Rock Tumor

Jun 23

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The crew is nursing Haleyy's mystery condition and racing a ticking clock: they need a black market ship module or they're grounded forever. A visit to an old military contact brings medical answers no one wanted and an enemy neither of them saw coming.

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Meet the Crew:

Jeff as Star Master
Brian as Captain Thorne
Stephanie as the warrior Haleyy
Doja as the wildcard pilot Robert
Scott as the transhuman hacker Felix

Special thanks to Brad and Holly, our Scapegoat Syndicate members!

They're keeping the lights on, and the airlocks sealed.

[00:00:01] Star Master Jeff: Welcome to the Dark Star Adventurecast, where the only thing standing between you and the Black is your ship and the strength of your crew. Void help us all.
[00:00:11] Thorne: I have the proof right here. And Thorne lifts up his shirt.
[00:00:14] Robert: Now, just real curious, has anyone gone blind drinking it?
[00:00:19] Haleyy: Yes, this is what friendship looks like.
[00:00:21] Felix: You got a rock tumor, Haleyy. You got a rock tumor.
[00:00:28] Star Master Jeff: The mission at Sibylen ended with everything on the line. Rynn Kade, a Nexus Trading operative, shot Thorne to zero hit points from the shadows after the fight was already supposed to be done. There was no medkit, no healing, no option left on the table as he slowly spiraled into death. But then Haleyy's hands lit up. Nobody knows what happened or why, but when the light faded, Thorne's wound was closed and Haleyy had collapsed. The crew is heading for Spigot now, the port city on the other side of Sibylen, to try to find answers about Haleyy's condition and also procure a black market ownership module before Viktor Strake's next move catches up with them.
[00:01:16] Thorne: Yeah, it's a bit hazy, to be honest. First, I have all these memories that aren't mine, and now this thing that happened.
[00:01:24] Haleyy: Healing you, Thorne, and this energy that's been building in me, it's... All very strange.
[00:01:41] Felix: Haleyy, I think strange is an understatement. Listen, I've been thinking about this, and it must have had something to do with that alien fork. Vera, Prust, that other one, they were all hooked up to it. Those cultists were in there trying to make a new VI or something, but it must have overloaded Thorne and saved you somehow. Which, by the way, just so everybody knows, that new orb has been completely inert, but I did lock it up just in case.
[00:02:09] Haleyy: Yeah and Froggy's been hiding in his room ever since along with all that. I think he's afraid to come out.
[00:02:18] Thorne: Hang on a second, the alien fork overloading is what saved me, Felix, really? How would that explain any of this? I felt the warmth coming from her palms. I felt my wound stitching itself back together. I can't explain it, but somehow, I know Haleyy healed me.
[00:02:35] Felix: Thorne, do you hear yourself? Because if that's the case, we're in an even worse spot than I thought. I mean, we're off the edge of the blasted star charts. Because... Like, if she has that kind of energy inside of her, she could be a ticking time bomb. Who knows what could happen? Like, what if she just blows a hole in the ship? Another one. Or nukes a city.
[00:02:59] Robert: Now who's being ridiculous, Felix? I told y'all, this happened before. Just after Ventos, when I visited Haleyy in that weird-ass military lockup, she was healed with the same damn energy.
[00:03:11] Felix: Wait, wait, wait. Robert, are you saying that story that you told us was all real? Yeah, what? You're... You're actually a clone? And Haleyy here with two Y's is really Haley with one Y and she has no big sister? She healed herself from death. What a load of mystic bullshit. I don't believe any of this stuff for one second.
[00:03:36] Robert: Felix, you don't have to. But I'm telling you, every damn word I've told you is the truth. Now's not the time. She hardly even remembers herself.
[00:03:46] Haleyy: No, Robert, it's... it's okay. I... I do remember, but it's hard. It's... I don't necessarily like what I'm remembering. You know, I had the strangest dreams back when I was unconscious, back at the exosite, and taking some time, but...
[00:04:04] Thorne: Let's just assume, Felix, that she did actually heal me. Okay. Is there some sort of tech that we can use to see what's going on with her? Like, if it's related to the Fork somehow, but it's something to do with her, and I've never heard of anything like this.
[00:04:18] Felix: I mean, you want me to know if there's some tech that can analyze this totally unknown phenomena... Don't worry, you're ridiculous. But, you know, if she was a machine, I guess we could just open her up and see what's wrong. I mean, no offense. No offense, Haleyy.
[00:04:32] Haleyy: Offense taken.
[00:04:33] Felix: But as it is, you all know, you all know we don't even have barely a medbay on the ship. We have a box over the fridge. I mean, let alone having the scanners we need to debug this problem. We want to get to the bottom of this. We need serious medical facilities of some sort, any sort. But most importantly, we need the privacy to use them without being watched.
[00:04:56] Haleyy: Machine talk off to the side. You're right, Felix. And we're going to Spigot already, right? So I think I know someone, a doctor that we could go see.
[00:05:08] Robert: But but Haleyy, anybody but him. Not him. Not him, please.
[00:05:15] Haleyy: Well honestly I don't think we have a choice and I do need some sort of advanced MET scanning. Also the ship needs a new ownership module and there's gonna be a black market on Spigot where we could find one right, Captain?
[00:05:35] Thorne: Yeah, I mean, I don't think we could fabricate our own ownership module even if we wanted to.
[00:05:39] Robert: He's just such a dipshit. I hate him so much. Will somebody please fill the rest of us in? Hate who? Mr. Oh, excuse me, Dr. Vanderwall. Iso for short.
[00:05:59] Felix: Iso for short? For Vanderwall? How'd you get that from? How do you get that from that?
[00:06:04] Haleyy: Well, it's short for isotope because, you know, touch him the wrong way and he might explode. He's kind of just a runt wired to detonate. He was useful the last time I was stationed here on Spigot, though. But he is dangerous and a pain in the ass. He made a name for himself on Spigot as a doctor but he's also a black market dealer, helium runner, cyberware junkhead. You name it, he's probably gonna be our guy.
