? That's strong coming from ISO.
[00:23:25] Star Master Jeff: That's strong language. And so you suit up, you said, and Robert, I assume you're suiting up as well?
[00:23:31] Robert: Yeah, I'm going to get my suit up. By the way, we can all hear that. So you're on comms. And if you see Froggy touching my Loki pawn cards, could you chop his hands off for me? I'd appreciate it. Are those the little kid things with the pictures on them? They're shockingly valuable. The playing cards that are got to avoid them all. Yeah, they got to print it on the back. If you see him touching them, make him regret it.
[00:24:03] Thorne: Cut Reggie some slack, man. I know he can be a pain in the ass, but he better have all his digits when I get back on this ship. We are on a clock here, so I'm ready to go.
[00:24:12] Star Master Jeff: Okay, with Robert and Thorne suited up in their vac suits and Felix and Hayley already suited up, everyone meets in the airlock, cycles it, and finds themselves exposed to the vacuum of space. Just a walk across this one little hatch area and you are officially inside of Causeway 3.
[00:24:29] Thorne: Ah, the deafening silence of a spacewalk. Can't we pump some music into these suits or something? Too bad our resident DJ is a little bit out of commission. Hey, Iso, you got any music you could pump into our suits or something? Maybe some burning quasar or some infinite black or the long dark. Oh, I think chromium does just put something new out.
[00:24:56] Star Master Jeff: There's a long silence. And then music slowly begins to pipe into your suits. And you hear Iso say distractedly, There you go, Thorny Thorn Thorn. Enjoy my tunes. Inside of Causeway 3, you can see from here, there is a wall horizontally to you, right in front of you on the left side. And on the right side of that is a hallway moving forward. So it's almost like if you went in and took a left, there should be like a bathroom there, but there's nothing really there. It's just a little indent in the wall, maybe to hang up people's vac suits if they're maintenance workers. And down this hallway, You can see that the walls are just pitted with a ton of indents. And at the very end of the hallway is a hatch with a big red light on it. Felix, you notice this and think it's very weird. You're not seeing like a normal like interface panel. Even from this distance, you can clearly see that it's a comms panel and you can even see the speaker grating on it.
[00:25:53] Felix: Looks voice controlled. That might not be good for us, but let's go check it out.
[00:25:59] Star Master Jeff: I'm going to start making my way down. So you kick off and you find yourself in zero G once again and begin to float your way down the hallway. The indents in the wall suddenly all slide open at once and a number of small red lasers poke out and target all of you. And over each red laser, you can see there's an optical lens, not a gun, but it does give you quite the start. And they all follow you as you slowly float down the hallway.
[00:26:30] Robert: Not sure I love that. Yeah. Do y'all want me to start shooting?
[00:26:37] Thorne: I don't think so, Robert. Last thing we need is an alarm.
[00:26:42] Robert: On top of the alarm? Really, Thorne?
[00:26:45] Felix: Does this remind Felix or does Felix recognize any kind of a counter intrusion system or monitoring system that is similar to this?
[00:26:53] Star Master Jeff: I mean, the lasers probably it reminds you of nicks on the data vault and like cutting through the deadly lasers. But these aren't cutting through you. They're obviously targeting you for some reason, but it's just optical lenses, which they look like normal camera lenses. So you're not exactly sure what's going on here.
[00:27:12] Felix: Some kind of tracking system. For what, I don't know, but maybe we'll find out when we get down here.
[00:27:18] Robert: Yeah, Felix, can you try to disarm them one by one?
[00:27:21] Felix: I mean, there's no warts by them, Robert. I guess when we get down to this other end, I can maybe hook in and access the whole station systems.
[00:27:29] Robert: I mean, I can disarm them via fist. Let's not be hasty. Okay.
[00:27:35] Star Master Jeff: And with that, you float down the hallway the rest of the way and find yourself up against this closed door, a red light on the communications panel next to it. Felix, you quickly assess it and don't see any actual interface to open the door. Though the comms panel has a speaker on it, which you realize you won't be able to use with no atmosphere, but there is a spot to jack in your vac suit, like an aux port.
[00:28:02] Felix: I'm trying to think here. I look at Thorn. Thorn, this might be more of your alley if you've got to convince the system to let us in.
[00:28:10] Thorne: Yeah, I don't know who I need to pretend to be to get us past this door, but I'm willing to give it a shot. Let me take a look at that. Oh, hold on a second. I so kill the music. And then I'll move up to the door. And so I could theoretically plug my suit into this so that I could talk through it.
