I'm Not Angry, I'm Disappointed - Star Master Log: Chasing His Brother's Ghost (w/ Scott)

Star Master Log

Aug 11

START HERE·EPISODE·SWN RULES EXPLAINED

Star Master Jeff sits down with Scott, who plays Felix, for episode 28, "I'm Not Angry, I'm Disappointed." They talk through Felix's idolization of Dr. Voss and what it would actually take for him to give up on Petey. Scott walks through how he built Felix's cantankerous streak on purpose, then closes out with a rapid fire round: one-word takes on the rest of the crew and whether Buddy will ever earn a real place on the ship.

[00:00:03] Scott: Access approved.
[00:00:05] Star Master Jeff: Hey, everyone. Star Master Jeff here, and welcome back to the Star Master Log. Today, I'm joined by Scott, who plays Felix. We're talking episode 28, I'm Not Angry, I'm Disappointed. If you haven't listened yet, go do that first, because what follows is a spoiler conversation. Scott, welcome to the Star Master Log. Hey, Jeff. Good to be here. My first time. Yeah, the first time is always the best because I've only done this once with everyone so far. You're the last one out of the four.
[00:00:37] Scott: Best for last. I understand.
[00:00:39] Star Master Jeff: That's a saying. So I have some questions for you. Some of them are about episode 28. I'm not angry. I'm disappointed, which is a line that Felix says. So this is sort of a flagship episode for you. But first, before we really dive into the episode topics, I'd first like to know... You know, I've always been interested in...
[00:00:56] Scott: and how did you get role-playing games but i didn't really play them growing up um not the tabletop kind anyway it wasn't probably until i was like 17 18 and my entry into the genre was the the old uh star wars role-playing game i think it was the wizards star wars role-playing game But I never you know, and I enjoyed that. But I never really had a campaign I got into or a long running thing I got into until your groups campaign that I played in for many years ascension ascension. Yep. And so that was, I think, really my first foray into like long, you know, a long running campaign where I really got to be into a character and kind of figure out the motivations and how to play the character and When it comes to role-playing games, I always like to play a character, and that gave me a really good opportunity to do that in Ascension.
[00:01:56] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, and you're actually a really interesting case for a player because you're super into like rules and frameworks and how the game actually works. And you want to make sure you're always being as accurate as possible when you're playing. And usually that's something that the GM has to push. But you're always there reminding us of the rules, just like Brian is. But the two of you are very much interested in that. But you're also super into role playing. And sometimes I can hear that struggle there where it's like, a rule might not work a certain way or felix needs to act a certain way and trying to figure out how the rules work for that so how do you sort of take that project management mentality of rules and frameworks and also your need to role play as accurately as possible and mesh those two things together to create your own specific type of role playing
[00:02:45] Scott: Well, I think the first thing I always try to think of is that Felix doesn't know he's playing a game, right? So making choices that are optimal in the framework of the game is not something that I find to be fun to do. If I want to do that, I'm going to play a video game, right? So what I try to bring to it is this idea of the rules of the game are like the boundaries within which I can make choices, right? it's basically like a mental framework that I apply on to Felix or anybody that I'm playing, right? Like these are the boundaries within which I can make these choices, but then I can like do whatever I want with them, right? So I can, maybe there, it would be optimal for me to do something technological, right? As Felix, maybe it's hacking something, But in the moment, I can tell that Felix is maybe exasperated with something or feeling helpless. And so I lash out physically, right, which is not optimal, but it makes sense. And then I can fit into the rules by, you know, looking at which skills I can use and what would make sense given my background.