[00:06:48] Star Master Jeff: And with that, Robert pilots the Scapegoat to Delta-7, affectionately known as the Spigot to the long-haul truckers who stop there. You fly over the vast Helium-3 fields, conveyor belts diligently mining the precious gas from the sand as workers in silver suits tap on digital pads nearby. Delta 7 is a sprawling town that grew organically as its reputation for insatiable blue-collar labor spread, forming a twisting maze of sun-baked streets and concrete modular apartments. The centerpiece of the town is the refueling tower, a large structure reaching from the surface all the way to low orbit, where passing craft can fuel up before continuing on their journey. The poet Cassius once remarked that the Spigot is the rusty throat of the inner belt, ever swallowing the dreams of silver men. Landing at the spaceport, you sign up for maintenance and you put your credit on file. The hull will be repaired in less than a day. The ownership module? Now that's something you're gonna have to sort out with Iso. Following Haleyy, you make your way through the streets of Spigot, a bustling town full of drifters, helium divers, and truckers. She leads you to a single-story concrete building. A leaky air unit protrudes from the wall, staining the ground with rust.
[00:08:07] Haleyy: Okay, just remember that this guy has a short fuse. Nice enough in general, but don't rub him the wrong way. Yeah, yeah, we got it.
[00:08:18] Robert: Genuinely sucks. Let's get this over with.
[00:08:23] Haleyy: You know, that's what I said, so, um, but, yeah. Alright, so, uh, let's go in, and I'll take the lead, uh, you know, just in case. I do seem to remember him liking me.
[00:08:37] Star Master Jeff: You push open the door and enter. The inside of the shop is narrow but long, and cluttered from floor to ceiling with medical equipment, vials, potions, and disconnected electronics.
[00:09:16] Haleyy: Hello, we're looking for Iso, if you're still around?
[00:09:20] Star Master Jeff: Well, shit, Haleyy, it's nice to see you. It's been a minute.
[00:09:24] Haleyy: Iso?
[00:09:25] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, it's me. Took you a second to recognize me, huh? I know, last time I saw you, things looked a little bit different, but hey, I finally got around to making the outside match the inside.
[00:09:36] Haleyy: Glad to see it. You look like you're doing well. Uh, yeah, better than ever. Quickly she turns around, grabs a shotgun, and points it at you, and says, now who the fuck sent you?
[00:09:56] Star Master Jeff: Oh, Haleyy, you needing help and coming to me for help? It's bad. You've got to know I'm not that much of a simpleton. And she cocks the shotgun and takes a step back to make sure she's fully out of range of your long monkey-like limbs.
[00:10:11] Thorne: Haleyy, I thought you said this person was like your friend or something.
[00:10:14] Haleyy: Yes, this is what friendship looks like.
[00:10:18] Thorne: Great. You'll have to teach me about it sometime. And I kind of put my hands up. Hey, listen, Dr. Iso, right? It's Thorndraxxus. Nice to meet you. Yeah, Haleyy told us you could help us out with a really unique problem we're having. So why don't you just go ahead and put that down and we can have a nice little conversation about it.
[00:10:37] Star Master Jeff: I think I'll be hanging on to my shotgun. But you go ahead and tell me exactly what you need. Come on, Iso.
[00:10:43] Star Master Jeff: Hey, Robert, don't you start talking to me that way. I'm just telling you, don't. I'm, guns down right now. Let's keep this civil.
[00:10:51] Star Master Jeff: Okay, Rob, would you fall for that?
[00:10:53] Thorne: You know I ain't gonna fall for anything that you'd fall for. No one's falling for anything. Listen, and I take one step clearly right behind Haleyy. Haleyy's in some trouble, and we just need to know if she's going to be okay. She said that we could talk to you about it. Nobody needs to get any more bullet holes in them. We've had plenty of those over the past few days. At least I know I have. Felix, did you want a bullet hole? Robert, are you guys? No, I think it looks like everybody's good. So let's just calm down. We also need the ownership module, Thorne. Yeah, well, we need a lot of stuff, Felix.
[00:11:26] Robert: Come on now, Iso. We've had, you know, come on now. Okay, you know what? You know what? I get you. I get you. You don't trust us. I'm asking you for a genuine favor here.
[00:11:38] Star Master Jeff: A favor? Now, why would I give you a favor, Robert?
[00:11:44] Robert: Oh, you don't owe me nothing. No, I know that. I know that. I'm just, I'm just saying we're in a desperate place. We've been through some things and I will trade you. Yeah. I got some intel. I got some good stories for you. What do you think?
[00:12:03] Star Master Jeff: Well, I'm not saying I'm going to help you, but I will listen. And she lowers the shotgun. So it's no longer pointing at you, but she does not let it go.
[00:12:14] Robert: Yeah. By the way, that's a nice shotgun.
[00:12:18] Star Master Jeff: TX-7.
[00:12:18] Robert: You do that mod yourself?
[00:12:20] Star Master Jeff: Oh, you know it.
[00:12:20] Robert: Oh, I knew I liked you.
[00:12:22] Star Master Jeff: I don't like you.
[00:12:25] Thorne: I just sort of look at Robert credulously. All right, Haleyy, you want to explain what's going on or should I?
[00:12:32] Haleyy: Thorne, I can start. To get into how I have suddenly developed these new powers that I was not expecting — I'm a punchy punch person and now my hands can suddenly heal people — and our ship is in honestly a lot of disrepair given the kind of tasks that we're doing these days, with alien exosites. Come on, Haleyy, spit it out. There's just a lot of words. What do you need from me? A medical scan, because Felix — you'll notice this guy — well, I need a medical scan, and you are my favorite doctor.
[00:13:07] Star Master Jeff: Oh, this one right here? This skinny little piece of nothing thing? So you need a medical exam? Is he even a doctor?
[00:13:12] Haleyy: He's not, but he does recognize when he's out of his depth.
[00:13:18] Star Master Jeff: Oh, and let me tell you, honey, you are out of your depth.
[00:13:21] Haleyy: He really is.
[00:13:23] Robert: He actually might be a doctor of feet and doors.
[00:13:25] Haleyy: This is true.