[00:28:26] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, it's basically just patching in your comms, which actually patches in everyone's comms that's on your communications group call. Okay. Then I will patch myself in and it's like a button, right? I'm just going to push it. Okay. You patch in and push the button and immediately a robotic voice says...
[00:28:42] Thorne: Identify your vessel. I kind of look nervously back at the group like I don't have a name in mind. Have I seen any like Virodyne ship names that I could use? I mean, I can think of one. I could think of the acceptable loss, but that feels dangerous to use. No, you know what? Screw it. I like this plan. I do my best Victor Strake impression since I'm really good at that. I don't think I am, but... The acceptable loss. State your authorization code. That's how he codes with these robots. It's one, two, three, four. Incorrect code. Present crew manifest. Oh, this is getting out of hand, Felix.
[00:29:26] Felix: Isn't there something you can do? There's no... Hold on. Give me a second, give me a second. I can try... Oh, man.
[00:29:32] Star Master Jeff: Hey, hey, Iso? Come on, what do y'all want? You just left the ship like five seconds ago. Yeah, can you... Are you in the... Are you on the bridge? Hell no, I'm not on the bridge in that stanky-ass place. I'm down in the medbay trying to make this worth living in.
[00:29:47] Felix: Okay, so you see on the wall the comms panel?
[00:29:52] Star Master Jeff: Yes, I see the comms panel.
[00:29:54] Felix: I'm going to need you to hook the communicator into that, and then in the panel, go to the menu item and activate Buddy. Felix, what the hell are you cooking up? Listen, he is a voice-controlled AI. I think he might be able to help us get through this system. You're the expert.
[00:30:15] Robert: Yeah, I mean, I respect it, but are we talking about, hi, buddy, or are we talking about, hi, buddy?
[00:30:20] Felix: Well, he's a little bit of both, but mostly the former.
[00:30:23] Robert: Yeah, what state you leaving him in, Felix?
[00:30:26] Felix: I can't really mess with him too much. He's kind of part of the scapegoat now, in a weird way. Mm-hmm.
[00:30:31] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, but is he like, hey, buddy, what can I do for you? Oh, Felix, you're kind of like my daddy at this point. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Hey, buddy, buddy. Thanks so much for turning me back on. Oh, what are y'all doing down there? Oh, Felix, so good to see you. I kind of miss Scrapjacks, I'm not going to lie. Yeah, I listen. Oh, hey, Thorn. I recognize those bio signatures anywhere. Hey, buddy.
[00:30:52] Thorne: Your heart's beating a mile a minute. Yeah, it's kind of stressful down here, buddy.
[00:30:56] Felix: You must be real excited to talk to me, buddy. Buddy, listen, we really need your help. We really need your help, buddy. We've got, well, we're trying to get through this door. And, you know, there's a voice-controlled system that we just can't get through, and I thought you— Present crew manifest. See? She wants the crew manifest. But we are not supposed to be here, but we're trying to save Dr. Voss, who you love.
[00:31:19] Star Master Jeff: Okay, buddy. Crew manifest. Thorndraxxus. Felix Champlin.
[00:31:24] Thorne: No, no, no. Buddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You remember when we talked about lying? Yeah, maybe a fake crew manifest. How's that sound?
[00:31:32] Robert: I'm sorry, y'all are teaching the computers how to lie?
[00:31:35] Felix: Yeah, buddy, I want you to trick this computer that we're supposed to be here and get us in. Oh, this is gonna be real fucked up.
[00:31:43] Thorne: Thorn, push the button, Thorn. I pushed the button. Come on, buddy, don't let me down. Present crew manifest.
[00:31:52] Star Master Jeff: Okay, buddy, I'm gonna give you a fake crew manifest. No, buddy. Are you ready, buddy?
[00:32:01] Thorne: We're ready, buddy. Please just do it. Present crew manifest. Captain Torn Haxis. Why did I know this is what was going to happen?
[00:32:12] Star Master Jeff: Beelix Bamplin. Let go of the butt, Thorn. Bobbert the Clone. All right, buddy. Bailey with two Bs. What?
[00:32:23] Felix: Buddy, I'm not angry, but I am disappointed. I don't know. I'm kind of angry.
[00:32:27] Star Master Jeff: I hope that was helpful, buddy. I'm cooking dinner for us now. I've keyed myself into that nice electric stove. It decidedly was not. Okay, buddy.