[00:03:47] Star Master Jeff: Right. And Felix is kind of a hothead, like considering that he wants to escape his mortal body and become either like a cyborg or completely computerized or digital. He is pretty much just run by emotions. And he's very cranky. And you play him as oftentimes introducing a lot of conflict and strife within the the the party where most parties kind of just run like clockwork and there isn't a lot of internal strife but it always feels like you're looking for an opening to cause problems is that an accurate read
[00:04:23] Scott: I think so. You know, I like to, you know, the way I'm playing Felix is that kind of cantankerous character, right? And maybe not even with a heart of gold, you know, maybe just kind of an a-hole. And I think it is outside of who I am personally. So it's fun to play from that perspective. Yeah, I think it always brings an extra dimension of like trying to bring something else out of somebody else. Right. Being confrontational or starting a conflict is a good way to get other players involved in something because it's forcing them to be engaged and not just passive and taking whatever bullshit I'm throwing at them.
[00:05:03] Star Master Jeff: Hmm. There is one notable member of the crew that you've never really started shit with. And I was hoping you could just take a moment and kind of explain from your perspective, Felix and [[Dr. Elara Voss|Voss]]'s relationship.
[00:05:16] Scott: Well, I mean, the way I see Felix and Voss is, you know, he sees her as kind of an idealized state. I think he's idolizing her a lot and maybe making her out to be more perfect than she is as this kind of computerized consciousness, which is what Felix strives for, as you said, right? Kind of ascending his foibles, right? The things that he doesn't like about himself, those emotional aspects, right? are not something felix likes about himself right those are the things he's trying to escape and so with dr voss he sees an opportunity to you know to use this alien technology to take a step in that direction and that was his initial read on her but over time she's become someone that he can speak to about the topics that nobody else is interested in right cybernetics
[00:06:07] Star Master Jeff: computer systems and she has a much deeper knowledge of it in some ways than felix because of her access to the different systems and so i think you know he sees her as a kindred spirit in a lot of ways what's sort of interesting there is felix is trying desperately to get to where she is right now and if she had her way she would not be stuck in that metal orb she would not be like a digital consciousness like she would not have chosen to give up give up her humanity yeah no definitely i mean i think it's
[00:06:36] Scott: I can see conflict coming there, right? And kind of this push-pull, and it hasn't really come up, except for maybe in the "digital ocean," where we were both in that space. And I think that was the first time Felix sensed how much greater she was than him and maybe became a bit intimidated by that. And yeah, I could definitely see, you know, her wanting to get out and Felix wanting to get in might cause some problems later.
[00:07:02] Star Master Jeff: So speaking of digital consciousness, we have a VI, which is Voss, and we have an AI, which is [[Buddy AI|Buddy]]. And Buddy makes a long awaited reappearance after the Scrapjack saga. This is many episodes later. And it's been revealed that Felix has Buddy on the [[The Scapegoat|Scapegoat]]. He's been tinkering with him and building him into the space where Voss used to fill on the Scapegoat. And this is really the first time that Felix is trying to use Buddy in a useful way. Well, why don't you tell us, do you think that that was successful? Or where do you think you should go from here?
[00:07:36] Scott: Definitely unsuccessful. And I think know i think one of the things felix struggles with is when it comes to like an advanced ai programming that's so based in emotion felix is not very adept at reading and interpreting emotion and so trying to like that part is so core to what buddy is that trying to take that out and replace it with logic has not been working as we saw you know in in the episode um And so, you know, I think he's going to keep trying. He's going to try to crack that nut. But it's an interesting problem. And, you know, I hope to be able to replace him with Voss again soon. But we really need that kind of extra consciousness in the ship's systems to help us through.
[00:08:22] Star Master Jeff: Hmm. So I know it's not from this episode, but I can't help but ask since this is the first time that we've really talked in a Star Master log. But think way back to your focus episode, [[Episode 9 - Brother's Keeper - Felix's Story|The Data Vault]] with [[Petey Champlin|Petey]]. I sort of just want to get your impressions of that episode of Felix's flashback and how the search for Petey and Felix's like evolution in this season has been since that moment.