[00:13:27] Felix: I'm just holding my middle finger up to everybody.
[00:13:29] Haleyy: But also, he is kind of right. We need to figure out what's going on with me, because — do you know what untethered means? Does this ring any bells? That's a whole other story. Never mind.
[00:13:43] Star Master Jeff: Okay, so what I'm hearing, in classic Haleyy fashion, is you need my medical expertise.
[00:13:49] Thorne: And then on top of that, once you're done looking at Haleyy, maybe your non-medical expertise — we could get some of that, too.
[00:13:57] Star Master Jeff: Oh. Well, I suppose we could talk about that. She taps the butt of her shotgun twice in a very familiar way, and then puts it on the bench behind her after unracking the shells. Okay. You need a scan. We doing the full work up here, or...?
[00:14:13] Haleyy: Any test you have, let's run it. Some things that have been happening lately — I put my hand into a portal of some kind and tendrils reached out and touched those. Went into a fugue state for a bit. Any help is appreciated. So yeah, full work up, any test you got.
[00:14:37] Star Master Jeff: Well, you've come to probably the wrong place, but I can give you a bunch of scans, but I don't know if I can help you with any sort of tentacles. Tentacle touching, skin-to-tentacle contact — I don't know what sort of thing that'll happen.
[00:14:50] Robert: Uh, so, do you have something that can look at, uh, bioelectromagnetics?
[00:14:55] Star Master Jeff: Oh, well, of course I do. I can give her a specialized EKG, probably give her a blood test, some other standard tests just on top of all of it.
[00:15:03] Robert: We need to know. Something happened and I was hoping it wouldn't, but we need to know.
[00:15:09] Star Master Jeff: Hey, from me to you, Robert, I'll take care of it. And Haleyy, you led me into battle more than one time. Never saved my life. I think I saved your life, actually, but it's water under the bridge. I'll do you a favor. This can all be free. And she winks — and you get the distinct impression that it will not be free.
[00:15:29] Thorne: Classic asshole. Thorne smiles and then his smile quickly fades when he realizes what that wink means.
[00:15:36] Star Master Jeff: She leads you through the cramped shop full of just a ton of medical junk, essentially, to the back where there's a big blue curtain that's been pulled across the entire narrow store. And pulling it back, you can see a ton of hooked up medical machines that she hurriedly goes and starts switching on and the hum of electrical equipment starts filling the room. But still in the background you can hear Neon Parallax thumping through the front store speakers. While she's setting this up — good music taste, by the way — she turns around and says: pronouns? She turns around and glares at you, Robert. She says, well, I think she/her is fine. And then she goes back to flipping different machines on. And a moment later pats a bed and says, all right, Haleyy, jump up here. I'm going to need you to take all your clothes off. So she pushes everyone out of the back and closes the curtain. You guys kind of hang around the front for a little bit. Haleyy, in the back, you have several tests run. You have a specialized EKG. Blood is drawn. Blood pressure, heart rate, O2. And then about 30 minutes later — it all goes very quick when you have a dedicated doctor — Iso opens the curtain. That does happen. Thank you. Oh, yep. No, you'll be okay. The EKG detected some interesting bioelectromagnetism.
[00:17:24] Haleyy: Biomagnetism?
[00:17:26] Star Master Jeff: Try to keep up, honey. Your brain is laced with a network of crystalline microstructures. Non-organic. Not part of a normal brain. She snaps at you because you're not responding. Do you understand, Haleyy? Your brain, no worky...
[00:17:46] Haleyy: Uh, brain worky just fine, because I know I get to hold this over Felix, that my brain is partially synthetic, and he's gonna be so jealous.
[00:17:56] Felix: So, I can take you apart?
[00:17:59] Star Master Jeff: No. Hold on, everyone. Not non-organic in such a way that she's some sort of dumb machine. She's got micro-crystalline structures in her brain.
[00:18:10] Felix: Oh, you got a rock tumor, Haleyy. You got a rock tumor.
[00:18:14] Haleyy: What?
[00:18:15] Felix: Yeah. See, when I said you were dumb as a box of rocks, I guess I actually meant it. That's right, skinny one. My name's Felix. She's dumb.
[00:18:23] Star Master Jeff: I don't care. She's very dumb, but she's also very sick, if these readouts are to be believed.
[00:18:28] Haleyy: You guys keep calling me dumb. I might not want to punch things anymore. What if I punch the wrong thing?
[00:18:34] Thorne: Haleyy, you're brilliant. You're brilliant, and you're an amazing puncher. I want to hear more about your brain scan.
[00:18:39] Haleyy: Okay, thank you.
[00:18:40] Felix: Thank you, Captain. I am concerned your head is full of rocks, Haleyy, like, in a literal sense.
[00:18:45] Haleyy: But we can fix that, right?
[00:18:47] Star Master Jeff: Well, I have to say, I don't really know too much more about this here brain scan. I'm not that sort of doctor, but you have all these microcrystals in there. You've got this weird bioelectromagnetism that seems to be emanating from your nervous system. You got this high resting heart rate, high blood pressure, low levels of glucose. And after Robert told me that you had some sort of weird energy emanate from — is that what you said, Robert? Orifices? Or just from...
[00:19:18] Haleyy: It was the hands.
[00:19:19] Star Master Jeff: Well, it sounds like you output quite a bit of energy, and it sapped a bunch of your sugars, and your body's working overtime. Now, I don't know what this means. You sound like some sort of supernatural freak show to me.
[00:19:32] Felix: Wait, wait, wait, hold on. You're saying these scans prove that what these jokers are saying happened actually happened, that Haleyy magically healed Thorne with her hands?
[00:19:42] Star Master Jeff: Hold on now, hold on there, skinny one. It doesn't prove anything. This is just some readouts that I have. These readouts are real, they are facts. Beyond that I couldn't really tell you exactly what they mean. I mean, were you all actually there? Haleyy's known to be a liar.
[00:19:59] Thorne: And a dummy. Oh, I was there. Oh my god. I have the proof right here. And Thorne lifts up his shirt and shows his stomach, just like where he was shot, but there's no scar tissue. It looks like nothing ever happened. He's like, there's your proof right there.