[00:32:38] Felix: Iso, unplug. I'm sorry. That was a waste of time.
[00:32:41] Star Master Jeff: Will you turn him off, Iso? Can I get back to just fixing up the medbay so when you come back with a bunch of holes in you, I can patch them up? Be great. Listen, I'm sorry, crew. Okay, fuck off. And she turns it off.
[00:32:54] Haleyy: Bye, ISO.
[00:32:55] Star Master Jeff: Present crew manifest.
[00:32:58] Haleyy: Guys, guys, guys, what if we say, like, Victor Strake and unknown prisoners?
[00:33:05] UNKNOWN: Present crew.
[00:33:06] Star Master Jeff: Suddenly, the terminal cuts.
[00:33:08] Haleyy: Oh, shit.
[00:33:09] Star Master Jeff: And a human voice comes through. This terminal is monitored. Identify your vessel immediately and your authority to be aboard Causeway 3.
[00:33:19] Thorne: Well, this is Victor Strake of the acceptable loss, a very important person here, and I am authorized to be here, but the reason is classified, and I don't think I should tell you. Roll talk. Gladly. I got a five, which feels impossible. So I'm going to go ahead and try to roll that again. Okay, expert re-roll. Bit more expertly. Yeah, let's try that more expertly. I got a 10, which feels more reasonable.
[00:33:52] Star Master Jeff: Okay, yeah, a 10 is much better. So you feel like you're successfully selling the cover. And the very human voice on the other side says... Victor Strake. Okay.
[00:34:02] Thorne: What vessel do you represent? Who do you work for? I'm with Virodyne Loss Prevention. Vessel is the acceptable loss. You should know this. Okay.
[00:34:12] Star Master Jeff: The AI flagged you because you were acting very suspiciously. And also, your ship seems to not be identifying correctly, so I do have some questions I need to ask. What is your purpose aboard this station? Classified. Okay. Well, who authorized your access? I did. Okay. Where are you coming from? Sibylline. I can tell you that much, at least. So you're on the station, and it's classified while you're here. Why is there no work order?
[00:34:43] Thorne: Well, that should be obvious, shouldn't it?
[00:34:47] Star Master Jeff: I suppose I know. Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:34:51] Thorne: But what work are you here to perform? I have to know that at least. It's a routine investigation. Extremely important that this specific station be investigated for a potential security hole.
[00:35:05] Star Master Jeff: Why is your ownership module flagged as non-viridine, one scapegoat LLC?
[00:35:11] Thorne: Well, I ran into some old acquaintances recently and I had to borrow their vessel. And because of that, there was a mix-up with the ownership modules. It's really important that we get inside the station and we do the investigation that needs to get done before it's too late.
[00:35:25] Star Master Jeff: OK, I think this has gone a little too far beyond a simple talk role. So I'm going to need you to roll a lead charisma as well, because you're trying to project rank. Oh, sure. And you're trying to yeah, you're trying to say this is classified and you should already know this. And isn't it obvious? And in some ways you're trying to like have that authoritative approach.
[00:35:44] Thorne: That's fine. I got some points in that as well. And I got an eight. Of course you do. Yeah.
[00:35:49] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, I do. Okay. Okay. Well, so you've kind of challenged this officer's right to even question you with some of your answers and made him feel like an absolute tool. Good, good. Which he is. Which he is. So the officer says... Well, all right, Mr. Victor Strake. I'm unlocking the door now. Perform your work. May I ask how long you will be on board for my notes? We will be in and out as quickly as possible. There's a long pause as you hear him mentally process that you once again did not answer his question. And then the door switches from red to green and opens. And he says... Okay, Victor Strake and crew, please perform your maintenance or whatever it is you are here to do and contact me if you need anything. You've been a big help.
[00:36:45] Thorne: I'm going to unplug the thing from the comm.
[00:36:47] Haleyy: Oh, you did great.
[00:36:48] Thorne: Good job, boss. Better than my idea, geez. All right, let's get that music going again, huh? Where are the tunes?
[00:36:57] Star Master Jeff: The tunes resume. The door opens to the server room, which is a tight hexagonal space. Terminals ring every wall. Indicator lights blink steadily. There are small slots all along the floor and ceiling. Like if you wanted to build a Swiffer around these terminals, you'd be able to like stick the Swiffer in these slots and get to the tops and bottoms of these server racks. There is one spot to kind of, like, jack in and do work with an actual screen on the terminal, and it's dead center in the wall on the right side. That's for me.