[00:08:51] Scott: Yeah, I mean, it was it was a hard hitting episode, right? I mean, that was the first focus. It was the first time we'd kind of done something like that kind of, you know, on a serious note, I liked the flashback. aspect of it. I think that was a really interesting way to allow us to build out our characters without just reading backstory. But I also think it's really what drives Felix, right? I mean, before that point, he was much more interested in accessing machines, building machines, building systems, maybe cybernetic augmentation. But when Petey became a digital consciousness himself, Felix didn't see a way to get that out and put it back into a body. And so now he became focused on how do I become that so I could be with my brother again, right? He's the only person he had left at that point. But now there's this additional wrinkle with what Felix has spent the majority of his adult life trying to do in Dr. Voss. Because if Dr. Voss can take her digital consciousness and become corporeal again. Well, maybe that's another option for Petey. But what does that mean for what Felix has been trying to do? And so I think that's a really interesting tension. And maybe explain some of Felix's cantankerousness lately, as he's battling through those, you know, what do I do now? And, you know, we're getting close to where I'm thinking Petey and Dr. Voss are, and there could be a crossroads here for Felix.
[00:10:20] Star Master Jeff: Hmm, that's actually an interesting thing. Just you're thinking there may be a way for Voss to maybe become corporeal again. But she's a virtual intelligence. Petey, by all intents and purposes, Petey is dead. And a copy of his mind is artificial intelligence. Does Felix have any sort of complicated emotions around that? He hasn't really let himself think about that.
[00:10:42] Scott: In his mind, it's still his brother. The last he saw of him, it still felt like watching his brother. And so I don't really think he's let himself grieve for the loss of his brother. And I also don't think he's let himself face the reality of what it means for what's happened to him. He's still holding out hope against all hope.
[00:11:04] Star Master Jeff: So if Felix had the chance, he would obviously become a virtual intelligence because it's a pure consciousness transfer. He doesn't technically die. But if given the chance, if it was the only option, would he die to become an AI and join Petey?
[00:11:19] Scott: It's a good question. You know, I don't think he would. But you never know until you're in that situation, right? Like if we're in those moments and... Felix is able to join with his brother again in what feels like a meaningful way, then he could very well make that emotional decision. He values his mind.
[00:11:37] Star Master Jeff: I kind of thought you'd be like, yes. He'd rather just copy his consciousness and just be done with it.
[00:11:44] Scott: I think it's tricky because he has found people. Oh. It's something he hasn't had really since Petey.
[00:11:53] Star Master Jeff: Wait, so is there a softness here with Felix that hasn't quite come through yet? He has his found family and maybe he's starting to treasure being in a human body?
[00:12:03] Scott: I just don't think he can express it very well. And I don't know if treasuring being in a human body so much as not willing to give up everything yet, but also it's so outside of the realm of what he thinks is possible to make that transcendent journey, that he is focused still on how do I make myself the best I can be so I can push the boundaries of what's possible for humanity. And if the end result of that is transcendence into digital consciousness, then that's what he's going to do. But I think he still sees it as being like an evolution of humanity, whereas an AI would almost be a reduction of that. Right. Which is why he has a hard time, I think, facing that fact about Petey and really hasn't dealt with that yet.
[00:12:51] Star Master Jeff: Interesting. Okay, well, let's move on to some rapid fire questions. This is a speed round. So I'm going to ask you a bunch of crap really quick. You have to answer it very quickly, even though some people before you took their goddamn time. And everything you say as an answer is going to become instantly canon. So don't be careful, but be careful because whatever you say is the truth.
[00:13:16] Scott: Hold on, let me get into Felix for a minute. Let me just get his mindset to answer these questions correctly. OK, what's his mindset look like? That's the first question. I kind of hunch. Well, it's physical, right? I kind of hunch my shoulders. I get down low and I kind of put my head down. Do you play the whole game that way? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:13:33] Star Master Jeff: Oh, my God.
[00:13:34] Scott: When we're in conversation, when I'm in conversation and I'm kind of in Felix, I very much kind of emote physically to kind of get into a different headspace.
[00:13:43] Star Master Jeff: Well, it's kind of like when I'm playing Iso, I keep hitting my mic because I'm throwing my arms around. Yeah, I do that a lot.