[00:20:09] Star Master Jeff: You've got to get more sun. First of all, second of all, put your shirt down. Ain't nobody want to see that.
[00:20:21] Felix: So these structures in her brain — is there like, I don't know, are they growing? Is there a pattern?
[00:20:29] Star Master Jeff: How long does she have? I don't know if they're growing because I've only done one scan. I would need to do multiple scans over time to know if they're growing or shrinking or propagating. They're not all over her brain. They're just in a certain section, sort of on one of her front lobes. I'm not a neuro specialist, so I don't really exactly know what that part of the brain's all about. But as for how long she has — well, I thought she was going to be dead long ago. The fact that Robert and I and her are all still alive, I'd say that's a miracle.
[00:21:01] Haleyy: That's true.
[00:21:02] Thorne: Well, if we had the time, I would say, you know, stay here, Haleyy, and get every scan under the sun. Maybe I would get some of that sun while we relaxed in the pleasant, sandy desert. But I kind of want to get off Sibylen as fast as we can. We have important things to chase after, and we have a lot of work to do before we can do it. What I do know is that whatever that is that happened, it really happened, and you're the conduit of it, and if Dr. Iso here doesn't have the information, then we're just gonna have to keep looking.
[00:21:34] Haleyy: Like, what can we do to also keep up with these scans or tests while we're on the ship to monitor this? We need better medical facilities anyways.
[00:21:44] Felix: Desperately. A workshop wouldn't hurt either.
[00:21:47] Robert: Well, there was in one of the other ships that we raided before we went over to the exosite, an advanced medical.
[00:21:56] Felix: We can't just take a medical bay out of one ship and put it into our ship, Robert. That's not how ships work.
[00:22:02] Haleyy: Felix, I'm gonna walk in here with my box-of-rocks brain and my big burly arms and say, you can't, but maybe I can.
[00:22:10] Felix: With the right facilities, yes, we can, but you need a dry dock to put the ships in. You can't, oh my God. You can't just take a room out of one place and put it in another place. That's not how rooms work.
[00:22:21] Robert: Felix, we don't need the whole damn room. We just need the EKG.
[00:22:25] Felix: If that ship is even still there when we get back, then yes, we can see what we can salvage from it.
[00:22:30] Haleyy: We did do a number on their ship. Sorry, we've been up to a lot of stuff.
[00:22:35] Felix: But need I remind you, we're not going anywhere without a new ownership module.
[00:22:41] Thorne: And that brings us to the other reason we're here, Doc. Unfortunately, we ran into some trouble with less-than-favorable folk, and they seem to have hacked ours, and now we can't get the ship out of the atmosphere. Can we do something about it?
[00:22:56] Star Master Jeff: She gets a look of concentration on her face as she thinks for a moment, and you swear you've seen her somewhere before. Well, I of course don't carry an ownership module. It's too hot to handle, but... I may know someone who might. That lead's better than nothing. Won't you come with me? And she pushes past you to the front of the store, grabs her TX-7 shotgun, and walks out the door.
[00:23:21] Thorne: Well, you heard the lady. Let's go.
[00:23:24] Star Master Jeff: So you follow Iso out of her shop, and you start going through the twisting, winding pathways of Spigot once again.
[00:23:34] Felix: Okay, so as we're walking... So I've been thinking. I think I might have a theory as to what happened in that room with the fork. Obviously those aliens had some kind of technology that could interface between a human body and their tech, right? That's what was happening with the VIs being created. I think when it overloaded, some of that energy went through Haleyy and then was channeled through her to heal Thorne. And then what's in her brain is like a remnant of that energy. Yeah, like, she was some kind of conduit. Mm-hmm. But it's not like it's still within her, so I think we're okay. We just gotta maybe keep an eye on her behavior and make sure she doesn't have any negative effects from all that junk in her skull.
[00:24:16] Thorne: Yeah, I mean, are we okay? We have to find out what is gonna happen to Haleyy here. Not so sure I like the idea of rock brain. I mean, how do you feel, Haleyy?
[00:24:25] Haleyy: Um, I feel pretty... I don't feel like my brain is full of rocks. And I mean, you know, I never... Look, I didn't get hired for my brain, so I just want to make sure this isn't going to get worse or incapacitate me.
[00:24:41] Thorne: That'd be bad. I won't call on you to solve any differential equations, but I just need to make sure you keep ticking.
[00:24:46] Haleyy: Yes, I am definitely still ticking. I would definitely like to stop and get some, like, orange juice or something, though. A snack.
[00:24:51] Robert: Oh hold on, I've got this um protein bar here. You can have this.
[00:24:57] Haleyy: Thank you. I investigate the tag for rocks.
[00:25:00] Felix: I've been feeding her rocks. That's why it's in her brain.
[00:25:04] Robert: Look, the stuff that we had to do when stationed on Wafisa 9 was hard. The dirt that was there, it was like — it was pretty good and we were pretty desperate on that mission. It got rough.
[00:25:21] Robert: But that was like 90% salt. It was technically dirt. I kept telling you it was dirt, but it did make the food taste better.
[00:25:31] Haleyy: It did. See, Felix? It's not magic, Felix.
[00:25:35] Felix: It's just an unexplained phenomenon. And I'm trying to explain it, Thorne. Speaking of things to explain, does anybody feel like they've seen Iso somewhere before? Like, I keep getting this... Okay, great. So it's not just me, right? No. And obviously, Haleyy, Robert, I know you've seen her before, so this is more for Thorne. But, like, I keep getting this weird, like, sense in the back of my head that I just have familiarity about her.
[00:26:00] Thorne: Yeah, I swear I recognize her from somewhere, but I can't place it.
[00:26:03] Robert: It's almost like you interact with her every day. Wait, what, Robert? What was that, Felix?
[00:26:11] Felix: We interact with her every day? I don't know what you're talking about. Robert, do you have rocks in your brain, too? Wait, let's try to keep up, all right? She's getting way ahead of us.
[00:26:18] Star Master Jeff: From up ahead of you, Iso turns around, having stopped at a doorway, and says, Come on, y'all taking way too long. Guess you don't really want this.