[00:37:33] Thorne: Well, the odds that Voss are here are quickly approaching zero, but if we're going to find coordinates, a terminal like that seems like the place to start, right, Felix? Yep.
[00:37:42] Felix: Let me plug in the rest of you, see if there's anything else around here, or, like, get away the land. All right, team, let's rummage.
[00:37:51] Star Master Jeff: Felix, you go and you jack into this terminal in the middle of the wall as everyone else goes and pokes around. Very quickly, you guys all realize there's not really a lot around here unless you're interested in technology. Oh yeah, baby. Oh yeah. And Felix, when you jack into it, I need you to roll a program intelligence.
[00:38:12] Haleyy: Haley's just going to stand by the door and be alert.
[00:38:16] Felix: I'm going to roll that again. I don't love a seven. There. Okay, 10.
[00:38:20] Star Master Jeff: Okay. You connect to the terminal and you hack past the outer security. It gives you direct access to the array of ship's logs that have been coming through here recently. The Acceptable Loss transited here not too long ago, heading to Prometheon Station. So it's obvious to you that Vos is with him still and was obviously not left behind here. Breaking through this first layer of security also opens the full station readout for Causeway 3. You can see everything, including outpost ship contact. And when you look at that, you're very startled to see that the Scapegoat was not the last ship to make contact with Causeway 3. There is another ship already inbound, identified as Patrol 6.
[00:39:10] Felix: I wonder what that could be. Can I get the coordinates for Promethean Station? That's like my main goal now.
[00:39:18] Star Master Jeff: You realize that that is through additional layers of security. You're not sure how deep you're going to have to go, but this ship is only about 120 seconds out and upon realizing that an alert flashes across your screen and an aux port that's next to the screen starts flashing ominously with a red light an incoming message Uh, Thorne, we got inbound, 120 seconds out, and looks like there's a call for you. Can you take this while I keep working? Oh, great.
[00:39:50] Thorne: I head over to where it's lighting up, and I guess I accept the call, if that means plugging my suit into it.
[00:39:58] Star Master Jeff: Victor Strake of the Acceptable Lost, or should I say the Scapegoat LLC, we have detected your hack attempt. Anyone with a true admin key would not need to hack. We are inbound, and we will destroy your vessel. Stand down, or we will destroy all of you as well. Felix, you see that they are coming in and they will be in position in 120 seconds to be able to fire upon the scapegoat. You also realize that security on the terminal is tightening very quickly and you cannot disconnect from this terminal and expect to come back to it at a later date. At that moment, all of the slots all around the server room immediately erupts with dozens of tiny little drones with electroshock pincers crawling out along the walls, floor, and ceiling and rushing towards Felix.
[00:40:50] Haleyy: What?
[00:40:52] Star Master Jeff [?]: You realize that the swarm is rushing in from three sides. Felix has three flanks, and there's three of you. The swarm rushes in.
[00:41:08] Star Master Jeff: But we're going to have to deal with that another time. Oh no. Because that's all the time we have for tonight. And that's the end of our episode.
[00:41:15] Haleyy: Wait, how big are the little pincers? Are they like tiny? Are they like praying mantis size? The little robots that have popped out? Like little crabs?
[00:41:23] Star Master Jeff: We'll have to find out another time. Well, that's it for this week. Thanks for listening to the Dark Star Adventure Cast. Big thanks to our cast, Brian as Thorn, Scott as Felix, Doja as Robert, and Steph as Hayley. And as always, I'm your Star Master, Jeff, playing everyone and everything else. If you want to hear every episode two weeks early, head on over to patreon.com slash darkstaradventurecast. And a huge thanks to Brad and Holly, our Scapegoat Syndicate supporters. We love you both. If you're enjoying the show, please take a moment to leave us a rating and a review wherever you listen. It really helps new people find the show. Next time on the Dark Star Adventurecast, Felix is still jacked into the terminal and the server room is already in chaos. Three swarms of... Tiny little electro-bots are pressing in from all three walls, and a patrol ship is just 120 seconds out looking to destroy the scapegoat. With multiple hackings left, the crew is stuck in place defending Felix, hoping to make it back to the ship before the patrol ship arrives. If they survive, they'll find out where Dr. Voss is, the coordinates to Prometheon Station, and if they survive long enough, may just be able to reach there in time. Tune in next time to find out, and until then, keep following that signal.