[00:13:49] Scott: I talk with my hands a lot, which is funny because we don't even we're not even on video with each other.
[00:13:53] Star Master Jeff: No. Okay, here we go. Give me one word for each crewmate. I'll name them you to say one word and Thorne. Loyal. Robert. Hair. Hair. Haleyy. Rock. Ooh. Iso. Annoying. Oh, my God. Froggy. You can't say annoying again. You already used that one. Slimy. Slimy? You know, Brian said wet.
[00:14:21] Scott: Yeah, I believe that. I imagine all of us said a word of a similar...
[00:14:26] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, I think Stephanie was struggling to think of the word moist or something. Voss. Friend. Hmm. And because it's you, let's ask about Scapegoat.
[00:14:38] Scott: I wasn't prepared to answer about the goat.
[00:14:42] Star Master Jeff: Confidant. Oh. Is Buddy a trustworthy member of the crew yet, or is he mostly just a liability that you haven't figured out how to use? Definitely a liability. Yeah. Will he ever be a trustworthy member of the crew as an AI? Probably not. Is it because his buddy or because he's an AI?
[00:15:00] Scott: I think it's a mix. AI are purpose-built for one thing, and I'm trying to do something different with him.
[00:15:06] Star Master Jeff: Okay, buddy. Does Felix actually like Robert or is he just tolerating him? It's still pretty much just tolerating at this point. Does Felix trust Thorne's instincts or does he just go along with them because he doesn't have a better idea? I trust his instincts. But if Felix had a better idea, would he still go along with Thorne?
[00:15:27] Scott: No, I've done that before too. I've gone, yeah, definitely not. I trust Thorne, especially in matters of like interpersonal relationships where Felix feels confused.
[00:15:36] Star Master Jeff: If you're out of your wheelhouse, you kind of just trust them. Yep. What's Felix's relationship with fear? Does he ever really feel fear or did he just not show it?
[00:15:46] Scott: He definitely feels it. I mean, we saw that in the focus episode with Petey. And I think he's learned to kind of push all that down and just fight through it. And it comes out in anger and frustration.
[00:15:59] Star Master Jeff: Is there a version of Felix that would ever give up on Petey? Not by choice. So what would it take? Asking as a GM.
[00:16:10] Scott: It would have to basically be forced away from me. The wool would have to be pulled from my eyes. because i you know the player scott knows that you know petey is an ai he's not you know it's almost like a black mirror episode right where it's it's like you know you can make a phone call to an ai and it sounds like you're you're you know former partner it sounds like your child but it's not really them it's just a copy of them um so i know it's not real but felix has not yet been able to like look at that fact And I think it's going to take Dr. Voss maybe to help him get over that.
[00:16:50] Star Master Jeff: So at the end of this session, Felix is frantically trying to hack into [[Causeway 3]] while a bunch of electro beetles are converging on him from all sides. And a patrol ship is coming in from the inner system to probably shoot upon the Scapegoat. So moving into the next session, what is Felix most afraid of?
[00:17:12] Scott: Losing the lead, right? Like this is the one chance they have to get a bead on where Dr. Voss and potentially Petey are.
[00:17:21] Star Master Jeff: And so he just does not want to lose that chance. Yeah, you can't just disconnect and run. This is the only place to get this information. Well, thanks for your time. But that's all the time we have for today. So thanks so much for joining us. Absolutely. Great to be here. Scapegoats forever. Goats for life. Next time on the Dark Star Adventurecast, the swarm is already loose. Patrol 6 is closing in and Felix is still jacked into that terminal with nowhere to go. Whatever the rest of that hack costs, the crew is about to pay for it in real time. If you want to get these episodes two weeks before they drop publicly, the Dark Star Adventurecast Patreon is the place to be. You can find it at patreon.com slash darkstaradventurecast. We really appreciate each and every one of our patrons and we hope to see you there. Don't forget to leave a review. That's how your listeners find us best. Thanks so much for listening. And from Scott and I, keep following that signal.
[00:18:19] Scott: Bye all. Bye.