[00:26:28] Thorne: And I, like, start scurrying.
[00:26:30] Star Master Jeff: And as you get closer, she gets quieter. Want this black market ownership module. Y'all don't want that. And she looks around, like, knowing that she's kind of playing with fire. She's very aware of the risk. You're very illegal. Yeah, yeah, talk.
[00:26:41] Thorne: I get it.
[00:26:42] Star Master Jeff: Yes, I'm here. She raises her voice a little bit. Someone turns towards her, and she's like, oh, that was close. They almost found out you're here for illicit purposes. Who made you this way? You know, it's not entirely legal for me to even be carrying this shotgun around. I mean, open carry is legal, but not this gun.
[00:27:03] Haleyy: Classic Iso.
[00:27:04] Star Master Jeff: You know everybody in here is a criminal. Well, everyone's just got to do what brings them joy, and I guess this shotgun's my happy little trees. Yes, ma'am. You take a quick look around. Since you've stopped, you've obviously arrived at the location that Iso wants to bring you to, and you find that you have arrived at a local bar. Above the door, it says The Vent. Through the small porthole window, you see that inside is a quiet room full of weary miners eating lunch, having drinks. Some of them are wearing silver suits like they'd wear out in the desert. Others are wearing more traditional mining attire. And several look more like they're just townies here to have lunch and have a quick drink. Iso points through the window at a man at the bar, wearing a silver suit pulled down to his waist, exposing a t-shirt underneath and wiry, pale arms. He has a big, bushy brown beard and a bald head. Y'all see that guy in a silver suit over there?
[00:28:01] Thorne: Mm-hmm, I see him.
[00:28:03] Star Master Jeff: He's a big-time snitch, huge rat, but also a nice guy and fairly competent mechanic. You see, he runs repairs on them bots you see out in the dunes. And one thing every bot needs is an ownership module. He scribes and installs those things all the time, which makes him the perfect mark for us. Here's the thing. He knows me pretty well, and let's just say we don't really get along no more. Shocker. Hey, Robert, you want to leave here with all your fingers, you better watch it. Sorry. You scurry on in there, and you get him to talk about his work. We need to know when the next shipment's going to be. They come kind of often, but they don't always come at the same time. To figure out when that next shipment of ownership modules is going to be, then we'll come up with a plan, and we'll steal it. When you're in there talking to him, I'll be watching through this window, and if I see anything the matter at all, I'll come in, guns a-blazin', and I'll pop those punks in there like little pimples.
[00:29:03] Thorne: Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
[00:29:04] Star Master Jeff: Regardless, his name's Peter Haslow. I don't know if he's going to be put off by the fact that you know his name already. I'll let you guys all decide that. I ain't so good at talking. Might be one of the reasons that most folks in this area don't really take a shine to me. But why don't you get on in there and do your job? I'll stay out here in the Hudson. Don't leave me too long now.
[00:29:25] Felix: All right, well, I think we know what we got to do. We got our mark, right? I clap Thorne on the shoulder. I say, go get him, Captain. And I walk over to the bar.
[00:29:32] Star Master Jeff: Okay, you open the door and you head on into The Vent.
[00:29:36] Robert: While that happens, Felix, are robot ownership modules the same as a starship ownership module?
[00:29:47] Felix: Yeah, Robert, it's really all kind of the same thing. It's just a way to tell who is the owner of a given piece of technology, right? So it doesn't matter how big the tech is or how small it is. They all need this ownership module. Now, come on, let me buy you a drink.
[00:30:00] Star Master Jeff: Hey, now you're talking my language. The two of you sit down at the bar, and the bartender, a burly man with a sleeveless tank on — of course he's got a dirty little towel thrown over his shoulder — walks up. He has a big handlebar mustache. Looks like you're new here. We've got two types of liquor, and then we've got this whole menu full of food. He pulls up a menu, and it's like seven pages long.
[00:30:30] Robert: Kind of indicates to you that they make a lot of stuff and none of it's very good. He says, we got brown beer and then we got water. I'll take a brown beer. Um, and uh, just uh — I see you have quite an extensive menu. Before I read through it, do you have any moon rocks for my friend here?
[00:30:52] Haleyy: Robert?
[00:30:52] Star Master Jeff: Moon rocks. Robert, I'm fine for now. The brown beer is fine, thank you. He brings the two beers over as you're looking at the menus to decide what to eat. Robert, basically whatever you want that's fried is on here.
[00:31:11] Robert: I'm excited about this brown beer. Now, just real curious, has anyone gone blind drinking it?
[00:31:19] Star Master Jeff: He turns to Felix and he says, I don't know if your friend already came here drunk off his ass, asking about moon rocks and if my beer is gonna make him go blind. You have to forgive him. Hey, I meet a lot of weird customers in here. And I don't like the way that you look. He points at you, Robert, puts his finger right in your face, and he goes, I don't know about you. You remind me of someone I really don't like. You better watch yourself.
[00:31:47] Haleyy: Wait, sorry, hi, hi, can we revisit? What does your ale do?
[00:31:53] Felix: It's just, it's just beer. Ale. You'll have to forgive them. They both served. They took some damage in the brain region, in the field, and they're just here to relax.
[00:32:06] Star Master Jeff: You served? You're military types?
[00:32:06] Haleyy: We, yes, we are.
[00:32:09] Star Master Jeff: Corpo?
[00:32:10] Haleyy: No. I lie. Through my teeth. Very explicitly.
[00:32:18] Robert: And I look at him dead in the eyes. I go, sadly, half and half.
[00:32:23] Star Master Jeff: He nods at you, Haleyy, and then he looks at you, Robert. He says, well, then you only get half a beer. And he pours half of it out and gives you the other half. Then he gives a beer to Haleyy and he says, gotta respect public military. This one's on the house. And your half a beer — it's on the house, but you better watch your tongue, boy.
[00:32:42] Felix: Excuse me, sir. Felix is just sitting back, drinking his beer and looking for information on Iso on the local network.
[00:32:50] Haleyy: Felix, you should message Roger about this place.
[00:32:54] Star Master Jeff: Leave me alone.
[00:32:54] Haleyy: It's so different.
[00:32:56] Star Master Jeff: Do you want to message Roger? You have his info.
[00:33:00] Haleyy: Yeah, let's take a few pictures for Roger.
[00:33:01] Felix: No.
[00:33:02] Haleyy: I take a few pictures for Roger.
[00:33:04] Felix: If this is... Yeah, no.
[00:33:07] Star Master Jeff: I move down the bar, and I continue my work. The pictures that Haleyy just took slide onto your trifold, Felix. I instantly delete them without looking at them. So the chaos of the three of you continues at the bar as you interact with the barkeep. And a minute of that goes by before Thorne enters. Obviously, he's not associated with these riffraff who just came in. He's just a separate patron coming in on his own. And the aura that this man brings into this bar — everyone stops for a moment and takes a look at him. And then everyone goes back to what they were doing. And it makes the three of you appreciate the level of charisma and authority that he can command amongst people that don't know him so well. Once you get to know him, though, on the other hand. Obviously, there's a deep respect that the three of you have for him, but he's also, at this point, more than a friend, he's family. And to all these strangers, he's just a handsome guy that none of them know, coming in, back straight, chin held high. So Thorne, you walk into The Vent.
[00:34:12] Thorne: So Thorne walks into the bar and moves over to sit next to the mark, Pete Haslow. So he's sitting at the bar or at a table? He's at the bar. He's three stools down from your crew. Yeah, so I sit on the far side of my crew, next to him as close as I can, hopefully right next to him, and then just gesture with one finger to the bartender as though to say, one beer, please.
[00:34:34] Star Master Jeff: The bartender, because of the way you hold yourself, the bartender doesn't even ask for clarification. He nods and pours you a beer, and he doesn't just hand it to you. He's a couple paces down the bar, and he slides it down the bar to you. And I catch it, and I drink it, and then I let out a long, exasperated sigh. The man, Peter Haslow, he kind of gives you a look because you sit down right next to him — there's other seats you could go to. And when you get the beer, and it slides across the bar, and for some reason, when you walk into the room, all of these individual clockwork pieces kind of click into place. People are paying attention to you. Before we go any further, I'm going to need to get a roll from you. Oh, sure. Why don't you give me a Talk and let's have it be Charisma. I got a nine. When you sigh heavily, Peter looks over at you, and it's almost like he just can't help himself. He says, hey, are you okay?
[00:35:42] Thorne: Oh, what? Oh, sorry. Yeah, it's just shipping troubles. I'm sure you know how it is. Had some guys supposed to bring me a big shipment recently, super delayed, but now I've gotta figure out how we're gonna import all this stuff. There's so many lines getting onto this planet, the checkpoint's out of control. No, just pass it through.
[00:36:04] Star Master Jeff: Not from around here, huh? I wish I was. Yeah, I blew through here a couple years ago, got stuck. Got a stable job. I was, I just, whatever. I saw a job, traveled out here, thought it was temporary, but the planet's so goddamn far away, it's impossible to afford the fare back.
[00:36:24] Thorne: I know how it is. Listen, if you're looking to make some credits, I'm in a bit of a bind right now. I was supposed to get a big shipment of robot parts. I was making a sale here. There's supposed to be a lot of robot farming that happens out in these sands, I guess. Now my shipment's not going to get here, and I don't know where I'm going to get the parts that I need for my buyer. You wouldn't happen to know where I could pick up some parts for robots like that, do you?
[00:36:52] Star Master Jeff: Oh. Well, I work in shipping. I have some connections. I might be able to set something up for a small fee, of course.
[00:37:01] Thorne: Oh, absolutely.
[00:37:02] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, I mean...
[00:37:03] Thorne: If you know where I could, like, are you getting in a shipment, like, anytime soon?
[00:37:08] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, I oversee a lot of shipments, and I'm sure we can legitimately purchase them. It wouldn't be a problem at all.
[00:37:15] Thorne: Yeah, no, definitely. When do you think they'd be coming in? I mean, I would need, let's see, at least... I mean, ownership module, obviously, probably, you know, mechanical part, the spring. Oh, God, the spring.
[00:37:29] Star Master Jeff: His face kind of falls when you say ownership module and stays fallen as you then list off a bunch of easily-obtainable items. He coughs dramatically in the corner as he's overhearing some of this. Ownership module — and he leans in close. Unless you're a corpo, there's no legitimate way to purchase one. So if you work for a corporation, you might want to try to go through legitimate channels.
[00:37:53] Thorne: Oh, trust me, my friend. If I could go through legitimate channels, we would. I've got my shipment. It's on the way. But it's going to be, oh my god, at least three weeks behind schedule. And yes, I actually am with a corpo. I do have the clearance for this. In fact, you may have heard of me. Tyson Fildar with Goodbot Electronics.
[00:38:10] Star Master Jeff: I mean, if you have that connection, you might want to just wait. But if you have the capital and you can't wait, yeah, I could give you some information that may allow you to get an ownership module much sooner. But my friend, it's not going to be legitimate.
[00:38:30] Thorne: Listen, I have the credits and I have the clearance. If there's any legal trouble, I mean, we can work through it. But what I don't have is time.
[00:38:38] Star Master Jeff: The door opens and Iso walks in. She walks up to the three crewmates and she claps Felix on the back and laughs way too loudly. Thorne, from a ways away, you can hear the bartender raising his voice and telling her to get out.
[00:38:55] Felix: Kind of shrug her off of me and try to like hunker down further in my seat.
[00:38:59] Haleyy: Iso, have you had this brown ale before?
[00:39:03] Star Master Jeff: This brown ale? More like piss. This place sucks.
[00:39:07] Haleyy: I turn to the bartender and I say, you would never guess, but on one of our missions at one point — for a non-corpo thing — that was how we referred to things that were cool and delicious.
[00:39:24] Star Master Jeff: I don't think so. Yeah. If you three are friends with her, you're going to have to get the fuck out of here. I don't serve her or her kind.
[00:39:32] Robert: Yeah, now I got to know what you mean by her kind.
[00:39:35] Felix: You know, taking a second to look at you, I think you know exactly what I mean. Felix looks at Robert as the bartender says this, and then looks back at Iso, and then looks back at Robert, and then puts his head in his hands and says, oh, fuck me, and walks out of the bar.
[00:39:52] Star Master Jeff: That interaction is happening. In the corner, Thorne is talking to Peter. And Peter says, oh, shit, it's Iso. I fucking hate her. Listen, man. He takes out a data pad. He shows it to you, and he's trying to initiate a credit transfer with you. He says, 500 credits. Really appreciate this. Next shipment's tomorrow morning at 3 a.m. You're going to want to be down by the helium docks. Number seven, there's an autonomous ship. It drops off the cargo. It secures it, lock and key type stuff. Then it flies away. Bots will handle all the unloading. Usually there's no one else even there. At that moment, a shattering noise followed by a hollow ringing sound like a metal cup bouncing on a floor cuts through the din of the room. Felix, you're about halfway through the door, but Robert, you immediately turn and you clock it first. A grenade slides across the floor, having just crashed through the window, stopping just a few feet away from you.
[00:40:53] Robert: This don't look like no flashbang. I dive over towards it. I grab it, and I was thinking about hurling it towards the door, but Felix is slowly loping towards it with his mechanical legs. So instead, I grab it and hug it behind the bar as fast as I can.
[00:41:11] Star Master Jeff: Hell yeah. For that series of actions, I'm going to have you roll Exert Dex.
[00:41:17] Robert: And for that, I rolled an eight.
[00:41:20] Star Master Jeff: Eight's gonna do it. That's a great roll. So you dive onto the floor, grab the grenade, roll into your back quickly and pop it over the side of the bar. And you know that these things usually have like a six second fuse. So you're already counting in your head. You grab onto it with four, three, toss it, two, one. The barkeep looks a little confused at first and then he's just gone. His charred corpse slams against the bar and falls down below it. The entire bar gets blown out. Flames and debris flying everywhere. People are screaming. Smoke fills the air as a gas line starts to ignite from behind the bar. People are coughing and running out of the bar as quickly as they can. Thorne — you barely processed what was happening. It seems that only Robert from your crew totally knew what was going on. But about 10 feet down the bar, this grenade got hucked over, and you and Peter are blown back in an embrace as you fall to the ground and tumble over each other and knock over a table on the far side of the bar. The whole inside of the bar has been barely decimated, and it is a pure zone of chaos.
[00:42:33] Thorne: I checked to see if he's alive.
[00:42:35] Star Master Jeff: Yeah, he's coughing, and he's grabbing onto you, and the two of you are running out of the bar pretty much neck to neck.
[00:42:40] Thorne: Yeah, we help each other up and get out of here, but I do keep a distance from the rest of the crew.
[00:42:45] Star Master Jeff: As you're exiting the bar, you hear the sounds of shotgun fire pumping into the air, and you exit out to a scene of chaos as people are gathering around the bar, trying to see if they can help, and off to the side, you see Iso. As she turns away from an alleyway and runs up to you, and she says, I couldn't catch him. I saw the bugger, but he made off down that alley. Come on, it's too hot here, we gotta get out of here. We don't want to be here when the ranks show up. And she starts diving into the crowd.
[00:43:08] Thorne: Yep, walkin' low, let's do this thing. I'll follow, but, like, catch Thorne's eye first.
[00:43:12] Robert: Yeah, I give you a nod. Alright, and I follow them.
[00:43:15] Star Master Jeff: She leads you back to her shop. Once you're inside, she double-checks the door, locking it over and over again, and then she pulls up all the security footage from around her building. Once she's totally happy that everything is safe, she slides a turret out of the wall, which comes seamlessly from out of a hidden hatch in her workbench, something none of you noticed before, and she checks its clip. For a moment, you all realize just how much danger you were in last time you were in here at the wrong end of her shotgun. The turret slides back into the wall, and then she turns around and says, now what the hell was that? A grenade in broad daylight is just crazy.
[00:44:18] Haleyy: What are you, Iso? You tell us. It seems like everybody that we've met since we got into this town hates your guts, so I would not be surprised if that grenade was for you.
[00:44:28] Star Master Jeff: Hey, don't try to pin this on me. Not no one ever tried to throw a grenade at me. Ever since I left the military, people here may not like me but damned if they're gonna try to kill me. They know I'll kill them first.
[00:44:42] Felix: Okay, okay, okay. Best watch yourself. Listen, we made a lot of enemies. I'm sure it's one of them after us. As soon as we get this ownership module, we'll be out of your hair.
[00:44:52] Star Master Jeff: Can't be quick enough.
[00:44:53] Felix: I look at Haleyy and Robert and I give them a scathing look and I say, we are going to have a conversation later about what information is or is not important for you to tell me about the people that we're going to meet.
[00:45:04] Robert: Thought it would be obvious. And never, never had a grenade hooked at you? You don't remember the Red Rice Wars?
[00:45:09] Star Master Jeff: Of course I remember the Red Rice Wars, Robert. God, I practically invented them wars. She turns her back on you and goes onto her terminal and you see her pulling up the news feeds and checking all the different news outlets about the explosion today.
[00:45:22] Felix: I throw my hands up and I look at Haleyy.
[00:45:24] Felix: Haleyy, I cannot deal with two of them. This is insane. Iso, is there a kitchen?
[00:45:27] Star Master Jeff: I need some calf. Just points off to the side and you see that there is essentially a sink and a Keurig machine off to the side.
[00:45:33] Felix: Stomp over there and make coffee.
[00:45:35] Robert: I tried to get you moon rocks.
[00:45:38] Star Master Jeff: Meanwhile, while things are simmering at Iso's shop, Thorne, you're still with Peter Haslow after escaping The Vent. And there's the Spigot equivalent of the volunteer firefighter force out, and several Regulators — the local police force — have moved in and started to question the crowd and see if anyone knows exactly what happened.
[00:45:51] Thorne: Is that a normal occurrence here on Sibylen? I can't say that was an enjoyable experience. I didn't like that.
[00:45:58] Star Master Jeff: No, that's not normal at all. Terrorism and attacks, especially in broad daylight, is not something that happens here. We're a simple blue-collar community. We don't have anything like this ever happening. The Regulators make sure of that. And you take note of the heavily armored, electro-baton-wielding men in the smart caps, walking around and tapping people and demanding that they answer for what's happened here.
[00:46:27] Thorne: Well, I think it might be best if we get away from this site, so I appreciate the help that you gave me, and I kind of give him the universal gesture for, I'll be seeing you.
[00:46:37] Star Master Jeff: He raises a hand and then goes and sits on a stoop and waits for his turn to be questioned as you melt into the crowd and make your way to Iso's shop. It's about an hour later, and things haven't really cooled down in the shop. When Thorne arrives, Iso sees him on the security cameras immediately, unlocks the door, then lets him in. The tension in here is so thick, you could almost cut it with a knife. Felix is off to the side, drinking what is most likely his third or fourth cup of coffee. Robert and Haleyy are chatting quietly to each other, and Iso is staring at the newsfeed, scouring for information on the explosion.
[00:47:19] Thorne: I mean, other than the grenade, what the hell's the matter with all of you?
[00:47:22] Felix: Well, Thorne, I don't know if you noticed, but we've got two RRs here. Two RRs?
[00:47:30] Thorne: I ain't no RR. Wait a minute. And then I turn around and I look at Iso and then I look at Robert and then I look at Iso and then I look at Felix and I just go, son of a bitch.
[00:47:42] Star Master Jeff: Okay, well, first of all, y'all sound ignorant and offensive. Second of all, he's like version 38 or something. I'm like 60. There's a reason he's a little bit older than me — because I came around a little bit later, a little bit smarter, a little bit faster, a little bit stronger, a little bit cooler in every way possible. He's just a dumb ass clone. Isn't that right, Robert?
[00:48:04] Haleyy: No, no, that's not...
[00:48:04] Robert: I'm version one, thank you very much.
[00:48:07] Thorne: It all makes so much sense why the two of you have trouble getting along. This actually makes me feel better after everything that just happened out there. What did happen, Thorne? You get any more information? Oh, I got the info, but I do not know what happened with that whole explosion. I was hoping one of you could tell me.
[00:48:24] Robert: We couldn't track him down.
[00:48:26] Thorne: Is it too much to hope that it was someone looking to assassinate someone else? I look pointedly at Iso. Maybe...
[00:48:34] Robert: We have been known to generate a little bit of hate in our days, but I can tell you one thing, it ain't Rynn Kade.
[00:48:43] Thorne: Well, listen, I got information on the module that we need, but if Iso is to be believed, I'm not sure I trust this guy's intel. He was pretty insistent that what we were looking for was not going to be on the up and up. And he gave me very specific details about where to look. I don't want to waltz into a trap. So let's take this information and try to use it to our advantage. And then I kind of give everybody the details of the docks and tomorrow morning, et cetera, where we got to go and what we got to do. So obviously we'll need to watch out for cameras. But my big concern is that Pete's going to have someone wait for us.
[00:49:18] Robert: Now, does he know about us?
[00:49:21] Thorne: He doesn't know who I was with.
[00:49:23] Robert: Yeah, because I'm thinking if we're waiting for you on Overwatch, I mean, we got a couple of crack shots up in here. You could just stroll in all alone, little old you.
[00:49:34] Felix: Yeah, and if I can get access to those systems early, I could put a line shunt in and do some serious damage to their security systems, most likely. Well, we have a good 12 hours. How far away is this dock, Thorne?
[00:49:47] Star Master Jeff: Iso, how far away is these docks? The helium docks? Hey, this ain't a very big town, sweetie. She kind of said that distractedly, and then she slams her hand on her desk, making you all jump. Damn it! What now? They've got every angle of the aftermath of the explosion, but no one with all their cameras in all their pockets saw what happened? No one was taking a random picture and uploaded it? Nothing. So I can't even tell who might have thrown that grenade in the first place so I can go do him the pleasure of putting a slug in his face.
[00:50:18] Thorne: This is the worst day ever. Well, I at least have a theory about who sent them. Though I regret to say that the people who are looking out for us have a lot of control over a lot of things. And it will make things difficult for us. Who are you thinking, Thorne? Well, I'm thinking our good friend with the bad haircut, of course. Viktor Strake, that is.
[00:50:37] Robert: Mr. The Acceptable Loss himself.
[00:50:39] Thorne: Well, one thing at a time. Well, one thing at a time is right, but if we've got a Virodyne assassin chasing us down, it's going to be hard to get one thing at a time even done. Robert and Haleyy, I'm going to need the both of you on, like, full alert.
[00:50:50] Haleyy: Aye, aye, Captain. I mean, yep, got it.
[00:50:53] Thorne: Yes, sir. In the meantime, if we can get down to the docks, Felix, I do kind of like your idea. That'll give us a good chance to scope it out ahead of time. And then, Robert, if we do want to set something up, we'll know the landscape. The other thing is, if we're gonna do any pilfering ourselves, then the legitimate business that we have left to do should probably be in order first. That gives us precious little time.
[00:51:16] Star Master Jeff: And precious little time is right, because we are out of it for tonight. Well, that's it for this week. Thanks for listening to the Dark Star Adventurecast. Big thanks to our cast, Brian as Thorne, Scott as Felix, Doja as Robert, Steph as Haleyy, and, as always, I'm Star Master Jeff, playing everyone and everything else. If you want to hear every episode two weeks early, head on over to patreon.com slash darkstaradventurecast, and a huge thanks to Brad and Holly, our Scapegoat Syndicate supporters. If you're enjoying the show, please take a moment to leave us a rating and a review wherever you listen. It really helps new people find the show. Next time on the Dark Star Adventurecast: Iso is pissed, and the crew still needs their ownership module. With time running out, they desperately attempt to turn the tables on the assassin, and run into a face they truly didn't expect. Well that's it for tonight, thanks again for listening all, and as always, keep following that signal.